I am 27 years Old male. I am from a religious tamil brahmin family, I was born and brought up in Mumbai. I was brought up with very conservative values, but on one in my family could explain why we lived the way we did. This led to depression in my life and conflict between my conservative upbringing and very liberal society. This also pushed me to abandon god and become a budhhist.
I work and live in Paris, France. 4 years ago due to my ignorance, I ended up having a crush on a girl we ended up kissing, nothing further happened. After that event I went into depression, as I saw the reality of such a relationship.
During lockdown I started doing a lot of research and reading a lot and listening a lot. I slowly started developing a high interest in bhakti, it answered all my doubts and calmed me. Now for 1 year I have been following strictly, chanting 8 rounds, and listening to bhagavatam classes every day and reading prahbupada's books. I have become more happy and grounded than I have ever been.
In the past week my mother has started talking about my marriage. She knows well about my journey in Bhakti and she also has started along with me. I don't see myself marrying anyone who is not interested in Bhakti. Now I feel guilty. I feel I have forfeit my brahmacharya status when I kissed that girl. I am impure and don't deserve to get married. I also used drink a little alcohol due to peer pressure even though I hate it.
How to I accept the mistakes done in the past and move forward, and how do I explain my impious activities in the past to a potential partner?
I apolagize for any mistakes or offence with this question, Hari bol!