I need advices about my marriage and KC

My husband just started japa yoga, and is pretty new to all this.
He has been an atheist since he was young, he never believed in a god.
But now, after he has been with me to kirtans and have tasted parasadam,
he really wanted to try it out, and is enjoying it very much, and he is
very excited about taking control over his senses.

We have stopped having sex, and it's going just fine.
But I think I'm talking to much about Krishna, and all I've learned,
so it's all going to fast, he says. The problem is that I love to talk about Krishna,
of course. Is there anyone who has any advices about how I should act?
Sometimes I'm a bit afraid that he will forget, and stop his japa yoga.
So I want to motivate him, but in a way wich I'm not irritating:)

I really hope me and my husband can keep on together, and one day offer our marriage to
Krishna. We agree about that we want to share our love to Krishna together,
and by doing that, we will have a strong, loving relationship together as well.

Haribol
Julianne

In vedic culture the essence of a successful marriage is that the ''wife is enjoyed by the husband''.Which means the wife has to be very sweet,loving and submissive to enable the husband to work hard to provide for his family!She also must guide him back to godhead.....while also empowering him that it is ''his idea's ,inspiration and strength which are her strength also.In other words he must be ''progressive while she encourages''..... even if he is the lesser in krishna conciousness,he will gradually become her superior as time passes! She how ever must be expert when to be quiet...... to allow him to come to the rightful or wrong conclusions for them both,then readjust it when the situation demands...in his time!My wife is now very bossy and dictitorial but eventually i put my foot down when i feel it is necessary...and she adjusts...but we both admire each other for doing our shared duty to guru and krishna!.....However in my family i am guru....but she still has her strong opinions also!....good luck julianne

Replies

Julianne April 1, 2010 at 12:38am

Haribol

Thank you for the link:)
But I also like advices from the people on forum as well:)
Julianne March 31, 2010 at 11:29pm

Well, my husband can't enjoy my company unless I enjoy his company.
So the wife is enjoyed by the husband, and the husband is enjoyed by the wife.
- yuga_avatar_das > Julianne April 1, 2010 at 5:09am
  
  Yes you are right julianne... however for a successful longterm marriage one eventually does serve their intimate soul- mate primarily out of ''love and respect'' fashioned by years of serving krishna first....many times at the loss of personal gratification and family sacrifice to try and satisfy guru and krishna's senses and their agenda's.At least that is my personal realisation ...after4 wonderful children who are teenagers now!Recently i accepted a family freinds child in to my own family who is now 15 months old!Her name is amrita dasi!They offered me five children from the extended family to become devotees,even though they are non-devotees because my other children are always devotionally happy...in their personal veiws!Hare krishna Julianne....follow the supersoul within the heart....our own sincerity is a powerful safegaurd...in my humble veiw!
- Hari mohan dasa > Julianne April 1, 2010 at 12:07am
  
  Mataji,
  
  My humble suggestion is to contact the Grihastha Vision Team at http://www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org/
  
  They are professional family counsellors and are set up to help and give advice to devotees such as yourself and your husband. They are professional, confidential, and in tune to the American culture from which you come from.
  
  Better to get advice from them than from a public forum
Julianne March 31, 2010 at 11:11pm

Hare Krishna,
thanks for your comment,
I should take your advice:)
Mahesh Kumar Gandhi March 31, 2010 at 11:01pm

Hare Krishna Mataji,
There is nothing to worry since your husband is doing Japa. Quantity is not important Quality is a must in Japa. God never asked to stop any thing. He says you should know your limits. You should be exact in everything no less and no more. When there is no problem now, why are you eager in anticipation of problem and destroying your enjoyment of today. Leave everything to Krsna. You stop talking first about Krsna and you will see that he will start talking about Krsna. Try and reach a stage wherein you follow the four rules of ISKCON. You will have to give time to your husband to achieve these four rules. Have patience. Don't ruin your present because of a imaginary problem fantacised by you.
Hare Krishna ! Be my friend.
Julianne March 31, 2010 at 2:04pm

thanks you for your advices, yuga_avatar_das.
Haribol:)
yuga_avatar_das March 31, 2010 at 12:34pm

In vedic culture the essence of a successful marriage is that the ''wife is enjoyed by the husband''.Which means the wife has to be very sweet,loving and submissive to enable the husband to work hard to provide for his family!She also must guide him back to godhead.....while also empowering him that it is ''his idea's ,inspiration and strength which are her strength also.In other words he must be ''progressive while she encourages''..... even if he is the lesser in krishna conciousness,he will gradually become her superior as time passes! She how ever must be expert when to be quiet...... to allow him to come to the rightful or wrong conclusions for them both,then readjust it when the situation demands...in his time!My wife is now very bossy and dictitorial but eventually i put my foot down when i feel it is necessary...and she adjusts...but we both admire each other for doing our shared duty to guru and krishna!.....However in my family i am guru....but she still has her strong opinions also!....good luck julianne

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- Mahesh Kumar Gandhi > yuga_avatar_das March 31, 2010 at 11:13pm
  
  In which vedic culture the essence of a successful marriage is that the " wife is enjoyed by the husband". Wife is not a comodity that could be enjoyed, used and thrown out.
  - yuga_avatar_das > Mahesh Kumar Gandhi April 1, 2010 at 4:59am
    
    Sorry to possibly cramp your style mahesh kumar ghandhi....i veiw ''vedic'' marriages as being the legacy of Sri Krishna...the supreme personality of godhead,the mahabarat histories and the devotional literatures following the teachings of the six goswami's of vrindavana.Having been an initiated devotee and preacher for 3 decades i distinctly do not refer to the perverted indian present culture and all its present day problems!I came acroos this quote about a successful marriage while reading Srila ac Bhaktivedanta swami's purports of the srimad bhagavatam and maha bharat!Such vedic women ....naturally possessed wonderfully sweet intelligent dispositions,after a lifetime of training like queen kunti!Such intelligence when used in devotional service is veiwed as a female trait according to the archarya's.

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