Haribol,
Dear devotees.
Many times I had people asked me questions and few I read in this forum about the very out of your comfortzone; sex.
Yes 4 principles we all dictate, but; walk your talk!
You all can lie to me , but not to Yamaraja/Krishna about your sexlife.
Don't tell me the standard of;"You can only have sex inside marrige and only for beget childeren to raise in Krishna conciousness." Or like others maty say;"Only once a month" or other excuses find in scriptures (but where in Gita???)
People are such huge liars or sadly break vows out of sex urge. Like during programs I heard often;"Think of sex, masturbating or watching sex is forbidden!"
Don't tell me if you are married and have 2 kids or I so not know 4, you only had 2 or 4 times sex in your life and never ever had the urge or taught of sex.
Sadly in many religious comunities(even this one) sex scandels or mee-too sort of things happen. Why? Because we all are not honest to our selves. We shout sex is bad! Sex is forbidden, only for Krishna! Walk your talk... It would be a good thing is there are devotees who will write a book with pointers and arguments, tips how to deal with sex.
It is a taboo and illicit wat or explicit to talk about it, better censor the topic sex, right? Than again, if people start to join the ISKCON movement are there devotees who are teaching the sex topic? Not me, When I joined no word... and if I asked, they shut me up or avoide me like the plague! To avoide sexscandels or fall downs of devotees due illicit taughts&handelings, please to all Maharaja's and second initiated bramha's, open up a book and tell how YOU all deal with sex! That would help all starting devotees on the path. I met several people who started to join but found out they are desperately dating or secretly have had sex, I found out when stroll in forest. So sad. While they shout every day;"4 principles! 4 PRINCIPLS!" Vaisnava aparada yes I am guilty, but please tell me excatly what I must do to avoide sex?!
Scientifically, and yes I went to a doctor for this to stop sex, no ejaculation the body will be stressed out. Mentally too, as you might discovered, my mental health went downwards. Due supression of sexual hormons, I got hearth trouble, bladerpains and on top mentally disorders due sleepless nights. Because I am not married, and I can't afford to raise a child. So according to devotees like we all, NO SEX!
Even some famou purana stories about sex or the story where a certain demigod had to swollow someones semen... we all read, but where to read how to control it and get rid of it?
Many court cases of homofillia in the past of chemical castration or castration found out even than such men still had the urge of sex. How is it possible that a devotee than can wipe out all his feelings?Or you lie, or you are a very strickt holy person I must praise you and you are 100% liberated! A saint!
By me it is completly out of hand, chanting like madman and sometimes days awake, often periodes of 2 till 4 times a hour to the toilet. Pains... but that no one tells you at ISKCON... just behave one once told me. Right... I think a married couple is very very advanced to keep away the temptation of sex while they every night share the bed. Private, you may say, but Yamaraja knows it all, Like I posted; you can easily lie to me, but not to The Personality of Godhead and/or Yamaraja, when left the body!
Mentally I am on the edge at least once a month. Means a kind of mix of rage and psychose about everything sex is dirty and kill all people who have sex. Almost up to a terrorist or extremist feeling. Because Gita, Prabhupada say; one of 4 principles, NO SEX! So I tell people they are bad, devils and have to be killed if have sex. Which is bad. So please dear devotees, stop lying to me and explain how to deal with sex in the scriptures. IN DETAIL! Not just; yeah 4 principles. If you do so, you are in my eye's not a serious devotee.
Hare Krishna!
Replies
This issue is desa-kala-patra specific so it is to be learned from the guru who knows the disciple well. So I'll simply refer you to an article found at 1st place in Duckduckgo and Qwant search engines by searching for "Brahmacarya is defined in Yajnavalkya's words".
There is some misinformation in your question:
- "no sex" is actually "no illicit sex". Licit sex is defined in dharma sastras.
- "Sex in marriage and for procreation only" are actually two standards and to some disciples SP told to follow only the first, if they couldn't follow the second. Still, they should make an effort to gradually minimize it.
Even illicit sex is not as harmful as Vaisnava aparadha.
So a minimal standard for a non-initiated devotee living outside asram would be:
- to decrease asat sanga and to increase satsanga as much as possible
- to serve Krisna and His devotees as much as possible
- to follow what is possible and to gradually improve, remembering SB 3.31.37
Hari Hari
ys J.
Hare Krsna
The best remedy is to practice calling every other woman "devotee" as Mataji. There is no other logic to it. If it was so easy to conquer the sex desire then everyone would be like Alexander the Great!
Hari Bol
In other words, one who can control his tongue, belly and genitals is the real conquerer. More than even Alexander of Macedonia.
i am exactly in your shoes as they say so here is my recommendation
Try to stay connected to Krishna always,i know this sounds really a platitude but this works.You already know the hows of it but still a little explanation from me may help..
staying connected can take on many forms like listening,chanting,association,reading etc.BUT it is just not only this.
you'll have to know it,i mean The highest achievement you can achieve while chanting is chanting!! It means that you don't think in terms of ...i might be doing this or that when connected to Krishna..because simply stated there is nothing else superior in material or spritual spheres when you are connected to Krishna.It's like you are participating in an eternal pastime right here in this material world.A personal slice of vaikuntha right here with you.
I say that even if you don't feel all giddy with pleasure while chanting etc.It just does not matter but KNOW for sure that you are in spritual realm.So when this is absolutely clear in your mind that you have Krishna right by your side always only if you WANT him to be,then will you like to leave his side ever or rather would you want him to leave your side??
Again let me be clear that it's not that mahamaya shakti would have no effect whatsoever.If you happen to see or listen something capable of rousing your base nature,it surely would trigger.The thing that works here is complaint!! You can complain to Krishna about it and don't delve on it too much as you know ....dhyato vishya punsa...
Nightfall may happen once or twice a month..let it be..
One more thing don't be lethargic in your Krishna connection,be very enthusiastic about whatever service you are rendering and be very grateful if you are receiving some service from a devotee.