Forum

Anger

Posted by Abhilasha Tripathi on July 11, 2011 at 10:43pm in Krishna

Hare Krishna,,,,

anger is one of the biggest enemy of the human...but sometimes we are forced to show our anger in order to justify ourselves in case we know that we are correct.....

so my basic query is in two parts :

a)is it justify to show anger in such a case?

b)how can the we keep ourselves apart from anger in case it is useless?

You need to be a member of ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT to add comments!

Join ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT

Email me when people reply –
Follow

Replies

  • Brij Mohan Bhardwaj July 20, 2011 at 8:58pm
    Respectd J.Das Prabhu G,Hare Krishna ! I do agree with your philosophy .Thks to LORD KRISHNA I got the solution to fight this evil .
  • sanjay agrawal July 14, 2011 at 9:56pm

     

    1-it actually depends u know...u should always see through the eyes of the scriptures as to know whether you are correct or not...and for the other point u asked is..whenever u feel angry just keep in mind lust,anger and greed are the 3 gateways to hell...and control urself..i hope u hab already had a bit of experience of hell(this very place)...its not less than hell if u r not in knowledge..

     

  • Bijoy Krishna Debnath July 14, 2011 at 1:57pm
    Hare Krsna! Please all accept my humblest respects...

    I find this subject very interesting; I hope you don’t mind if I add some information here. Although this topic is about anger, it could be divided into 3 parts: Showing anger, justifying anger and avoiding anger. I believe that all of these are connected to the (false) ego (my opinon doesn't have to be yours).

    ‘...anger is one of the biggest enemy of the human...’ > I agree,

    1. Showing anger could provoke another’s anger. This anger could develop into something worse, from small trivial personal conflicts to wars and everything in-between. Although sometimes it has been known to bring people closer together, in most cases it does not. If I say I am right (= my false ego), then I am silently saying that the other is wrong. This is often provoking and could trigger the other‘s anger (false ego).
    2. Justifying anger...I would ask myself, is this about justifying my anger or about justifying my point of view (=my false ego)? How would I benefit from becoming angry, is it useful? Would I feel more peaceful? Will I become more Krishna Conscious? I have found that (ongoing) anger can disturb my mind whilst chanting; therefore would I not be committing offenses? I know that anger also has many more negative sides to it, especially deep-rooted anger. I have also noticed that people often state: ‘that person made me angry’ in other words, someone else triggered anger within me. Just how is that possible? Is the other person in control of me? Am I in control of me or is the Lord the Supreme Controller? A practical comment about this: did the Lord not give us a free will to choose?
    3. To avoid anger...THAT is the real challenge. Taking 10 deep breaths before angrily responding to something really does help. Trying to put myself in the other's shoes so-to-speak can also help even if I don't agree or agree to disagree. It can give one the opportunity and time to ask oneself the same questions as mentioned in point 2 above. Furthermore, by becoming angry do I REALLY see all living entities as equal souls?


    Many human beings see things from their own perception, that is THEIR reality and very often it is also their truth (even though it doesn’t have to be the truth). Then the question arises, if we become angry do we express it and if so, how? What could be the consequences of expressing my anger for me and for the other? Why would I express my anger? I think this would be a different topic.

    The other thing is that our reactions to other’s actions are often second nature; habits sub-consciously learnt from very young ages. I’m not quite sure but isn’t this some of the dust that has accumulated on the mirror of our mind (or something similar) that HDG Srila Prabhupad speaks about. Is this not what we are meant to clean through chanting? I also need to honestly add that it is much easier to write about this topic than to easily put it into practice but...as they say, practice makes perfect. I am also convinced that chanting helps to clean and calm the mind which makes it easier to control anger. Although I have managed to control anger in recent years (friends around me have even noticed) and see things from a different perspective, I can still become angry sometimes at unjust behaviour and other things...it is a terrible habit and absolutely non-beneficial. I am convinced that chanting is a wonderful tool to help control anger.

    I’m sure that I may have overlooked many points here but I just wanted to add something. Please forgive me if I have expressed things inappropriately, I am not trying to offend anyone so my sincerest apologies in advance. I am very new within ISKCON so I have very much to learn...

     

    @ Sudheendra...just 1 question, what is anartha?

    • Volunteer
      Jagadatma das > Bijoy Krishna Debnath July 14, 2011 at 10:33pm
      Hare Krsna Bijoy Krsna!  Thanks for your nice clear comments.  It is a big subject.  Anger can be a big obsticle for some of us.  If we become offencive then we will loose our taste for spiritual life and fall down.
  • Volunteer
    Sudheendra S July 12, 2011 at 4:24pm

    Anger is something which can be a cause of our fall down from the path of Spirituality. At the same time we should understand that giving up any of the anarthas by our own is not possible. Everything has to be dovetailed in service of Krishna.

     

    Arjuna in the battlefield of Kurukshetra did not wished to fight the war and put down his bow. But Krishna spoke the BG and inspired him to fight. Srila Prabhupada writs in the purport of NOI text 1 that Krishna induced anger in Arjuna to make him fight the battle. Without anger one can not fight. But Prabhupad explains that Arjuna did it for Krishna's service, because Krishna told him to do.

     

    When Jagai and Madai abused and assaulted Lord Nityananda pr and physically hurt him, Sri Chaitnya Mahaprabhu got very anger and invoked Sudarshan chakra to kill them. But were latter saved by Nityananda pr himself.

     

    So the point is you can use the anger in service of Krishna. If some one is offending vishnavas or Krishna, then we can display our anger. If some one is doing the same on us then just understand it to be a test to see our sense control. If u react u fail it and if u control the situation, you will climb the ladder of spirituality.

     

    Hare Krishna

    • Deepika Shrivastava > Sudheendra S July 13, 2011 at 9:38am

      a very good advice..i will always keep this in my mind.

      Hare Krishna!!

  • Malini Karuna Devi Dasi July 12, 2011 at 3:48pm

    Hare Krishna Abhilasha mataji,

    I am just sharing my personal realizations. 

    To justify oneself is in itself very wrong, I have read.

    Justifying oneself is like defending oneself, self defence... When do we want to defend us, when some one attacks us.. The position that we are for others to attack itself is wrong. When will someone attack us? When we hurt them directly or indirectly... or when we do some thing sinful... We should see whether it is really attack... it is in our mind to take it as attack or constructive criticism. If we want to take it in good spirit we surely can. When our mind is quiet and calm we can take it easy, but when already there is turmoil inside the mind, others comment will not soothe us, we would only push it aside with the sword of self defence, we justify us by all means. Depending on the tension in the mind we become more or less angry. 

    When will the mind be calm and quiet, to take everything easy, only in devotional service like chanting, hearing, reading and seva... So the analysis ends here. The more we chant our tolerance develops, anger and hyper reactions, self justification reduces.

    Hence instead of thinking to control anger at the later stage, if we go inner and see the cause, we can take good control of it.

     

    I have also read and heard one more thing... the more confusion, tension, intolerance, hatred, anger in mind... it is an indication that we need to increase our rounds of chanting... This itself shows all these are negative qualities. So we can just ignore, need not doubt whether the anger is right or wrong. Just dissolve it in chanting and see the results. I am sure it will work.

     

    Anger in any form is not going to help. If it is between parents and children, it will distance the children from us. DO we need it? Between spouse, it will reduce respect and increase frustration, unless the other one is highly matured. Do we need to loose such relationships? Ofcourse with other outer realtionships are not much affected...

    Anger = no self control... Do we need this?

    Do we have to loose self control? Isn't that low...? So I think there is good reason to keep off anger.

     

    Please pray for me also to follow if these are true...

    If I am wrong please anybody correct me.

    Humbly yours

    Meena

     

  • Volunteer
    Jagadatma das July 12, 2011 at 3:18pm

    Dear devotee Hare Krsna,   this is good.

      a]  There is generaly no reason to show anger as it may defeat your purpose.   If I want a particular result like co operation.  Others to listen to me. then I should not use anger. It may scare them and they may then avoid me all together.   Think carefully and dont be so reactive.    Agressive.   Its a bad habit.

      b]   You have to learn a different responce.  Scriptting    As a human you are held responce-able.   You have to learn Asertiveness.  For this you may need personal training in conflict resolution.  Learn new habits. 

      I myself took a course in conflict resolution some years ago.  It helped me and I would do it again as a refresher.  I even contemplated becoming a facilitator of this training for the devotees. They will benefit from this.  Search.    Conflict Resolution Network.     They have I remeber a good audio series.

    • Volunteer
      Jagadatma das > Jagadatma das July 12, 2011 at 6:43pm
      Hare Krsna dear devotees.   Yes chanrt Hare Krsna and become purified.     You can go on chanting and you will develop some good qualities but you should not neglect educatioal training.   This anger management and appropriate responses is not given in school or in most families   rather we are mis trained in all the wrong ways to deal with conflicts and bad habits.    Some who have recieved higher education have had the training and know it is a material skill that can be taught.   they are profesional mediators and devotees should accept thay need the  skills that will help us in all our dealings with people.    Devotees develop very nice hunility and this is a valuable gem but you also have to be asertive sometimes or someone will take advantage.   You may indeed be faced with having to fight for the truth.    So better to get educated in the skills of communication.
      • Malini Karuna Devi Dasi > Jagadatma das July 12, 2011 at 7:55pm

        Agree Prabhuji. Learning to handle life situations apart from devotional service is also essential. Totally agree with your thoughts Prabhuji. Will definitely take in your advice and learn more communication skills.

        Hare Krishna

        Meena

         

This reply was deleted.