Hare Krishna prabhuji/matajiDandvat pranamI am in a relationship with a girl , but she is not a devotee yet so sometimes i face problems in my spiritual life . Is it right to stop contact with her knowing that there is suffering after getting apart . But she will not understand the reason why i am doing so and she will keep waiting ...What to doPlease save my bhaktiPlease forgive for such questioning
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According to me, it is not right to leave away people who have believed in us. if she is not a Krishna devotee, please try to introduce her to this beautiful life.i do know when we try to introduce or say something about spirituality people may not accept, even it is dearest one.but it is our responsibility and as well as duty to show the right path to at least our people first. who knows may be even Krishna itself want her to be in his way under your guidance, support and encouragement. may be! Krishna wants you to be that lamp which shows the way to walk on way called krishna bhakthi. make her understand what is krishna and why krishna... then surely she will like to walk on this way and opinion, confidence and respect towards you will be increased. it is always good and luckiest part of our life that if we are able to encourage someone and show them the right way that is krishna who is the supreme personality of godhead.
this is my opinion about your question .. hopefully i hve answered u correctly. if any queries please do reply..
Hare Krishna
Thank you very much
Your replies are very appreciated
The only problem i face is i am not able to do my sadhana strictly .although she has never opposed me about my bhakti , but I am so attached with her .
Please help
YOu have given the problem and solution both in this post. It is the weakness of your heart that prevents you to do your sadhana, not her fault. So what you need to do is - be strong in your sadhana. How to do this? By association, strong resolve to be a good example of devotee in front of her, so that you can make her a devotee later on. The first thing to do is - be firm on your chanting - come what may. The rest will follow.
Regarding attachment to her - why so much attachment? She is after all human, with full of faults (I know you cant see faults now, wait till marriage, then you will see only faults). Please consider her as a soul entrusted to you by GOd to be her true well wisher, by showing the way back home, back to Godhead.
PLs pray prabhu, while chanting, that Radha-Krsna always remain more important to you than any relation in the world. Pray in helpless condition, you will definitely get the result.
SB 3.31.31 — For the sake of the body, which is a source of constant trouble to him and which follows him because he is bound by ties of ignorance and fruitive activities, he performs various actions which cause him to be subjected to repeated birth and death.
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SB 3.31.32 — If, therefore, the living entity again associates with the path of unrighteousness, influenced by sensually minded people engaged in the pursuit of sexual enjoyment and the gratification of the palate, he again goes to hell as before.
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SB 3.31.33 — He becomes devoid of truthfulness, cleanliness, mercy, gravity, spiritual intelligence, shyness, austerity, fame, forgiveness, control of the mind, control of the senses, fortune and all such opportunities.
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SB 3.31.34 — One should not associate with a coarse fool who is bereft of the knowledge of self-realization and who is no more than a dancing dog in the hands of a woman.
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SB 3.31.35 — The infatuation and bondage which accrue to a man from attachment to any other object is not as complete as that resulting from attachment to a woman or to the fellowship of men who are fond of women.
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SB 3.31.36 — At the sight of his own daughter, Brahmā was bewildered by her charms and shamelessly ran up to her in the form of a stag when she took the form of a hind.
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SB 3.31.37 — Amongst all kinds of living entities begotten by Brahmā, namely men, demigods and animals, none but the sage Nārāyaṇa is immune to the attraction of māyā in the form of woman.
( That's why even acarya is a fool if he thinks he is immune from even one second of such association )*
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SB 3.31.38 — Just try to understand the mighty strength of My māyā in the shape of woman, who by the mere movement of her eyebrows can keep even the greatest conquerors of the world under her grip.
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SB 3.31.39 — One who aspires to reach the culmination of yoga and has realized his self by rendering service unto Me should never associate with a woman, for such a woman is declared in the scripture to be the gateway to hell for the advancing devotee.
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SB 3.31.40 — The woman, created by the Lord, is the representation of māyā, and one who associates with such māyā by accepting services must certainly know that this is the way of death, just like a blind well covered with grass.
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SB 3.31.41 — A living entity who, as a result of attachment to a woman in his previous life, has been endowed with the form of a woman, foolishly looks upon māyā in the form of a man, her husband, as the bestower of wealth, progeny, house and other material assets.
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SB 3.31.42 — A woman, therefore, should consider her husband, her house and her children to be the arrangement of the external energy of the Lord for her death, just as the sweet singing of the hunter is death for the deer.
( As the form of a woman is the illusion for the man, similar to that, form of a man is illusion for a woman )*
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SB 3.31.43 — Due to his particular type of body, the materialistic living entity wanders from one planet to another, following fruitive activities. In this way, he involves himself in fruitive activities and enjoys the result incessantly.
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SB 3.31.44 — In this way the living entity gets a suitable body with a material mind and senses, according to his fruitive activities. When the reaction of his particular activity comes to an end, that end is called death, and when a particular type of reaction begins, that beginning is called birth.
Can you specify what exactly you face, because you mentioned sometimes....
See, if she is not a devotee, then you have to e extremely patient with her. She is a future devotee, only through your sadhana can you make her a devotee. Now what does sadhana mean here? It means exceptional character and behavior. This is possible only when one gets into devotion. All 26 good qualities of a devotee are manifested when we chant properly and follow 4 regulative principles properly.
You have to compromise if you want to continue with her - you can go to her temple sometimes, with the understanding that she will come with you to your temple programs. If she is not religious minded at all, then also ok. She will take you to malls, beaches, right? Go - not an issue. Movies - I wouldn't go, depends on you. Eating out - if there is a Govinda's in your city, problem solved. You can go there most of the time. Else, you can make sure you go to only veg restaurants, that too on exception basis.
Be steady in your chanting, there should be no compromise on that. Follow 4 regulative principles to the extent possible. I see a problem only with onion garlic. Rest should not be an issue. If it is, pls discuss. The rest will follow.
Replies
hare Krishna prabhuji,
According to me, it is not right to leave away people who have believed in us. if she is not a Krishna devotee, please try to introduce her to this beautiful life.i do know when we try to introduce or say something about spirituality people may not accept, even it is dearest one.but it is our responsibility and as well as duty to show the right path to at least our people first. who knows may be even Krishna itself want her to be in his way under your guidance, support and encouragement. may be! Krishna wants you to be that lamp which shows the way to walk on way called krishna bhakthi. make her understand what is krishna and why krishna... then surely she will like to walk on this way and opinion, confidence and respect towards you will be increased. it is always good and luckiest part of our life that if we are able to encourage someone and show them the right way that is krishna who is the supreme personality of godhead.
this is my opinion about your question .. hopefully i hve answered u correctly. if any queries please do reply..
--------------------------------------------------------HARE KRISHNA-------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you very much
Your replies are very appreciated
The only problem i face is i am not able to do my sadhana strictly .although she has never opposed me about my bhakti , but I am so attached with her .
Please help
Thank you very much
Hare Krsna PRabhuji,
PAMHO.
Thank you for being so honest.
YOu have given the problem and solution both in this post. It is the weakness of your heart that prevents you to do your sadhana, not her fault. So what you need to do is - be strong in your sadhana. How to do this? By association, strong resolve to be a good example of devotee in front of her, so that you can make her a devotee later on. The first thing to do is - be firm on your chanting - come what may. The rest will follow.
Regarding attachment to her - why so much attachment? She is after all human, with full of faults (I know you cant see faults now, wait till marriage, then you will see only faults). Please consider her as a soul entrusted to you by GOd to be her true well wisher, by showing the way back home, back to Godhead.
PLs pray prabhu, while chanting, that Radha-Krsna always remain more important to you than any relation in the world. Pray in helpless condition, you will definitely get the result.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
SB 3.31.31 — For the sake of the body, which is a source of constant trouble to him and which follows him because he is bound by ties of ignorance and fruitive activities, he performs various actions which cause him to be subjected to repeated birth and death.
.
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
Can you specify what exactly you face, because you mentioned sometimes....
See, if she is not a devotee, then you have to e extremely patient with her. She is a future devotee, only through your sadhana can you make her a devotee. Now what does sadhana mean here? It means exceptional character and behavior. This is possible only when one gets into devotion. All 26 good qualities of a devotee are manifested when we chant properly and follow 4 regulative principles properly.
You have to compromise if you want to continue with her - you can go to her temple sometimes, with the understanding that she will come with you to your temple programs. If she is not religious minded at all, then also ok. She will take you to malls, beaches, right? Go - not an issue. Movies - I wouldn't go, depends on you. Eating out - if there is a Govinda's in your city, problem solved. You can go there most of the time. Else, you can make sure you go to only veg restaurants, that too on exception basis.
Be steady in your chanting, there should be no compromise on that. Follow 4 regulative principles to the extent possible. I see a problem only with onion garlic. Rest should not be an issue. If it is, pls discuss. The rest will follow.
Best of luck prabhuji,
Haribol,
YOur servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD