Hare Krishna,
I Just follow 4 principles of Iskcon No meat eating,No intoxication etc....Now the problem is in our caste we hardly find veggies n to add to my discomfort my father is against Iskcon people n he never allows to go Iskcon.But our family is pure vegeterian.
I dont chant in front of him n i hardly chant 1 or 2 rounds daily and follow ekadashi atleast once in a month.Now parents are searching a bride for me infact meeting 2 of them tomorrow.I am longing to have a partner who would help me improve in my Krishna consciousness than rather pull me down bcz im a very weak person in mind(get agitated very easily).
So what to ask to girls during meeting and how to ascertain which would be better for Bhakti. N to add one more thing I want a beautiful girl also i know its nectar in beginning but poison at end.
So i m requesting you all devotees(especially Grahastas to give this fallen soul a piece of advice) to help me out so that i can balance both or else if i just run for beauty i dont want to hamper my KC in the long run.
Waiting for ur Replies.............
Replies
thank You for bringing an example of Saint Tukaram's wife. Yes, she was chastely wife. But in the lecture of HH Srila Radhanatha Swami Maharaja one Devotee asked a question: what if one partner struggles hard to worship Krishna but another one always against it? what to do in that situation?
Maharaja told that do what we are doing with you now. Try to teach by your words, examples, qualities. If even thou she/he is not following the way you follow then do not force. as we know from the history Sage Tukaram was a great Devotee while the airplane from Spiritual World came to take him to Goloka, Tukaram called his wife also. But his wife refused saying: "oh, no way? what will happen to my Buffalo? children? who will take care of them?
in this way each personality is responsible for his/her own spiritual progress.
here i do not mean that wife should not obey to her husband. She collects immense power when she is chaste. And chastity means not only to loose devotion to one's husband but to serve husband doing household duties. It is her dharma. To take care of children, to cook, to wash...and everyone should perform his/her own duties rather than other's.
and couples should not think that her/his partner belongs to him/her. But he/she should see that he/she belongs only to Krishna. and i cannot use him/her in my own sense gratification. each of partners should try to serve not to get.
Your servant,
thank You for these points, i hope my friends Devotee girls reading these will become very happy and will have hope.
If we say to a person that he/she is bad, bad, bad as a result he/she will become like that.
Words have a big affect to ones consciousness. Words can help someone to progress or to words can also kill. as like those Brahmanas killed the King Venu saying only one word.
Thank You for inspiration and respect to Matajis!"
Mataji, I am sincerely sorry if I offend you or any women here. We have to understand the nature of prison our spirit soul is entangled in.
It is actually very easy for a woman to go back to Godhead, even if she hates Krishna (case in point Tukaram's wife)
If you are successful in finding a devotee of the Lord and serve him, so he may serve Krishna better... Serving a devotee is more pleasing to Krishna than someone serving Him, because Krishna Loves His Devotees.
Once Tukaram's wife takes a slipper to hit Krishna, Yet Krishna Loved her very much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7Dk1aVaI24
Tukaram's wife one day taking food with her, looking for her husband on the top of the hill... Krishna appears to her.
http://youtu.be/mUn2p3uM2_0?t=28m30s
Often pushed by his male disciples to minimize ISKCON women spiritual position, Srila Prabhupada reacted for example in the following way:
* Srila Prabhupada: '"You dance, she dances. You sing, she sings, you cook, she cooks, there is no difference. You are the same in Krishna's eyes."
In the following article, it is well explained that devotee women performed wonderful tasks and took many responsibilities well.
http://www.harekrsna.org/gurupoison/support/women.htm
It is clear that instructions given in the scriptures are general instructions for our guidance and benefit, so that
we can understand why things are happening in this world but devotees can only be appreciated by their qualifications and actions.
Hari Bol,
thank You for these points, i hope my friends Devotee girls reading these will become very happy and will have hope.
If we say to a person that he/she is bad, bad, bad as a result he/she will become like that.
Words have a big affect to ones consciousness. Words can help someone to progress or to words can also kill. as like those Brahmanas killed the King Venu saying only one word.
Thank You for inspiration and respect to Matajis!
Your servant,
Avoid pretentious, carrying a mala chanting while doing other activities, including talking about the neighbor. Sincere devotee girls I believe wake up at 4 am and finishes her 16 rounds with attention.
Watch for intensity of her kirtan or japa.
Again you have to question yourself, why will such a good devotee wanna marry me?
So, you become the sincere devotee a real devotee girl would be interested in marrying/who's parent may want her to marry...
Hope I have not offended anyone... Haribol and Good luck.
Yes, unfortunately these days we all want to control others, if others do not obey to us, at least our family members. We want to be Krishna All controller. Because of that still crawling in this material world.
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Man thinks that he is controlling a woman, but in the reality woman seems that she is obedient and by being so she makes a man to work for her desires. Just woman say something in a right way and man fulfills that. In this way man even does not know that he is living like a servant. It is the formula of material existence.
Man who can not control his senses becomes a godasa. Servant of his senses. In this way he becomes weak.
But nature of a woman is to be protected. But she sees that man is weak to protect her, she starts to protect her herself.
In this way we can see that most of women nowadays have the qualities of a men. They do mens' job, they are not submissive...
But there is a hope that at least in ISKCON Prabhus will become a goswamis. Practicing strict Brahmachari life until 25 years old and then only talk about family responsibilities.
Your servant,
Is it that the if a woman questions the man then she is considered unsubmissive?
I don't know about this few questions that will help you decide on your 'life' partner.
You make it sound like a prison sentence. Life imprisonment with a spouse.
I was happy with my spouse and recomend marriage.
You will get what you deserve. Hare Krsna
i feel that it is like a business, or keeping wife as an animal. as if wife serves her husband for ornaments and wealth. yes, here any Indian girl would not say these things because they are educated, and trained as a chaste girls, but i am so that with cruel tongue.
In His seminars about grihastha ashram and sadhana His Holiness Bhakti Vigyana Maharaja told that we think that women are weak, materialistic, in ignorance, do not have intelligence... but in the reality it is not like that. Their minds', body's, intelligence's construction is different and very amazing. they are more tolerant, and attentive, and do not think that they need those wealth.
Also in His lecture Audarya Dhama Prabhu says that all women are good by nature. Just we make them bad, this age make them bad. But all of them can be changed. It is easy to change a women just we need to know they ways.
Bodily beauty lasts only for 3-8 years then finished! In the reality beautiful woman is not who has cute eyes and smooth skin but that who is happy in life. This one was from the lecture of His Holiness Bhakti Vidya Purna Swami Maharaja.
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anyways think what you think of girls, as servants of Krishna we will try to feel ourselves as souls not these bodies.
Your servant,
Hare Krsna,
Please accept my excuses for any aparadh committed through circumstances. I am a fallen soul trying to follow in the footsteps of his divine grace A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada and other acaryas in the disciplic succession. However, I am not as good as them in presenting such topics. I was also trying to help that devotee understand what are the recommended principles, especially for grihastha life.
Nevertheless, it is clearly acknowledged in the scriptures that there are many elevated women, who are pure in character, knowledgeable about scriptures, devoted to Krsna, who will not be satisfied with just ornaments and wealth. No this sentence was just to give a recommendation to avoid neglecting women, to be attentive to their wishes and to understand difference in nature. I hope the quotes below will give a more clear understanding.
From the Srimad Bhagavatam, 4th Canto:
"O son of Prtha, those who take shelter of Me, though they be of lower birth--women, vaisyas [merchants], as well as sudras [workers]--can approach the supreme destination."
"The wives of the demigods said: All glories to Queen Arci! We can see that this queen of the great King Prthu, the emperor of all the kings of the world, has served her husband with mind, speech and body exactly as the goddess of fortune serves the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Yajnesa, or Visnu.
Although she was not accustomed to such difficulties, Queen Arci followed her husband in the regulative principles of living in the forest like great sages. She lay down on the ground and ate only fruits, flowers
and leaves, and because she was not fit for these activities, she became frail and thin. Yet because of the pleasure she derived in serving her husband, she did not feel any difficulties."
From Teachings of Queen Kunti:
"Women in general are unable to speculate like philosophers, but they are blessed by the Lord because
they believe at once in the superiority and almightiness of the Lord, and thus they offer obeisances without reservation. The Lord is so kind that He does not show special favor only to one who is a great
philosopher. He knows the sincerity of purpose. For this reason only, women generally assemble in great number in any sort of religious function. In every country and in every sect of religion it appears that the women are more interested than the men. This simplicity of acceptance of the Lord's authority is more effective than showy insincere religious fervor."
From the Srimad Bhagavatam, 4th Canto:
"When a person is devoid of devotional service, or visnu-bhakti, he takes to many sinful activities. King Puranjana left home, neglected his own wife and engaged himself in killing animals. This is the position of
all materialistic men. They do not care for a married chaste wife. They take the wife only as an instrument for sense enjoyment, not as a means for devotional service. To have unrestricted sex life, the karmis work
very hard. They have concluded that the best course is to have sex with any woman and simply pay the price for her, as though she were a mercantile commodity. Thus they engage their energy in working very hard
for such material acquisitions. Such materialistic people have lost their good intelligence. They must search out their intelligence within the heart. A person who does not have a chaste wife accepted by religious
principles always has a bewildered intelligence.
The wife of King Puranjana was lying on the ground because she was neglected by her husband. Actually the woman must always be protected by her husband. We always speak of the goddess of fortune as being placed on the chest of Narayana. In other words, the wife must remain embraced by her husband. Thus she becomes beloved and well protected. Just as one saves his money and places it under his own personal protection, one
should similarly protect his wife by his own personal supervision. Just as intelligence is always within the heart, so a beloved chaste wife should always have her place on the chest of a good husband. This is the
proper relationship between husband and wife. A wife is therefore called ardhangani, or half of the body. One cannot remain with only one leg, one hand or only one side of the body. He must have two sides. Similarly,
according to nature's way, husband and wife should live together. In the lower species of life, among birds and animals, it is seen that by nature's arrangement the husband and wife live together. It is similarly
ideal in human life for the husband and wife to live together. The home should be a place for devotional service, and the wife should be chaste and accepted by a ritualistic ceremony. In this way one can become happy at home."
From Teachings of Queen Kunti:
"Kunti was the daughter of the Vrsni family and the wife and mother of the Pandava family. Generally a woman has affection for both her father's family and husband's family, and therefore Kunti prays to
Krsna, "I am a woman, and women are generally attached to their families, so kindly cut off my attachment so that I may be thoroughly attached to You. Without You, both families are zero. I am falsely
attached to these families, but my real purpose in life is to be attached to You." This is bhakti.
Bhakti involves becoming free from the attachments of this material
world and becoming attached instead to Krsna. One cannot become
unattached, for one must be attached to something, but in order to
become attached to Krsna or enter into the devotional service of the
Lord, one has to become detached from material affection."
Hari Bol,
Just like you are asking what to ask girls... girls are asking what to tell a boy when he asks....
I bet there is a book out there on how to answer tricky questions asked by devotees (Sadhakas)
Beauty is not a bad thing. The question is not beautiful and non devotee vs not so beautiful and devotee.
At least in India, if the mother is a devotee, she lets her husband go on Sankirtana, encourages him in Krishna consciousness and is in complete submission (means wants to be a queen in the house not the king or the one who wears pants in the house). Look for only one head in her family, not two, head being the father.
Usually, the daughter also has similar nature as mother. More and more dont these days....
Just be honest with her. Tell her I am looking for someone who can serve me, so I can serve Krishna better.
Wake up at 4 am and chant your 16 rounds. Go on nagar sankirtana every day... I guarantee you, you will find a nice devotee girl. A fake one (90% of the prospective so called devotee girls) will be scared of you. Most so called devotee girls/women (secretly) want her husband to serve her and not Krishna... you need to hear it from Tulasi Devi, the truth about women.
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