Hare Krishna
By the blessings and mercy of RadhaKrishna, my Guru and all Krishna Devotees I'm grateful for all that I have received in these three years of pursing engineering. But I have always felt that I have not utilized this oppurtunity to the best of my ability. I have taken part in few competitions and volunteerily gave presentations which I never did in school as I always had stage fear. After starting bhakti and practicing mind management, I'm trying to overcome all my fears and I could volunteerily do all these. Yet, I feel that I should have strived more in both material works and bhakti. For example, although I'm studying in non-IT branch, I could have learnt coding by now which is a vital skill for an engineer, could have learnt many other skills and at the same time, instead of wasting time on social media, I could have increased my chanting rounds(I have been chanting only 1 round everyday and I miss that too for few days, but I keep hearing lectures and kirthan).
My goal is to get a job by the end of this year, so that after I graduate, I can visit ISKCON temple everday. Without a job, even my parents will not agree to this. By getting a job, I can visit many famous Krishna temples, also get an idol of Krishna to worship. Most importantly, I can inspire my parents to practice Krishna Conscious life.
I now fear that Krishna is upset with me because I have not utilized this oppurtunity to the best of my ability. I fear that He will stop blessing me.
Will He will take away whatever material and spiritual blessings He has bestowed on me because I didn't make use of it to uplift myself? Am I still on the path of bhakti? Does anybody who has received such blessings, never make mistakes(like procrastinating, ignorance, etc.)? Am I the only one to commit such a mistake? Even if I put in my efforts now, will Krishna help me in achieving my goal?
Devotees please help me get rid of all the fear. Bless me so that I can achieve all the goals.
Replies
Mataji, your relationship with Krishna as a friend is fun and loving. I will also make Krishna my best friend from now. I will live like He is watching me and witnessing my works. I will include Him in all my daily activities. By doing so, I can make progress too in life.
Thank you so much Mataji. I am new to this platform. I have read few comments on other posts by you. You are very kind and merciful to bless us with your thoughtful words.
Please bless me so that I can live a meaningful life like the way you are living.
Hare Krishna
Okay I accidently am clicking the delete button of my reply. Thats fine.. anyhow you got the main idea.
Take care and don't fear. Who am I to bless anyone. Krishna loves you and take care of your mischievous friend properly.
My blessings comes from HIm to you.
Hare Krishna.
First and foremost, please know that Śrī Krishna is not upset with you—He is the most merciful, the most loving, and the most patient. Your sincere desire to improve, your self-awareness, and your longing to serve Him are all signs of genuine bhakti. You are not disqualified from bhakti just because you feel you could have done more. Krishna does not withdraw His blessings. He waits for you, just as a mother waits for her child to take the next step. Your fear itself is proof that you care, an insensitive person wouldn’t even worry about losing Krishna’s grace!
Bhakti is not about perfection, it is about direction. Hearing (śravaṇam) and chanting (kīrtanam) (even if just a little) are already keeping you connected. The fact that you regret procrastination shows your conscience is alive, this is Krishna’s mercy working within you!
Even great devotees struggled, Dhruva Mahārāja initially desired a kingdom, and Arjuna hesitated on the battlefield. Yet, Krishna loved them and guided them.
Focus on the material life too to balance your Bhakti. Small wins matter, even if you learn one new concept a day, Krishna will multiply your efforts.
1 round of japa (but with focus, no distractions).
Read 1 Bhagavad-gītā verse daily (with meaning).
Krishna will help you, trust him. Your sincerity is your qualification. He knows your heart, he will arrange everything if you depend on Him.
Pray like this:
"Dear Krishna, I may have wasted time, but now I surrender. Please give me the strength to use every moment wisely. I want to serve You, my Guru, and the vaishnava devotees. Guide me."
Thank you so much Prabhuji
I'm relieved now. Thank you for enlightening me that Krishna is so patient. I'll pray to Krishna as you have taught. I'll chant with focus and read Bhagavd gita.
Hare Krishna