Hare Krishna Prabhuji/ Mataji,
Please Accept My Humble Obeisances
All Glories to Srila Prabhupada
I have started getting suicidal thoughts. What should I do?
I revealed them to devotees but they left me in between and blocked my number. I am sorry for causing inconveniences here as well and causing agony to you all . I feel so my life doesn't matter for anyone and I am giving everyone pain and I should end it and provide relief to the entire movement, my family members, my friends and teachers.
It took soo much strength to mustur up the courage and reveal all that to someone. But I met with rejection. I was in touch with those devotees for an year and I put soo much trust on them but they abandoned.
Your Servant
Replies
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
If you have decided that your life is worthless and that you are giving pain to everyone, then I have better plan for you. By giving up your life, you will not gain - you will not even get another body until the timespan of this life is over. YOu will have to wander in ghost/ hobgoblin body - this way actually giving a lot more pain to the world.
If you continue to live, then what? It wont affect anyone, but you. You have a chance to make this "worthless" life priceless. How? Simply by giving this one life to Krsna. Anyways, it is of no use to you - you are thinking of ending it - then why not end the material part of it and gain spiritually by surrendering to Krsna. How to do that? Do everything for Krsna - whether eating, sleeping, walking, working....anything. Remember one thing, Krsna can see and understand your mindset better than you can express it. He stays as paramatma in your heart. Thats why nothing is hidden from him.
Do not give up this life prabhu, give this life to Krsna. And see the magic unfold.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
Thanks Mataji for your warm words.
Your life matter.
"Out of many thousands among men, one may endeavor for perfection, and of those who have achieved perfection, hardly one knows Me in truth."
- Bg. 7.3
Not only do you recieved a human body, which is a rare opportunity by itself, but you also assiciated with the devotees, which is even more rare fortune. After countless of births one can achieve it. You might think that it's not a big deal, just being able to connect with a devotional service. But it's actually a big deal, without exaggeration. And you can give a lot to other people. If you just talk to them about Krishna.
Besides, you don't have a right to destroy your body. It's not your property. It's God's property. He has plans for it. And He will decide if this body is no longer needed. Not you.
Thanks Mataji... I was shattered that devotees whom I trusted more than my family members also left me. If Vaishnavas are super merciful then what could be the reason for their denial.
But I find your message very helpful
https://iskcondesiretree.com/profiles/blogs/hare-krsna-tv-counselin...
Thank You Soo Much Prabhuji ... Now I feel my life matters a bit more.
Today is Narsimha Chaturdashi and certainly Lord sent you to help me and offer me help