Marriage.

Hare Krishna to all devotees.

My name is Kunal Bhardwaj, a very new member of Isckon & desire tree. The reason I joined this platform just to clear my doubts & problems that comes my way so hope my concerns will be rectified in a good way without any dispute.

I've one of my very close friend who is 29 in age & a very nice person as a human being but nowadays he is really in much trouble. I am praying to Lord Krishna to help him so that he can lead a happy & peaceful, life ahead. 

The problem he is facing right now is that he really wants to go into Grihastha Ashram by marrying a good partner with whom he can share his heart for a long time but unfortunately, he has some men's problem at his private part by birth which has many disadvantages such as he cannot have sex throughout his life and cannot urinate like a normal man in public. He had gone through many operations for his problem but didn't get successful. 

Rest everything is fine as a normal man, I always encouraged him by saying that don't worry, no one in this world is 100% perfect except God everyone has some flaws & they are living nicely.  He says that my heart & soul is really willing to get married but how could I marry despite such a huge problem? No girl will accept me & he said if I  can't make a girl/woman a mother then what's the point of doing marriage. I guess every girl wants to become a mother after marriage. 

So, I suggested him not to do marriage & remain, bachelor, because you can't spoil a girl's life but inside he really wants to get married after all everyone needs moral support in life.

Please suggest to me what to do for my friend & what shastras say about such a condition.

 

Many apologies if I hurt someone unintentionally.

 

Your new servant. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Volunteer

    Iskcon attracts a many women who do not want to have sex and some only to have sex for children. For some reason, they have disdain for sex. Perhaps they were raped when she was a child by a relative or any other reason. They could be plain elevated beings who do not want to engage in inferrior pleasures.

    Many devotees have sex only for begetting children and they find this attractive. 

    He can try meeting someone like that. 

    Perhaps he can move to United states, Englane, Canada etc and get better attention to his problem after marrying western devotee.

  • Tell your friend to be honest and purify his soul through Krishna Consciousness, and as His heart turns more towards serving Krishna, the deepest and most wonderful Love will come into His life, and even that of a significant other. God will surprise one in the most miraculous Ways, and before that one can wait. Krishna only had intercourse with Radha two times and still they are celebrated as the most Beautiful Love story in Human History. I hope the best for your friend, and I want you to know there are plenty of people willing to fully Love someone like him, and they are from the Spiritual World. Hare Krishna.

    • Oh man I didn't read it till now suddenly I came across this. This is not done. 

      It is blasphemous totally absurd.

      You know What Krishna is called? Krishna is called Askalitha Brahmachari.

      One who can produce offsprings without losing his semen. One who doesn't need a female partner to satisfy HIM and One who is complete in Oneself. One who can give birth to Brahma from His lotus navel without female involvement. 
      IS IT SO difficult for Krishna to create offspings with 16,108 wives without even having Sex?? That is why is is called Askalitha brahamchari even after marrying 16,108 wives and being with so many gopi' also. He is not requiring any External means to satisfy HIMSELF. HE IS COMPLETE AND FULL. 

      Radharani And Krishna are not seperate beings. They are one. Lord Krishna's internal potency is Radha. How can they have sex  when they are not two people but one. Just as for us Krishna is our soul. Krishna's atma is Radharani.  

      Pls. dont create nonsensical stories. And For Krishna we are all Jeevas and Jevatma and Parmatama are are in union complete union ( conjugal love means that) it is related to soul not body.

      jeevatma and parmatma when united become one and they are no longer seperate.

      We all are part and parcel of Krishna there is no intercourse or anything (HEHHE) we become one with supreme when we lose our false ego and completely surrender to Lord.

      Half knowledge is dangerous. 

      this conjugal love cannot be equated to mundane sex or intercourse.

      Btw we are all coming from Krishna and go back to Krishna even radharani is inside krishna gopis also and His wives also everything coming from Krishna and comes back into Krishna finally.  

      At the end of Pralay ( deluge) what remains is a baby lying on a banayan leaf sucking HIs toe. 

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      • You need to read more of Prabhupada’s books and Lectures to understand these things:

         

        “The heavenly pleasure for the conditioned soul is sexual pleasure, and this pleasure is tasted by the genitals. The woman is the object of sexual pleasure, and both the sense perception of sexual pleasure and the woman are controlled by the Prajāpati, who is under the control of the Lord's genitals. The impersonalist must know from this verse that the Lord is not impersonal, for He has His genitals, on which all the pleasurable objects of sex depend.”

        -Srimad Bhagavatam Canto 2.

        https://vaniquotes.org/wiki/The_impersonalist_must_know_from_this_v...

        All the best.

         

        The impersonalist must know from this verse that the Lord is not impersonal, for He has His genital…
        • So now you say I am impersonlist? Wow

          Chapter 9 verse 10 Purport of BG by Srila Prabhupada.

           

           Krsna also states in Bhagavad-gita that of all the living entities in different forms and species, "I am the Father." The father gives seeds to the womb of the mother for the child, and similarly the Supreme Lord by His mere glance injects all the living entities into the womb of material nature, and they come out in their different forms and species, according to their last desires and activities. All these living entities, although born under the glance of the Supreme Lord, still take their different bodies according to their past deeds and desires. So the Lord is not directly attached to this material creation. He simply glances over material nature; material nature is thus activated, and everything is created immediately. Because He glances over material nature, there is undoubtedly activity on the part of the Supreme Lord, but He has nothing to do with the manifestation of the material world directly.

          LORD's JUST GLANCE IS ENOUGH TO MAKE OFFSPRINGS.  

          And I think the Madhurya rasa may have some conjugal affair but it is not as physical as you are thinking like between a male and female human beings.
          We shouldn't equate to our stupid regular life functions which we do to produce kids to divine love. 

          I am not so great as you are prabhu ji I don't know much. But the canto which you are showing is Virat purusha and how HE glances over the material nature to create all kinds of beings. Lord has features like us there is not doubt about it. He has personal form  I also agree. But I never read anywhere in SP books and I don't know.... can't claim. I have not been to Goloka and experienced Lord Krishna's love first of all to claim all these. And this claim which you said on Shrimati Radharani its is totally absurd. 

          Madhurya rasa is highly confidential topic we are not so great to discuss it also. first we must have qualification to talk about it also. So better just be precise to the question asked and not delve into such high profile subjects. Totally out of our reach. 

          Anyways Hare Krishna. 

          • You are much greater of a devotee than me, so do not lose your momentum. Please keep practicing Krishna Consciousness to the fullest. There is nothing you do that isn't adding to Prabhupada's movement in a positive way, because you have devoted yourself to Krishna fully. So I am sorry if you got the wrong impression from me. And of course you aren't an impersonalist, you have chosen the personalist path of Vaishnavism and are greatly succeeding at it. So I thank you for your wisdom.

            Again, with regards to the subject of Krishna and the particular Rasa being discussed, Prabhupada usually tries to keep it confidential, because it is difficult to talk about, except amongst Advanced devotees. I don't want to challenge you in your perspective, and I don't think your perspective isn't coming from your Krishna-Prema for the Lord, so I will trust it. I don't want to argue. I know the Lord is capable of anything because He is Omnipotent and Omniscient, and more, so we should not limit His abilities. He pretends to be like one of us, but really, He is quite on another Level. We are non-different from Him though, if we are pure devotees.

            You are very kind to spend your time answering me. Thank you for your devotion to Lord Caitanya. Please Always Chant Hare Krishna. I apologize for any offenses. Jaya Sri Krishna Caitanya Prabhu Nitayananda Sri Advaita Gadadhar Srivasadi Guara Bhakta Vrnda, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. Om. Haribol!

            • No need to apologize to me, and I am not a great devotee. None of us is. We are all practising devotees. 

              I have not tasted krishna prem yet.  Whatever we have for krishna love or something some kind of flowery feelings inside this is just aabhas ( emotions) and emotions which change over time it is not real love. 

              If you are having real love. well nice. You are lucky to have krishna prem. For me I can have krishna prem temporary feeling something there sometimes not there so cant be sure. so keep doing chanting . .. All that we have in our hands is chant do devotional serivice, read books... I do it in routine fashion. chant, do devotional service, read books. Whatever is in my hands I will do.
              I am indebted to Srila Prabhupada Becoz I read his books. I will help devotees to understand KC and strive to make them take up KC. This is how I repay the debt of guru Srila Prabhupada.  How much ever we repay also it is not going to fulfill ever. But still I will try..., So many iskcon devotees distribute books and roam on streets in rain and sun. They spend so much time for the explaining to devotees., pleading them to take up krishna consciousness. I feel I am nothing in front of these all. I am just a normal householder and I have this platform for helping devotees in a small way. But It doesn't make me a great devotee. There are so many out there striving in sun and doing vaani seva. spending lot of precious time for helping and guiding others

              I cannot be so sure of what you are speaking. Maybe I am wrong. I don't know but I don't think it is at a physical platform.  Maybe I need to understand this more. I am novice into madhurya rasa. I am reading about Chaitanaya and Nityananda prabhu understanding but I don't get full mercy yet to understand that rasa.

              Hare Krishna. 

              • Trust in whatever Compassion you have for Krishna. The way you have Prem for others is the way you also have Prema for Krishna. If you have deeply Loved someone else, in the Same way because you are a Vaishnava it is undeniable that you have a great Love for Krishna. Krishna Prema, the one we are looking for, is an unregressive stage of the Highest Love we can have for God. I wouldn't deny that you have it, though you are being humble. You have great devotion to Our Lord. Krishna Loves all of us, so we are to Love everyone like He does. Krishna is Love, Love is not mundane, and when we Love our neighbor as ourselves, we are distributing Krishna-Prema to them as well. Every time you chant you are distributing Krishna Prema just like Lord Caitanya, because the Lord is non-diffirent from His Names, having invested all of His Transcendental Energies into them. This movement of Bhakti Yoga that we have is the most important one in the world, because it is giving others what they need Spiritually in the Highest Way, and because of that we must associate with other devotees and take care of ourselves in that way, that is what I learned from Lokenath Swami, so I truly think we should respect and help all devotees, and associate with them in Kirtan and important Krishna Conscious activities. The reason I say you are a great devotee is because I sense you Love Krishna, and you care about the actual happiness of other devotees. There are many Spiritual Traditions on this Planet that the Supreme Lord has set up to help mankind, but you are a wonderful Vaishnava in this one, so you should always keep chanting. It is good to consider ourselves lower than the straw on the street like Lord Caitanya said, but that straw is a symbol of Compassion and kindness which you so duly have. So I thank you for that. Thank you again.

                 

                With regards to the Rasa I was talking about, it is such a confidential subject that it is probably best for us not to delve into it on here. I think that learning from different perspectives is important, but you are right to point out that we should respect the Lord as Immaculate. I want you to know that I deeply respect your commitment to the Truth, that I see that you Love the Supreme Absolute Truth, and that I believe that you know it, so do not doubt yourself. When Arjuna doubted Himself on the Battlefield of Kuruksetra, Krishna was asked to remove those doubts by Him, and so Krishna explained a great deal about Yoga and the Path of being His Devotee, and Ultimately revealed who He was. When Arjuna understood all this, He had no more doubts. But most importantly, Krishna mentioned that He was Arjuna Himself in the Bhagavad Gita, and that means Arjuna is an expansion of Krishna. But how could Krishna Himself be in doubt? It is because, much like Krishna in the form of Gautama Buddha, Arjuna had to teach the Path to others by that interaction with Krishna, in turn helping create the most important Book in our history that contains that Sacred and Holy dialogue.

                 

                So however you feel you want to present Krishna to others, do so in that Way. Nothing you have said has been incorrect or misunderstanding. You have a full understanding of Krishna within your heart by the power of the Supersoul, which you are no doubt One with. I think if you accept a friendship with Krishna as you understand Him, and ask Him to be your dear friend, you will find that He truly wants everything you think He does for you, and far more for your own benefit in His Worship and your Happiness and Love. So I thank you for correcting me in this subject. Prabhupada skillfully presented it in a certain way, you are greatly following His example to explain Krishna's Opulences. And Krishna's most important and most powerful Opulence for us is His own Krishna-Prema for all living entities, and that is the secret to the Enlightenment that we seek, that even Buddha gave to His followers, who belong to a different system of Spirituality than us Vaishnavas, but who also learned to worship Krishna in a veiled form.

                 

                So thank you for your Krishna Consious approach to me, and your kindness and concern. I thank Krishna for your association, and I hope you continue on in the Path of Vaishnavism. Thank you so much Mataji. Haribol!

                 

                Om.

                 

                Hare Krishna.

    • Bruh your claims are disgusting. I could never imagine what you claimed. Please don't make such critical claims without a sound proof. 

      • "However, in the spiritual world the same enjoyment may be there, but it never vanishes. It is continuously enjoyed. In the spiritual world such sex pleasure appears to the enjoyer to be more and more relishable with each new feature. In the material world, however, sex enjoyment becomes distasteful after a few minutes only, and it is never permanent. Because Kṛṣṇa appears very much sexually inclined, He is called the new Cupid in the spiritual world. There is no material inebriety in such desire, however."

        -CC Madhya-lila

        https://vanisource.org/wiki/CC_Madhya_8.138

        Krishna married 16,108 queens in Dvaraka and had children with them.

        Anyway, this is a useless argument, and I don't have to convince you of anything. Progress yourself in Krishna Consciousness.

        "The conjugal love between Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, which is called yugala-pīriti, is not understandable by mundane scholars, artists or poets. It is simply to be understood by devotees who strictly follow in the footsteps of the six Gosvāmīs. Sometimes so-called artists and poets try to understand the love affairs of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, and they publish cheap books of poetry and pictures on the subject. Unfortunately, however, they do not understand the transcendental affairs of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa even to the smallest degree. They are simply meddling in a matter in which they are not fit even to enter."

        -CC Adi 17.304

        https://vanisource.org/wiki/CC_Adi_17.304

        Do you not know what Conjugal Love means? Perhaps you are not ready for such confidential subjects, and that is understandable. We are not to jump to the Tenth Canto either without reading the entire Bhagavatam progressively. But the truth can still be explained. Have a nice day.

        Hare Krishna.

        CC Madhya 8.138 - Vanisource
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