Hare Krishna,
Pamho,
AgtSP!
What one should do if he/she is extremely hurt by the words and actions of the
devotees? I know one should not blaspheme devotees but it is very painful and
it is very difficult to handle those situations and important thing is I cant avoid
them due to some reasons. Need an advice from devotees.
Your Servant
Aakash
Replies
if someone hurts me I tell that person that it is hurting and request him or her not to continue to do that.
For example, it happens that person takes money but does not give back on time. So I explain that i do not like when she does so, and tell her to give money back on time be it very small amount.
Or usually when my friends comes together they speak in Hindi so I feel left aside so feel little pain. That time I explain my situation and request them to speak in English or else I am upset....
So better to explain and solve the problem.
Your servant,
Well said Dean Prabhu ji . Please accept my honable obeisances .
Dear Aakash Prabhu , be confident that the offender has offended the false ego i.e. AAKASH MENON . Are you absolutely Akash Menon ? No . Then there must be no worry . Just forgive the person since it is also suffering the same false ego . Just think , would it be possible , such offending , in absolute world ? At Home ? No .
Just forgive and tolerate . The person who has offended Aakash Menon (false ego) is actually your dear god brother , part and parcel of God . Be merciful on him ! He is diseased ! And be intelligent that false ego (Aakash Menon)
must not succeed to cover YOU (part and parcel of Krsna !) .
Read Bhagavad Gita again .
Dear devotee, Hare Krsna. It sounds personal and you need to talk with an experienced councilor or another devotee who will listen non judgmentally. It all depends on the severity of the abuse and in some cases it can be very traumatic to the abused devotee. I would suggest you seek help from the regional secretary in your area for further guidance.
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
It is very natural or normal to feel hurt by someone's actions, whether they are devotee or not. We are all practising to become devotees and very few of us would have achieved perfection. Like Srila Prabhupada has said, ISKCON is a hospital where one can expect to find patients (conditioned souls trying to get out of the material world), not souls alraedy purified by bhakti (something to this effect, cant find the exact words).
What we can do in this situation is - 1) Maybe speak with a senior devotee who is senior to both the offender and to you in confidence, mentioning the offense and your hurt. Pls make it clear to the senior taht the purpose is not to criticise, but to try to overcome the hurt and transcend it so that you can progress spiritually. If the senior thinks fit, he will say something to your offender, you do not expect anything to be said in your presence.
2) Dance with your offender during kirtan. I have heard devotees mention in lectures specific to this topic that it works wonders. Krsna has the ability to make you get over the hurt and become normal with the offender again. This will reinforce to you that your purpose of going to the temple is to serve God and not to make friendship or get a good name in the temple.
3) Most importantly, forgive the person in your heart, but learn the lesson. Maybe you have been doing something that is unpalatable to this offender or there is a lesson to be learnt in the entire episode. Better to learn that lesson. It is also very important to forgive the person, regardless of whether he has realised his mistake or has asked for forgiveness or not. It doesnt matter, what he does is his karma, what you do is your karma. It is a good karma to forgive, it also helps you to move on.
4) We have to understand that nobody is perfect. Neither we are perfect nor the other person is perfect. No relationship is perfect because this is the material world. Therefore we have to tolerate. These are lessons that we all have to learn. In fact, we grow spiritually if we tolerate.
I dont know if I have made any sense to you. I hope I have not insulted or hurt you in any way.
Haribol,
Rashmi