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Marrying a man with a huge age gap

Hare Krishna!

I am a 25 year old woman. I wish to get married to a 38 year old man. He is 13 years elder to me. However, my parents are not agreeing to get me engaged with him owing to the huge age gap we have.

Having know this man for sometime now, I believe together we can lead a good life from all perspectives - spiritual, materialistic etc. Request all the devotees to share their thoughts.

Is it a crime to have a wish like that? Please advise.

Hari Bol!

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Replies

  • Hare Krishna! Thank you all the revered devotees for your kind responses. Can't thank you enough for taking out time to respond to this query.
  • My husband is 17 years older.. As long as you keep Krishna is at the centre of your relationship then all should work out ok.. No matter what age.. Just look to please Krishna in every way.
    • very good advice mother nikki .

  • Hari Bol

    Dear Divya

    If you feel your decision is correct then convinced your parents. Debate as much as possible with open mind and without taking your parents as old fashioned or biased.

    You can also consult with your reliable friends.

    Some inquiry about ingenuity of the man is also must.

    Collect the data as much as you can and then use your brain give some time off to your heart while doing brain storming.

    At last if you convinced then go ahead .... then you will not feel any remorse if anything goes wrong as this was your decision.

    Hari Bol..... Hare krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare hare.

    Regards

    Manish !!!!!

  • Hare krishna, PAMHO AGTSP The best person who can give you advice is Mother urmila. She is on the facebook.  She can guide you from her personal experience. She was 18  when she married an older man who was 28 years old .

  • Volunteer

    sometimes before i also did not pay much attention to the age of a person. Especially when girl is so much interested in spirituality she closes her eyes for other, material sides, but it may be a mistake which may lead to dissatisfaction in the future.

    Firstly, woman means one who should become a mother. But if husband is older then it will be difficult for kids not to have their father in the future, or to have a very old father.

    And that desire to have kids will may come in the future even if now it is not there.

    So one of the first things girl should think of marriage is about what type of kids she will have and how partners will take care of them.

    Maximum 10 years difference, if more then problems may be there. Problems with health, activity scales, ...

    Your servant,

    • interesting , but without base in scriptures.

      when i said that, i mean on that maximum difference of 10 years.

      by vedic scripture, women age of marriage is important ,not mans.

      but because of present kali yuga :

      SB 12.2.3 — Men and women will live together merely because of superficial attraction, and success in business will depend on deceit. Womanliness and manliness will be judged according to one’s expertise in sex, and a man will be known as a brāhmaṇa just by his wearing a thread.

      SB 12.2.5 — A person will be judged unholy if he does not have money, and hypocrisy will be accepted as virtue. Marriage will be arranged simply by verbal agreement, and a person will think he is fit to appear in public if he has merely taken a bath.

  • Mataji,

    The reason, age gap is more, given by your parents is not justified enough to hold you back from getting married to him, I believe. You have explained your intention to your parents and that's good. Now, being elders, if they cannot understand the depth of your feelings, and give excuse like age gap is more, then you can take your decision. There are many such couples who are leading happy lives and when everything is in The Supreme's hand, then what is there to fear about your future with that person? Have faith in The Supreme and do what your heart tells you, cause that's where The Lord resides.

    Thanks,

    Subash 

    • Volunteer
      Hare Krishna Mataji, 13 years difference is not ideal and parents would prefer a younger man for their daughter.
      If you had a daughter who wanted marriage with a much older man what would you think about it?
      He will be 40 in another 2 years.
      After 35 I have seen health is reducing in most men.
      Having children may be a problem also.
      Ideal is about 2 to 5 years difference but there is no rule that says marriage cannot be done with big difference in ages.
      So it seems the parents have these concerns for you and believe you are not making a good choice.
      There are other choices.
      What are your parents offering you?
      And what is your duty?
      Are you being impulsive?
      Best chant Hare Krishna a lot and think clearly about this with the help of caitanya guru who is situated in your heart.
      Seek the blessings of the parents and seniors.
      This is a big step in your life.
      Hare Krishna.
  • HARE KRISHNA MATAJI 

    Please forgive my offence but as you mentioned that your parents are not in favour then i would suggest you to rethink 100 times .No-one can guide you better than your parents atleast dont expect this type of guidance from a forum because no one is emotionally attached to you over here but your parents have raised you selfless and deserve all rights to make a choice for you.A daughter is a pride for entire family plus emotional weakness ,please weigh the depth of emotions b/w your parents and this partner (to be),and only then take a decision.YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS TRUST THEM.Please don't take any decision in haste that you have to regret later.Parents are next to GOD and you cannot make a worth of your life offending them.Rest is upto KRISHNA ,please meditate and ask him.

    All the best.

    HARE KRISHNA.

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