Hare Krishna
I have a question in my mind related to manging lifestyle and home loan which I just wanted tto ask here.
So just to give a background, I am working in the IT industry and have a total exp of close to 20 years (all of it in India i.e. no onsite).
A couple of years back, I had purchase a home which cost me almost 1.9 cr (with interiors)
I had taken a loan of close to 1.1 cr for this (rest being down payment). At the time of purchase, even though it was a bit of stretch for me, considering that this was in tier-1 city, it was actually an average price. In close to 2 years, by Krishna's mercy, I am able to bring down the outstanding home loan amount to approx 73 lakhs as of now.
I have been living on a very tight budget and trying to repay the home loan as much as possible (technically the idea to prepay in the initial years is also because of the way EMIs are designed i.e. Principal + Interest component and so having more impact of subsequent EMIs towards principal repayment).
I have literally tried to eliminate every possible extra spending and thankfully have a supportive wife (who is mainly into a housewife role taking care of our kid, but does support in a small way via private tutions)
It was clear in my mind and also made clear to my spouse that we'll have to live very low-key for almost 3 years (out of which close to 2 years have passed)
My questions are ;
1. In my new society, there are friends/colleagues who tend to to a lot of outings, etc and I almost always deny them with whatever reason. Again, even to them, I have mentioned to them that for me, clearing the home loan is the No. 1 priority.
2. Even in my home, at times, I delay lot of purchases or for example, if my wife wants to join for certain hobby classes for the kids e.g. dance, etc, I ask her again if it is really needed.
While it was made very clear to my wife that at the time of home purchase decision, that it would mean cutting down signifcanctly on other expenses and she does understand.
But, my question is always denying to people tends to create a guilt within me and somehow I feel, if I should loosen up a bit. Can this attitude of always denying to people cause harm in the long run and in any sesne, the overall growth.
I see people in my society who also have taken similar loans, but they continue to spend quite big (e.g. cars, outings, etc).
The reason for my living in somewhat defensive manners are ;
1. Lack of safety of jobs in the IT industry
2. You can also say that by nature or family background, I am not a very aggresive personality.
Again, the purchase of home was via Krishna's mercy and I am hoping for his mercy to carry me forward.
Hare Krishna
Replies
Hare Krishna,
You are stressed out. You need to relax a bit.
English Equivalent: cut your dress according to your cloth
Meaning: limit your expenses according to your earnings
We cannot live as per the priorities of others. I have my priorities. I give importance to " SIMPLE LIVING AND HIGH THINKING"
My aim is different the people whom make up my neighbors their aim is different . How can we match?
English Equivalent: cut your dress according to your cloth
Meaning: limit your expenses according to your earnings
While I would not be able to explain everything over here regarding the decision to purchase the new home, broadly there were 2;
1. My earlier place was in a flat approx 46 year old society purchased by my father (close to 45 years back)
2. There were some legal case going on for close to 25 years blocking it from going into redevelopment and us getting a flat in new redeveloped society
We eventually sold that place and I purchased this new one with full awareness that it is going to be quite a stretch. Also, I have never taken loans for anything in my life (apart from home loan). So again, the thing in my mind was house being ultimately an asset (and not a liability like say a car) and with interest rates lower on home loan compared to say personal loan, I took the decision based on that. I also took that decsion with full understanding that I had assets in stock market to cover which can be used to repay the loan (should anything go wrong in between)
Now coming back to the issue;
While my wife is also supportive in terms of me not readily agreeing to every call of so-called "fun outing", she thinks that I should be more balanced in my approach and at-times, do go out and have some sort of social connection. She is of the view that we'll realize these things at a much later age when we might not have anyone to connect/talk with.
Apologies if I said anything incorrectly.
Hare Krishna
Hare Krishna,
The momment we are enjoy to please ourselves we are entering into Maya.
At this stage, I intend to somehow find the right-balance (not wanting to cut off from the outside material world). Though with the realization that real life is in spiritual things and would want to gradually aspire for that. Not sure if that goal is feasible OR does it always have to be that you choose either Maya or Krishna.
Hare Krishna
Hare Krsna
Always denying to people tends to create a guilt within me and somehow I feel, if I should loosen up a bit.
Since you have not mentioned what these "outings" are , I assume that these don't have selfless service to Sri Krsna at its center. So this guilt is because of denying some immediate sense gratification for a better future.
Can this attitude of always denying to people cause harm in the long run and in any sesne, the overall growth.
More than denial to people , it seems it is more of denying some sense-gratification to one self. Once a desire has been planted within the heart of a conditioned soul, it is capable of keeping that condiioned soul in material world for many lifetimes. Any material desire is harmful.
Hare Krsna
Hare Krsna
Angam galitam palitam mundam
Dasanavihinam jatam tundam
Vriddho yati grihitva dandam
Tadapi na munchaty asapindam
Bhaja Govindam Bhaja Govindam
Govindam Bhaja mudamate
The limbs (अङ्गं angam) are weakened (गलितम् galitam); the head (मुण्डम् mundam) has turned grey (पलितम् palitam); the mouth (तुण्डम् tundam) has become (जातम् jātam) toothless (दशनविहीनम् dashanavihīnam). The old man (व्रूद्ध: vrddha:) walks (याति yāti) holding (गृहीत्वा gruhītvā) a stick (दण्डम् dandam). Even then (तदपि tadapi) [he] does not give up (न मुञ्चति na munchati) his bundle of hopes and desires (आशापिण्डम् āshāpindam).
Worship Govinda Worship Govinda
Worship Govinda you fool - Sripada Adi Shankaracarya
Hare Krsna