HARE KRISHNA.... JAI JAGANATH....
I strongly believe that in order to be a good devotee of krishna, we have to be good as a person as well. Bhakti yoga is not only about finishing our rounds, reading books, preaching and learning philosophies.....there is serious character building as well... as we progress in our spiritual life, we have to become better as a human..... we should be more polite, humble, truthful, sincere..well, these are actually the signs that show that we have progressed in our spiritual life
Now, the question is....how can there be devotees, chanting 16 rounds, doing tri - sandhya gayatri, reading books and preaching so well yet they are not able to display good attitude? I know this prabhu whose wife is also a devotee. He looks down on women....in general...he speaks harsh and vulgar words whenever he gets angry..... he gets angry for every single thing...doesn't have the patient to hear what others are trying to say..... very rude.....talks in a very harsh tone...
I am not blaming him but that is how he is and his wife is going through a hard time..... not to mention, beating his wife is something very common... i would like to know.... especially i would like to hear from the indians...is beating one's wife in the name of correcting her allowed in indian culture?
In mahabharat, shikandi was shooting rains of arrows on Bhishmadev..Bhishmadev knows for sure that shikandi is determined to kill him...He did not even counter attack him just because he knew that Shikandi was a woman in his previous birth.....now, that is a real man....how gentle he was..what an admirable character.... no wonder Krishna personally offered his respect when he was lying on the bed of arrows...
Why are some devotees,sorry to say especially indian men, why are they so harsh in nature despite their practice in bhakti yoga..
what can be done to change people like this?
kindly help....
Replies
Dear caring devotees, Hare Krsna. We may consider how Srila Prabhupada handled similar situations like this.
He advised that the Indian devotee lady leave her husband immediately.
After sometime He said it was not good that she was not married.
Then he arranged that she would get divorced and married again.
She had no children at that time.
If there are grown up children then there will be problems for them.
If the child is just a baby then I see no problem with re marriage.
This beating the wife is illegal and should be reported.
Whoever supports this beating and hides it from being reported is acting irresponsibly.
All such acts of physical abuse against women and children are never to be ignored.
Devotees do not do such heinous acts.
hare krishna..thanks to all the devotees.... He calls his wife as alakshmi, means unfortunate and unlucky one....is that a proper word to call a wife? im just so surprised that dont they fear the fruits of karma? he is conveniently taking his wife for granted..... unless Krishna shows his mercy on him...otherwise he is not going to change and a hard and tormenting life is waiting for him in the future......the best part is he claims that indian system is that husband must beat a wife in order to correct her.....it is not sinful because it is good for her..... superb philosophy.....
All the mahajans are actually mahajans not simply because of their strict penance or austerity..it is also their matchless character....hope all this will come to his understanding one day....impudence will only lead to hell and it will cut off all the creeps of devotion in our heart....humility and humbleness are the signs of devotees...not only tilak and tulsi mala
Hare Krishna dear Devotees, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
In countries of Europe and America mostly wives are over controlling but in Asian countries mostly things are opposite. Husband considers wife as a slave and as the object of sense gratification, desire fulfiller (mostly).
And wives are also uneducated, in ignorance they do not know how to be in life because from childhood they were taught that you are slave (again mostly, not all).
So here comes problem of proper education.
In western world women are over controlling because in the beginning they attach man to their beautiful body later man looses his intelligence and becomes a dog of a woman (mostly, how sad).
In Asian countries girls usually are not educated at all so they do not know how to be with husband. What is real chastity and humility. Chastity is not to become a desire-less living entity, no.
Wives duty is to educate husband in a womanly way and husband's duty to educate wife in a manly way.
So this life is education only.
If wife is ignorant, without any self confidence, then husband will start to dislike her. And he will become cruel but that is the time intelligent wife gives lesson to a husband by her actions, words...not just sitting and shedding tears and continuing to be a slave.
Why she allows him to beat her?
This is the last stage of family life when man starts to beat a woman.
The first stage is when woman starts to hide her thoughts she becomes un chaste and from there begins problems.
Later husband thinks she is lying to me. Later wife starts really to lie out of fear...in this way destruction.
So no matter Indian or western family people should learn how to live in family life. It is a whole science.
Your servant,
Respected Mataji,
Please accept my humble obeisances,
I fully acknowledge that i am neither qualified nor competent speak on such matters. Yet i pray to sri guru & gauranga to enable me to be of some service to you.
A person who chants the holy name of Krsna, attains the purification of the heart and all the good qualities including those you have mentioned. However this chanting needs to be free from the ten nama aparadhas . For offenses against the holy name are the most frightening. (jaiva Dharma Ch 24). Of all the offenses inattentive chanting is the most common one.
it is said that "Holy name of the lord, if chanted once without offenses, can dissipate all the reactions of a living being's sinful life" (padyavali 16) So offence less chanting is absolutely essential for consequential benefits of the holy name which we have read. (details can be read in the book "harinama Chintamani" by Bhaktivinoda Thakur). So if our chanting of 16 rounds is not offense less, we shall not get rid of our bad qualities and attain qualities of a devotee.
In the issue raised by you, I remember advise given to me, when i was stuck with some seniors in office. The advise was as follows"Humility is the most powerful weapon in the world, it melts the heart of even the most rude beings". In this matter help of some senior devotees can taken to suitably advise prabhu ji. You may advise mataji (the wife) to take to the chanting holy name fervently and pray to krishna to help her cross the period of distress. She should also use the weapon of humility to deal with her husband. She should aspire to do attentive chanting in the morning to start with.
I pray to Krishna to have mercy on all of us, to help us get rid of anarthas.
Your lowly servant,
dhananjay
Hare Krishna Dhamesvari Mataji
Pranam! I have great respect for all Vaishnavas and firmly believe that if Krishna consciousness is taken not as a fanaticism bus as a natural thing, then I don't understand how can such bad(hitting his own wife) qualities reside inside a person who is chanting even 2 rounds a day.
In India even people not belonging to any sampradayas officially has been worshiping Vishnu/Krishna from ages. They may not be completely desire free or free from bad qqalities but are on the way....to it
I have known people spending least of 3/4 hours a day on Nand gopal worship even though they know nothing about ISKCON or other sampradaya. The knowledge is coming from great grandfathers/forefathers/generations
That convinces me that God/krishna consciousness is a natural thing. we just need to awaken it. However some people take it in a fanatic/addictive manner . And those who take it this way seems to still carry bad qualities in them until one day they are really awakened by true Krishna consciousness.
Hare krishna
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