Hare Krishna to all the like minded devotees, I want to ask a question but i would request humbly to the replier to keep a broader perspective, be open minded, non fanatical and non biased while writingthe reply as the topic is quite delicate and very sensitive.
I am connected to ISKCON for about 2 years,and very much influenced by the Gaudiya Vaishnav School of thaught and also by the biography of HDG Srila Prabhupada. And I am following the Gaudiya Vaishnav Philosophy,
Now on the matter of initiation i was having a tough time then i heard a lecture from HH Gour govind maharaj that"One should yearn to krishna for a sat diksha guru". I always would pray to Krsna to provide me a sat guru and i used to watch evry initiating maharaj classes but couldnt feel the connection from the core of my heart(Not intending to say they are not pure or sat guru).
Parallely my english teacher who has done bhakti Sastri from Mayapur and had recently initiated in Bhakti Kusum Gaudiya Math,Vrindavan by HH Bhakti Kinkar Sridhar Swami Maharaj the disciple of Bhakti Kusum Swami Maharaj (A pure devotee godbrother of Srila Prabhupada) by a divine exigency as he(my recently initiated teacher) explained that the 1st time he had a meeting with his guru tears continuously flowed from his eyes and he was mesmerized by his speech, purity, vairagya, simplicity. I was amazed, and i also wanted to to meet the pure personality, then it happened that on early 2022 he came with his sannyasi disciple to my initiated Teacher's house, and I also paid a visit, the connection that i felt with him was unexplanable,I felt that he is my gurudev.
Then now I am feeling so much attraction and impatient in taking initiation from him and i dont have a miniscule of doubt on whether he is my guru or not,
but was backed by some points:
1. When my teacher took initiation from him the local ISKCON devotees mocked him, criticised him and said statements which was blasphemous for anyone's Diksha Gura like "TheGaudiya Math cheated you as they always do", "You fell in their trap", "You are being misguided"
2. The other thing that HG Amogh Lila Prabhu once mentioned that "those who are in ISKCON let them be in ISKCON, who are in GM let them be there and there shouldnt be free mixing"(I understand in which perspective he is telling) but HH Bhakti Kinkar Sridhar Swami Maharaj tells a very broad and open minded statement that"We are all on the diff branches of the same Saraswat Chaitanya tree thus we should take association of any pure devotee irrespective of their origin either ISKCON or GM"
Thus i request the open minded devotee community to answer in this regard.