Hello sir/mam. Want to share something with u. I have made a very sweet friend. 1 month of friendship in office, but since we r so highly like minded n similar in behavior, attitude, habits n everything we became very good friends n a very short while. We both like each other so much n everything going so well. One day i discussed with her about divinity n celibate life. Listening to this, she reacted to me as if i m an alien.
When i tried to explain her the logic behind why looking at women makes me feel guilty, she said i m mad. I explained her that when i look at some woman with wrong thoughts it feels like m abusing my own sister n mamma. She instead of adopting my thoughts, started thinking that i m abnormal. she doubted me to be impotent, gay or bisexual. She said If men n women dont have physical relations, there s no fun in life. I just broke from inside after hearing this. A girl for whom i had so much of respect, talks like this.
n afterall, gradually she was becoming my inspiration to keep my divinity maintained, n guard myself from dirty thoughts. I need a cause to remain pure. Her these words just shattered me into pieces. M shattered sir m shattered.
The above notes, i had written a week ago to post but could not get time to post it, More new things happened after that.
I talked about this to one of my best friends who knows in n out of me. He made me understand that this kind of understanding is not possible to have by everyone and afterall this is a normal feeling which every human has. I was able to overcome this becoz I could have the understanding to it.
Everyone doesnt have that. So he asked me not to be sad and asked to let her go the way she is and go on. But I have decided I will not let her go but will try to change her. Sir/mam how can i change her thoughts? How can i put in her mind that this is wrong and change her views?
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Every being is seeking God so how can harm evolve from subtlely presenting an opportunity for their cr
Please believe in the words of (HDG) (SP) "all Souls are Seeking KRISHNA'S CONSCIOUSNESS.
HARAY BOOLa
no harm to "present an opportunity", but spending too much time for non-interested person may be harmful
your servant,
das anu das
give more importance to maintain your divine thoughts & character. association is v. powerful, if u try to "change" her, you yourself may get corrupted. Patanjali Yog Sutras says about behaviour :
1. with happy people, be friendly
2. with sad people, be kind not friendly
3. with those doing good deeds, feel you are doing with them, u are part of it,
4. with those doing wicked/evil/bad things (like your case) : IGNORE them & stay away
So Prabhu please stay far from such a person, you can't change other's destiny based on their choices. you can teach children not adults. PLease keep ur focus on krishna. Krishna is ultimate goal. i'm sure u will find many good devotee friends. you can pray for that person from distance.
Pls forgive me if i have hurt
thank you very much,
your servant,
das anu das
Hare Krsna
Thank you for being so open.
Sir/mam how can i change her thoughts? How can i put in her mind that this is wrong and change her views?
The thought of changing another person's thought because I am correct(and other r not)is not a noble one. Even Krsna doesn't do that in BG to Arjuna who is such a surrendered & devoted close friend. All Krsna does is tries to present knowledge in the best possible manner showing the pros and cons of all the possibilities. But Krsna never tries to change Arjuna's thought because He is right and Arjuna is wrong. Which is true, but Krsna doesn't enforce it. And in the end Krsna says yatechasi tata kuru indicating that whatever Arjuna chooses is acceptable for Krsna
I your case the determination - I have decided I will not let her go but will try to change her indicates that her choice of not accepting your thoughts are not acceptable to you.
So it is possible that your attempts to bring her out of ignorance is not so much directed towards elevating her to Krsna conscious, rather it is to prove your point of greater knowledge and get an approval/acknowledgement from her. It is possible that the reason for you not letting her go is because you are in dire need of her approval about your thoughts. And the determination to not let her go is actually the determination to earn her approval.
A girl for whom i had so much of respect, talks like this. n afterall, gradually she was becoming my inspiration to keep my divinity maintained, n guard myself from dirty thoughts. I need a cause to remain pure. Her these words just shattered me into pieces. M shattered sir m shattered.
The above is a clear indication that there need for change of thoughts is at your end. While need for change of thoughts may be there at her end, surely she doesn;t find the need. So your perception of need for her thoughts to change is inconsequential.
The most important question is - Are you willing to accept that you are not god and cannot change any other person's thought ever ? If yes then this will be a strong realization or a step in the path of KC or a lesson for life.
If no - then you will be more lost than you already are which can be undestood when you say - she was becoming my inspiration to keep my divinity maintained
Objectively speaking How ? Have you increased you commitment to KC like increasing num of rounds you chant or quality of rounds you chant ? Have u started readin more of Srila prabhupad books ? Have you started rendering more menial services to vaishnavas ? Because of deriving inspiration from her
Because KC increases & is maintained by the above activities.
In the end I would simple say that you could be at cross roads - Let her go and you stick to path of KC or you go after her.
One may think that you can have both, but since you cannot accept her not accepting your thoughts, the option of having both can be eliminated.
Kindly forgive me if I have hurt you or offended you. It was not my intention to hurt you, it is to help you
Hare Krsna
YS Bharat
Prabhu You seem to have fallen for her beauty or whatever and thats why you don't want to let her go and you are shattered . Thats actually a weakness in you which you need to rectify. Be a strong man . i can only say this much