Hare Krsna! Glories to Srila Prabhupada Ji. I am an educated engineer in my 30s. My new manager at work constantly belittles and insults me. I am polite and nice and he walks all over me. I grew up with the mindset that you can kill them with your kindness however I feel that I should stand-up for myself. This will involve me being rude to him to drive the point home. Is that wrong according to Lord Sri Krsna / Bhagavat Gita? I was reading Bhagavat Gita As It Is by Srila Prabhupada ji and in chapter 1verse 32-35, it says the following:"As a natural devotee of the Lord, Arjuna did not like to retaliate against his miscreant cousins and brothers, but it was the Lord's plan that they should all be killed. The devotee of the Lord does not retaliate against the wrongdoer, but the Lord does not tolerate any mischief done to the devotee by the miscreants."The verse says that the devotee should not retaliate. So should I continue being polite to my manager even though he is rude? I really need help. Hare Krsna!!
You need to be a member of ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT to add comments!
I see the date of the first post, but since the topic is active recently, I just wanted to remind that in IT, you can easily change your job every year and get better and better terms because your value as a specialist grows, especially when you start your career. Just continue to search for a new job while working on the current one, go to interviews. Sooner or later you'll get the better offer. For example, with a better salary and team which works efficiently. Many IT businesses now having remote job format, a perfect option for a devotee - to just do the things he gets paid for, without listening to all this office asat-sanga and other nonsense.
Hari Bol. I apologize for the tardiness in my response however I am deeply touched with the responses I received. I actually resolved it with him in a polite manner. For now, we are on the same page and that has helped.
Do not let the bad win, that was Krishna's Message, do not tolerate injustice, that is the real message. So what you can do is, just have a one to one with this manager and just tell him in simple words that you are being rude to me and disrespecting me and I DO NOT LIKE THAT.This drives the point home, that you will not tolerate this non-sense.
Hare Krishna Prabhuji Dandvat. I would try to help you out from this situation, since you are in Krishna Consciousness and have a great respect & regards in every living beings. Arjun was also a K.C. warrior but when he lost his sense after seing his relatives & gurujan in battle field then Lord Krishna delivered his one of the significant message in the battlefield of Mahabharat. When adharm goes on high and dharm go down then we need to be violent to save the dharma and the same concept apply on us as well. So you decide if your manger is not stopping insulting you again & again then take a action with a very decent way to keep Lord Krishna image in your mind.
From what I can make out, your boss is a bully and for some reason he has picked on you. The more you tolerate a bully, the more he bullies you. He will not learn the subtle lessons you are trying to teach him currently.
Srila Prabhupada also says that one must tolerate such that it doesnt disturb one's peace of mind. If you tolerate and it affects your peace of mind and consequently your sadhana, then its not worth it.
You have to be quietly assertive with bullies. You do not need to be insulting or rude, you have to draw a line with them that this far and no further. And how do you do that ? By being confident, doing your job diligently and making relations with his higher ups. The informal aspect is always more important than the formal aspect in any office, therefore you must make yourself stronger informally. This is without doing any politics, simply by winning a popularity contest (so to say) and showing him that everyone except him likes and values you.
If it doesn lead to a showdown, you dont een need to raise your voice, simply state facts on his face saying what he has been upto and how it is hurting you and the organisation.
All this while, you have to haev firm unflinching faith on the lord, be praying internally to Krsna, chanting constantly internally. He will surely guide you at every step. These are just tests that God gives us on our path of spirituality so taht we may judge how far we have progressed.
I have faced a lot of things in my office - therefore telling you from my experience.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Rashmi
Rishi Nayyar > Radha Rasamayi DDFebruary 20, 2023 at 7:57am
Hare krishna mataji,
Does this also apply for irrational roomates in hostel. Also, should we confront them or just get away from the situation if we have the option.🙏
You shouldn't have to put up with the insults. Do not retaliate but let him know in comfortable words how you feel about things. He should know that his insults are causing you pain. Let him know. If that doesn't work, then you should let someone who is above the manager know. By doing this you would be handling the problem maturely and professionally.
Replies
I see the date of the first post, but since the topic is active recently, I just wanted to remind that in IT, you can easily change your job every year and get better and better terms because your value as a specialist grows, especially when you start your career. Just continue to search for a new job while working on the current one, go to interviews. Sooner or later you'll get the better offer. For example, with a better salary and team which works efficiently. Many IT businesses now having remote job format, a perfect option for a devotee - to just do the things he gets paid for, without listening to all this office asat-sanga and other nonsense.
Hari Bol. I apologize for the tardiness in my response however I am deeply touched with the responses I received. I actually resolved it with him in a polite manner. For now, we are on the same page and that has helped.
Thank you all. Hare Krishna!
Radhey Shyam,
Do not let the bad win, that was Krishna's Message, do not tolerate injustice, that is the real message. So what you can do is, just have a one to one with this manager and just tell him in simple words that you are being rude to me and disrespecting me and I DO NOT LIKE THAT.This drives the point home, that you will not tolerate this non-sense.
Hare Krishna Prabhuji Dandvat. I would try to help you out from this situation, since you are in Krishna Consciousness and have a great respect & regards in every living beings. Arjun was also a K.C. warrior but when he lost his sense after seing his relatives & gurujan in battle field then Lord Krishna delivered his one of the significant message in the battlefield of Mahabharat. When adharm goes on high and dharm go down then we need to be violent to save the dharma and the same concept apply on us as well. So you decide if your manger is not stopping insulting you again & again then take a action with a very decent way to keep Lord Krishna image in your mind.
Hare Krnsa Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
From what I can make out, your boss is a bully and for some reason he has picked on you. The more you tolerate a bully, the more he bullies you. He will not learn the subtle lessons you are trying to teach him currently.
Srila Prabhupada also says that one must tolerate such that it doesnt disturb one's peace of mind. If you tolerate and it affects your peace of mind and consequently your sadhana, then its not worth it.
You have to be quietly assertive with bullies. You do not need to be insulting or rude, you have to draw a line with them that this far and no further. And how do you do that ? By being confident, doing your job diligently and making relations with his higher ups. The informal aspect is always more important than the formal aspect in any office, therefore you must make yourself stronger informally. This is without doing any politics, simply by winning a popularity contest (so to say) and showing him that everyone except him likes and values you.
If it doesn lead to a showdown, you dont een need to raise your voice, simply state facts on his face saying what he has been upto and how it is hurting you and the organisation.
All this while, you have to haev firm unflinching faith on the lord, be praying internally to Krsna, chanting constantly internally. He will surely guide you at every step. These are just tests that God gives us on our path of spirituality so taht we may judge how far we have progressed.
I have faced a lot of things in my office - therefore telling you from my experience.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Rashmi
Hare krishna mataji,
Does this also apply for irrational roomates in hostel. Also, should we confront them or just get away from the situation if we have the option.🙏
Hare Krsna,
PAMHO.
It applies in every situation.
Hairbol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
You shouldn't have to put up with the insults. Do not retaliate but let him know in comfortable words how you feel about things. He should know that his insults are causing you pain. Let him know. If that doesn't work, then you should let someone who is above the manager know. By doing this you would be handling the problem maturely and professionally.
I would do the same as Ash Mataji told.
In the reality all work has good or bad sides; insults, praises;
So sometimes one can tolerate also deeply meditating on Lord within the heart of everyone.
But better is to explain and have good relationships or else always being in bad mood and hatred towards others will ruin our work which we are doing.
Your servant,