Is marriage important?

Hare Krishna!
Lord Krishna says in The Bhagavad-gita 'Prescribed duties should never be renounced. If one gives up his prescribed duties because of illusion, such renunciation is said to be in the mode of ignorance. Anyone who gives up prescribed duties as troublesome or out of fear of bodily discomfort is said to have renounced in the mode of passion. Such action never leads to the elevation of renunciation.' My doubt is 'is marriage important in todays life where there is a need of a compatible partner who can adjust in all situations? As there are 4 stages in a human life, one of them being "grihasta ashram". It is also one of the prescribed duty of a human being according to the Vedas. So is it compulsary to enter into a married life?

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  • The decison depends totally on individual, if he thinks he can responsibly raise krishna conscious children and wife,then its a boon for a society. And whatever great Brahmacharya personalities we have in our today world, its only because there parents got married and raised in a right manner. So its our choice and Krishna Grace.
    • Hare Krishna

      Sanyasi is not a state of your material existence but the state of your conscious sustainability. Grihast ashram is the state where there is test of ones level of KC . Total samarpan to Krishna & control of the sensces . if the circumstances are favourable then where is the question of exam . if one has to give the exam with open text books then where is the need to go through the hardships of learning. So please enter the Grihast ashram and pass out with great marks.

      Radheyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Shyam.
  • Marriage is a obstacle in the path of devotional service. But in Kali-yuga it is not favorable.
    • actually mahesh prabhu u said that men have to control and need a sperm.but what about the women of today?they in the name of freedom are doing everything and anything which needs no mention.then already it is difficult to control senses then all this adulteration then what can men also do?there has to be control on both sides else only varnasankaras will be born.and that is what is happening today.
      • and sita devi had to go through an agni pariksha so that less intelligent class of men would not question her chastity
    • Hare Krishna Prabhu Yadunandan,
      Do you mean to say you are the result of an unwanted obtacle. If it would have been an obtacle in the path of devotional service why would Krsna have 16108 wives, Rama have One Sita, Shankar would have one Parvati, Lord Ganesh have Ridhi Sidhi, and ... and....
      You cannot control your Kam Vasana then it is your fault. It has nothing to do with marriage or wife. How can your fault make a pious activity such as marriage be described as an obstacle.
      You need guidance on this topic. Please take advice from our learned Guru in the matter.
      • Hare Krishna pr,
        PAMHO. AGTSP.

        Thank you for the reply. I agree with all the points in the first paragraph, but we cannot forget that Lord Sri Chaitanya was a sannyasi (after his Grhasta ashram) and of course, the supreme lord is transcendental to all varnas and ashrams.

        The ideal devotee Lord Chaitanya quotes,

        naham vipro na ca nara-patir napi vaisyo na sudro
        naham varni na ca grha-patir no vanastho yatir va
        kintu prodyan nikhila-paramananda-purnamrtabdher
        gopi-bhartuh pada-kamalayor dasa-dasanudasah

        So, a devotee might be in some ashram, but he doesnt consider all these, he simply identifies himself as the servant of the servant of the servant of the Gopis (Krishna's devotees)----- quoted by HHRNSM many times.

        It is true that marriage may not be an obstacle to spiritual life as it can aid one to practice more intensly too. That is when it becomes Grhasta ashrama, else it is not an ashram at all, just Grhamedhi. when Krishna comes in to the picture, all contradictions are resolved.

        It is also true that uncontrolled Kama Vasana or desire for sense gratification is ones own fault. But it may exist in both a Brahmachari and Grhasta, and the practitioner is expected not to fan that propensity in either ashram.

        HG Radheshyam pr explains that Grhasta ashrama provides regulation. If one wants to have regulated enjoyment, then shastric injunctions let him get married......So, as long as things are Shastric (within the realm of instruction of Hari), it is not wrong, but at the same time all these instructions are subservants to the 2 highest instructions:
        1. Always remember Vishnu,
        2. Never forget Vishnu..........which are the supreme instructions of the same lord.

        It is explained as follows:
        When one is aspiring and able to an extent just love krishna so much so that does not want to share his love with anyone else (of course, this is not due to selfishness, he wants others too to experience the same love), he BLISSFULLY accepts brahmacharya or sannyasa and he experiences highest happiness in preaching the holy names exclusively, whereas in married life one necessarily shares his love with wife, children (in the spiritual sense that they have been sent by Krishna for me to serve them) and that is most welcome in case they are devotees and that is a door for liberation (but, it is one the spiritual platform, it is not to be considered mundane).

        Thats why anyone who practices Grhasta ashram sincerely automatically develops detachment and can blissfully take to vanaprasta after his responsibilites in the ashrama are complete.

        I am very happy again to recollect some philosphy I heard.

        Prabhuji, in case there are any other detailed queries, I personally feel that HG Sankarshan das Adhikari prabhu would be best person to answer. And, importantly, he answers many many emails a day, so I hope that we might get a reply for our mails.

        Please forgive me for my offenses. I simply tried my level best to not alter the philosophy of the sampradaya. Please, necessarily let me know about any mistakes.

        Your aspiring servant,
  • Krsna says If you can not control your sex, you must go marriage, otherwise need not
    • prem,
      i'm not going into personal problems,, but to not contorl your sex , means u hve to get married?
      let's just say for the sake of argument: the choices i made when i had my children back in the80's
      was my desicion...
  • It is not compulsory to enter household life......however one must be mature in his realisation to stay determined over many years of devotional service!Myself i was always going to be a bramachari,however after 15 years in the ashrama i found i was the only one left!Feeling alone i realised you need a strong group of like minded devotees for genuine association to help create the positive environment necessary!Ideally you see that it is only really possible in india....., sorrounded by a culture which has more sensitivity to such a practice of renunciation .Being sorrounded by devotees in the west was not enough personally,so i took the option of marriage.Personally i am aware that it was the best option for myself,because it made me more able to under go ''austerity of all forms'',which allowed me to tolerate the pushing and pulling of the mind.....more naturally and less selfishly.Also one has to be a certain type of personality to fit within the ''group mentality'',usually being caucasian and a might callous does be able to appreciate the western ISKCON thinking ....which i was not!Hopefully these comments might help your servant ....
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