As we all know that lust is an anartha and is present in practically everyone in different proportions the same case is with me. what I feel about myself is that I am very much lusty but on other side I am utter sure that it too has a solution.Putting our problem openly really needs courage and hope for a fixed solution.
I lives in a private hostel, doing my chemical engg. from a well known & prestigious colg.I chant 16 rounds on daily basis. I have my personal life going good(so-called), also have many friends in girls but absolutely no girlfriends since I belong to vaishnava family and know that it is no-doubt a futile attempt for remaining or becoming happy & always ends up with frustration.But due to excessive lust factor acting within,forces me to think for unnecessary things, matters and issues. Due to turbulence in mind these wrong and dirty things are again and again agitating me throughout from within to without .Now you can also imagine what my situation actually is !!
So, being a aspiring servant of your lotus this most fallen and downtrodden soul begs you for the perfect solution.please help me...
Get married. Just get married to a devotee (90% of them pretentious, so watch out for the women that approach Iskcon or what ever devotee org. in search of qualified boys... they may be chanting 16 rounds, once married, its all history)
Your parents may insist that you finish your studies first. What do they know? They themselves probably got married at age 16 and unfairly advise you to get married at age 30.
Just tell them that it is in their best interest. Ask them which is better, you get married now and live a grihasta life or fall down and sleep with the prostitutes.. that will do the trick!!!
Agreed with Shravan Prabhu, better than fall down is to get married, and regarding marriage leave it on God through parents, don't put ur option Devotee/Non-Devotee. Because it may happen a devotee may change after marriage and you can have a hard time adjust with her But it can happen a non-devotee girl may become a devotee being living with you. Always ask question yourself were we a devotee before coming to KC, we changed by the association and Krishna's mercy, so let Krishna's mercy flow in marriage also let him choose a girl through the instrument of parents for us, because if we now fight with everyone to marry a devotee and then after marriage if things go wrong and then we will have to repent for our own decision
Because we set very standard if teh girl is practicing KC and she may not come up to our expectation , But we will not have any expectation from a non-devotee, If Krishna want she may become a devotee else we may suffer, lets be an instrument in Krishna's hand.
your aspiring servant
prabhu ji i also fight with the same situation,, my mind also thiinks about bad things,... in my mind siren blow at that time that no pls dont do this... but i fail most of the time.... but realy after doing i even cry because i dont want this...
to get out of this i started 40 day plan... in this plan what i do...first of all i want to share what is 40 day plan.. first of all to got out of my problems i worship lord hanuman ji,,, 40 days without doing wrong keep my senses in control then hanuman ji give me a way to krishna...now these 40 days i do for krishna..... what to do...
1-EXAMINE YOURSELF:- what things make u dirty .. means every thing has a source... like when we see any newspaper there are some page like about bollywood ,fashion when we see these all a bad thinking starts... a day always start with newspaper thats why i start with news paper.... after that...try to examine your daily activities ..
if u watch more TV what u see ..if bad hen avoid it for krishna... more internet for what purpose if wrong avoid it...
like that.. i want to say that catch the roots...
2)- CHANTING:- do chanting..at that time which u save ... or read books... of prabhu pad ji..
after that prabhu ji slowlly slowly you very bad .. when even you try to indulge in bad things,... but i definately sure after 40 days u got confidence...
PRECAUTIONS.:- first of all it when u start this your mind always ask you to not do this... but keep in mind that this thing you do for krishna... once you do this confidence builts up slowly slowly...
NOW after 40 days your mind again want to do bad things ...but dont loose the confidence you gain CHANT more and more that time... helps you... but remember you do it for KRISHNA ...
in that way i control my self.. after that you hear the SIREN that there is danger.. and confidence helps you to got out from there.....KRISHNA HELPS YOU..
Keep on reaffirming to yourself You are a soul not this Body..krishna is the only Purusa everything else is Prakriti ...That means everything is energy ...It is a duality of Man-woman but in actuality duality is in the exterior(body) not the interior ..Chant so much that the mind gets empty by itself...try being alone or with devotees..better alone than bad company..boy or a girl not a difference just the outer cover is different remember
Hare Krishna dear Devotees, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
As Devotees already told association between opposite sex should according to VAishnava etiquette.
Lust can attacked even Lord Shiva when he saw Mohini Murti. But of course Mohini Murti of the Lord was not from His external energy but from His internal energy. But even though Krishna wanted to show to us that no matter how great you are one can fall down due to lust. About this we can find in the 8th Canto of Srimad Bhagavatam.
Kunti Mata had a blessings that she never gets old. Because of that till death her body was young and beautiful. Once Krishna asked Yudhishtira Maharaj that how he acts when he sees his mother. Maharaja says that I feel lust by seeing her. And Krishna asks then what you do in that situation. Yudhishthira Maharaj says that "nothing". He just controls his senses.
In this way it is not so easy thing to become free from lust. Even if a person accepts sannyasa he is careful of free association with women.
To become a pure soul is a hard work. By understanding this we should be determinate and control our senses.
Mind is higher than the senses. Intelligence is higher than mind. And by making our intelligence strong we will be able to control our senses. And Krishna says that if one serves Me with devotion and love I will give to him intelligence so that he would come to Me. And also He say I declare that whoever reads this Bhagavad Gita is considered as he is serving to Me with intelligence.
In this way reading and understanding books like Srimad Bhagavatam and Bhagavad Gita will make us strong.
ASSOCIATION of Devotees!!!
Proper SADHANA. Which means waking up in Brahma Muhurta, chanting rounds....sleeping on time...
Food: BLACK PEPPER: dries the liquid in the body because of that decreases lusty desires. Yogis who keep celibacy eat daily 7-9 black peppers. But not red chillis.
So many things to say but also we require determination to follow these all.
Q. WHAT IS LUST?
Q. WHAT IS THE POWER OF INFLUENCE ?
Q. WHAT IS SEX DESIRE ?
Q. HOW CAN ONE GAIN SPIRITUAL STRENGTH ?
Q. WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CONTROL ?
Q. WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF ENGAGING THE MIND AND INTELLIGENCE IN THE SERVICE OF THE SUPREME LORD KRISHNA ? part 1.
THE MIND. PART 1.
Q. HOW CAN ONE ATTAIN PEACE OF MIND ?
Prabhu Rakesh Roshan and Prabhu Sudipta Roy have given very good advice on recommended ways to reduce these lusty tendencies. His divine grace, A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, has given many explanations on the causes of lust and how to reduce it and overcome it. The quotes below should help you understand but even more important is you must keep the faith in the words, explanations of acharyas, scriptures even if you fail to control these powerful urges of the senses. You may fail several times but your sincerity and faith will eventually help you progress. As both Prabhu Rakesh and Prabhu Sudipta mentioned, "today's society is made such a way that it provokes lust in everyone's heart". Very well said indeed, newspapers, cinema, Internet, workplace, cities, women are often advertised in the wrong ways, I mean in ways which will naturally arouse lust within men. Association and service to devotees and trying to love Krsna and appreciate his beauty will also help reduce this lust.
"When we forget our real constitutional position and wish to enjoy the material resources, our material desires manifest, and we associate with varieties of material enjoyment. As soon as the concoctions of material enjoyment are there, because of our association we create a sort of lust or eagerness to enjoy them, and when that false enjoyment does not actually make us happy, we create another illusion, known as anger, and by the manifestation of anger, the illusion becomes stronger. When we are illusioned in this way, forgetfulness of our relationship with Krsna follows, and by thus losing Krsna consciousness, our real intelligence is defeated. In this way we become entangled in this material world."
"By association with devotees, dirty things within the heart of a materialistic man are gradually washed away by the grace of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. As silver becomes shiny by being polished, the heart of a materialistic person is cleansed of lusty desires by the good association of devotees. Actually the living being has no connection with this material enjoyment nor with lusty desires. He is simply imagining or dreaming while asleep."
"The Vedic system of four varnas and four asramas is very scientific, and its entire purpose is to enable one to control the senses. Before entering household life (grhastha-asrama), a student is fully trained to become jitendriya, a conqueror of the senses. Such a mature student is allowed to become a householder, and because he was first trained in conquering his senses, he retires from household life and becomes vanaprastha as soon as the strong waves of youthful life are past and he reaches the verge of old age at fifty years or slightly more. Then, after being further trained, he accepts sannyasa. He is then a fully learned and renounced person who can move anywhere and everywhere without fear of being captivated by material desires. The senses are considered very powerful enemies. As a king in a strong fortress can conquer powerful enemies, so a householder in grhastha-asrama, household life, can conquer
the lusty desires of youth and be very secure when he takes vanaprastha and sannyasa."
"As stated in Bhagavad-gita, sex life which is not against religious principles is Krsna Himself, and according to religious principles, when one wants to beget a child he must perform the garbhadhana-samskara before having sex. The mental state of the father and mother before sex will certainly affect the mentality of the child to be begotten. A child who is begotten out of lust may not turn out as the parents desire."
"Similarly, a devotee with intelligence plans so many things for the service of the Lord in Krsna consciousness
that stagnant material desires become overflooded by the desire to serve the Lord. As confirmed by Yamunacarya, since he has been engaged in the service of the lotus feet of the Lord, there is always a current of newer
and newer desires flowing to serve the Lord, so much so that the stagnant desire of sex life becomes very insignificant."
"The beginning of devotional service starts from the point when one is freed from at least two forms of material modes, namely the mode of passion and the mode of ignorance. The result is exhibited by the signs of being freed from kama (lust) and lobha (covetousness). That is to say, one must be freed from the desires for sense satisfaction and avarice for sense gratification."
Hare Krishna Prabhuji. Dandavat Pranam. All glories to Srila Prabhupada
Mind has tendency to direct the consciousness to those things from which it previously got some pleasurable experience, as a conscious being by nature pleasure seeking so when we don't have any higher taste mind always brings the alternatives which we had experienced in past. So the solution is engaging mind in Krishna activity and withdrawing from material activity. Without having proper engagement mind always will bring the past sensual experiences. So how to do that ?
First we have to increase sadhu-sanga or association of devotees and decrease asad-sanga or association of woman and people who associate with woman or talks about woman. we should be very careful to whom we are associating, where there is talks of opposite sex be sure we are going to fall down as mind contemplate on those things because past memory remind us that in past we got some pleasure out of that so we have to replace the association with devotees where there will be only Krishna-katha and it is not just one-two days association we have to do it regularly and then when we will not have the opportunity of devotee's association we have to forcefully engage our mind in reading SP's books scrutinizely and have to hear lectures , then Chanting is also there.
Also we have to give attention to the food which we are taking, food effects mind, pure food results in pure mind, pure mind results in pure thought and pure thought results in pure action and pure action results in pure experience which inturn creates blissful memory and then the cycle continues So we have to replace the cycle of material consciousness that we have acquired in the assoctian of material atmosphere with a Krishna conscious atmosphere, then only lust will go gradually But we have to keep trying and working hard on it.
Todays society is made such a way that it provokes lust in everyone's heart, so as long we don't able to see the world through knowledge of shastra and ultimately through love for Krishna, lust is not going to go.
Hope this will help
Your aspiring Servant
Hare Krsna pr,
The big problem is that you are staying alone and without association but what can be done.. The situation demands this.
I have answered a similar question before, I am putting the same answer here. It should help...
1.Please hear lectures of HHRNSM on lust and also hear kirtans of Naru Gopal pr, HHRNSM which will pacify your mind .. It will bring down your agitated mind from passion to goodness.
2. Please take a chillly cold water bath,early in the morning and wear the Vaishnava loin cloth so that mind does not get agitated. ALSO , WHEN YOU STUDY, DON'T STUDY IN SLEEPING POSTURE, STUDY IN SITTING POSTURE, MIND WON'T JUMP AWAY IF YOU ARE IN AN AUSTERE POSITION.
3. CHANT DESPERATELY , CRYING FOR KRSNA, GO TO A SECLUDED PLACE AND SHOUT LOUDLY " HARE KRSNA HARE KRSNA KRSNA KRSNA HARE HARE, HARE RAMA HARE RAMA, RAMA RAMA HARE HARE" whenever you are feeling disturbing thoughts.THIS IS a VERY IMPORTANT STEP.
4. When you have the opportunity to enjoy any object of gratification, GET OUT , GET OUT OF THAT PLACE, IMMEDIATELY. AS SOON AS YOU SEE A SENSE OBJECT AND YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO ENJOY IT, A SIREN SHOULD RING IN THE BACK GROUND" DANGER, DANGER, DANGER" AND GET OUT.. GET OUT NOW.. ELSE FALL DOWN .. FALL DOWN FOR SURE.
5. Keep a friend with you EVERY TIME YOU USE INTERNET, Who will correct you if you do wrong...
6.DO NOT STOP CHANTING COME WHAT MAY. CHANT YOUR ROUNDS EVERY DAY WITHOUT FAIL
7. CHANT IN ASSOCIATION OF DEVOTEES. CHANT SINCERELY, ATTENTIVELY,HELPLESSLY LOUDLY WITHOUT OFFENSES WITH FULL CONCENTRATION and THEN YOU WILL GET SUCH TASTE IN CHANTING THAT ALL MATERIAL THINGS WILL BECOME INSIGNIFICANT.
8. ONCE YOU GET THAT HIGHER TASTE OF CHANTING, ALL MATERIAL PLEASURES WILL BECOME INSIGINIFICANT AND THEN YOUR LIFE WILL BECOME SUBLIME. YOU WILL HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR SENSES AND YOU WILL GUIDE UR SENSES AND THEY WON'T GUIDE YOU. :)
9. AVOID COMPANY OF PEOPLE WHO TALK USELESS THINGS..
Hear SOME KIRTANS , HEARING WHICH YOUR MIND WILL GET A HIGHER TASTE AND DESIRE FOR LOWER THINGS WILL GO AWAY..
When you are alone, read some books of Prabhupada, that may help.
KRSNA is there for all of us to help, do not worry. CHANTING IS EXTREMELY POWERFUL, if we CHANT SINCERELY, ATTENTIVELY, WITHOUT OFFENSES AND WITH RIGHT ATTITUDE. KRSNA will give us the higher taste in CHANTING and gradually we will be able to overcome lust. IT IS NOT EASY FOR SURE, NOT EASY , VERY DIFFICULT BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
PLEASE DO NOT WORRY, IT WILL TAKE TIME.. IT WILL GO AWAY..