Is marriage important?

Hare Krishna!
Lord Krishna says in The Bhagavad-gita 'Prescribed duties should never be renounced. If one gives up his prescribed duties because of illusion, such renunciation is said to be in the mode of ignorance. Anyone who gives up prescribed duties as troublesome or out of fear of bodily discomfort is said to have renounced in the mode of passion. Such action never leads to the elevation of renunciation.' My doubt is 'is marriage important in todays life where there is a need of a compatible partner who can adjust in all situations? As there are 4 stages in a human life, one of them being "grihasta ashram". It is also one of the prescribed duty of a human being according to the Vedas. So is it compulsary to enter into a married life?

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        • Since i am a seasoned grihastha devotee,i have seen these predicaments strictly depends on the female devotees mentality.She married a demon....such demons generally want to eat meat.Does she mind cooking meat?Is she initiated...? If she is initiated she should approach her guru for personal guidance....If she is not initiated then get initiated first ....then approach your guru for guidance,if she is not able to go to temple ,seek shelter from her parents and brothers...if she has some!Either way it is always very messy and complicated.....she has to be very willing to risk everything to please krishna and guru!
        • Hare Krishna,

          I have a very little idea of these things, so I think it should be better to consult with some Grhasta counselors, but as far as I'm concerned, if at all I'm in that situation (which is not possible in this life) I would not enter a place knowing that it is hell; unless I have some hope that the partner can understand his spouse and accept changes in his life. Of course, we also can't generalize things as "everyone is an individual" and that the answer would have to suit the specific situation involved. Thus, it requires some more details to be investigated further (regarding, parents, how he was brought up, his nature etc. etc.). But, please mind that these issues are generally sensitive and have to be dealt with very carefully.

          And for the point you mentioned that a wife should follow the order of a husband, I believe that this should be done only when the husband is under the guidance of a bonafide spiritual master. A simple example would illustrate this: A son is supposed to be following his father's instruction, but if the father is drunk and asks his son to bring a stick and beat his mother, what should the son do?? Does he follow the instruction of father and beat his own mother or should be do something to bring his father back to his senses. The shastra tells that the latter thing has to be done and I too would do the same (even one could make out by common logic). Please contemplate.

          Please clarify whatever I have said with some senior devotee.

          Your servant,
          • hare krishna prabhuji

            thank u so much for reply ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
            u have cleared my some other doubt but still i need some more guidance regarding this issue as prabhupada ji said that the devotees should always be satisfied with three things, namely----food,circumstances and there's a lot of confusion ........

            dandvat pranam

            servant of all devotees
      • Jai Swaroop pr, It seems that all of your points are perfect.

        The goal of life is to serve the spiritual master in relation to Krishna in this life and eternally and depending upon ones mentality, he may enter into different ashrams.

        If one realizes about truth just by hearing and serving, then he need not take to Grhasta ashrama, whereas one after hearing, wants to experience and then gets realization, it may be necessary for him to get married.

        I also heard that it is almost compulsory for matajis to get married, for the same reasons you have mentioned earlier but there were Brahmacharini ashrams for the sake of preaching and it was according to time, place and circumstances only for very exalted souls and not for the imitation of common people.

        These points are taken from bonafide lectures of ISKCON........reg. choosing ashrams.

        I heard that it would be better that I quote the references, then there would be no problem at all as things are not from my impure mind/intelligence.

        Thank you very much for the answers. Please forgive any offences I had committed.
        Hari hari

        Your servant,
          • Reply to Kavita would be to wait for Krishna to show you the way. One should not force things. Pray to Krishna to guide one. He may not think that person is ready or it just may not be best for them or maybe it is but in the future.
            Hare Krishna!
      • Hare Krishna,
        I have delayed in replying to you. There is a very thin line of difference between Sense Gratification and duties performed for Krsna. From your reply it seems that you are confused on the topic and are mixing up different subjects. You will need a lot of discussion with me face to face. I cannot use this e-mail platform. You know something about Varna Shankar Dosh it seems. And therein lies the contradiction to your reply. You admit to Varna Shankar Dosha but not admit Marriage as a duty to Krsna. In your view children can be produced only when a husband and wife want to engage in sex satisfaction process ! There is no other way children could be produced ? Our Shastras are full of examples where it is mentioned that Gruhastha Ashram is the best of all. Anyway I will keep this topic alive and we may discuss it when we meet or you may have a serious discussion with our ISKCON Acharya. One more thing you believe is that by dedicating one's life to his spiritual master in the service of Krsna he is liberated from Maya. Mind you Maya's scope is not so restricted, otherwise Saints like Vishwamitra would not have fallen down, Saints like Bharata would not have to take birth as Jada Bharata. It is an altogether different topic. You are under wrong impression about "freedom to women" and "protection to women". They are again two different things. Since long time men have started thinking it their almighty right to exploit women under the pretext that you have cited as example of Varna Shankar. My dear simply an ovum can not produce Varna Shankar Dosh, it requires SPERM . It is women who are raped and not a man. If men could control themselves no matter what a woman does she could not be raped without the desire of men. It is a vast topic again. I can say only this much that you need an expert to clarify your mind about these topics. Repeating a criminal deed several 100 times does not give it a legal sanctity. Same is the case about wrong notions which have been floated in our society ince about a 100 years I may say that Woman is a commodity - even Pandavas treated Draupadi like that. But it is wrong. Even in Rama's "Ramrajya" Mata Sita had to give "Agni Pariksha". Generations after man has remembered only this thing to dominate and exploit women. They have forgotten the treatment that was given by Rama to women. On a simple order of Mata Kaikeyee he had accepted Vanvaas of 14 years. What you have to say about it. Sita Mata Chose her husband, So did Mata Rukmini, only a few examples to be cited of freedom to women ! Hare krishna! If my Lord Krsna gives me order we will meet to discuss, or He knows He has innumerable ways of sorting things out.
        • Mahesh Kumar Gandhi , You said face to face???? Thank you but i know the facts of life.
          But there are other ways in having children to via adoption... I was just speaking my mind.
          Divorce& Marriage are seperate. But when spoken of duties (ie):marriage?? things happen btwn
          married couples tht are sometimes out of your hands.. i may be new to KC,and still learning
          about KC.. But i'd be greatful the next time not to be so graphic.. Thank you.
          hare krnsa
          PS I will continue my studies in KC
          the closest temple is in los angeles,california.
        • ''GOD PUNISHES SANYASIS......seems an interesting concoction!....however i would like to see your sastric quotes from OUR aRCHARYAS mahesh kumar ghandhi prabhu your tongue has got into the way of your mind POSSIBLY !Either way YOU SEEM A MIGHT CONFUSED .....OR SIMPLY QUITE WRONG!
          • yuga_avatar_das
            I don't like ur attitude..!!!! sastric quotes? You cannot stand in judement of others tht
            u don't know.. If u don't know me(the person) then don't judge... tht is not up to anyone
            to place judgement on others...
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