sukanyā cyavanaḿ prāpya 

patiḿ parama-kopanam 

prīṇayām āsa citta-jñā 

apramattānuvṛttibhiḥ 

 

TRANSLATION: Cyavana Muni was very irritable, but since Sukanyā had gotten him as her husband, she dealt with him carefully, according to his mood. Knowing his mind, she performed service to him without being bewildered. 

 

PURPORT: This is an indication of the relationship between husband and wife. A great personality like Cyavana Muni has the temperament of always wanting to be in a superior position. Such a person cannot submit to anyone. Therefore, Cyavana Muni had an irritable temperament. His wife, Sukanyā, could understand his attitude, and under the circumstances she treated him accordingly. If any wife wants to be happy with her husband, she must try to understand her husband's temperament and please him. This is victory for a woman. 

 

Even in the dealings of Lord Kṛṣṇa with His different queens, it has been seen that although the queens were the daughters of great kings, they placed themselves before Lord Kṛṣṇa as His maidservants. However great a woman may be, she must place herself before her husband in this way; that is to say, she must be ready to carry out her husband's orders and please him in all circumstances. Then her life will be successful. When the wife becomes as irritable as the husband, their life at home is sure to be disturbed or ultimately completely broken. In the modern day, the wife is never submissive, and therefore home life is broken even by slight incidents. Either the wife or the husband may take advantage of the divorce laws. 

 

According to the Vedic law, however, there is no such thing as divorce laws, and a woman must be trained to be submissive to the will of her husband. Westerners contend that this is a slave mentality for the wife, but factually it is not; it is the tactic by which a woman can conquer the heart of her husband, however irritable or cruel he may be. In this case we clearly see that although Cyavana Muni was not young but indeed old enough to be Sukanyā's grandfather and was also very irritable, Sukanyā, the beautiful young daughter of a king, submitted herself to her old husband and tried to please him in all respects. Thus she was a faithful and chaste wife. 

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Replies

      • namaskaram Zola ji

        hare Krsna ,

        If we take a wife or husband , we must do so in the knowledge that this material life is one thing and our spiritual wellbeing is another , we must ballance these things , being married is two people working together in Krsna consciousness , marraige is a partnership for life ....no seperation no divorce this is what we promiced our gurumaharaj ji

  • i completely agree with you chirag prabhuji....what you had said is completely true...

  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna,

    PAMHO.

    So sweet Chirag Prabhu. When you want to get married, tell me. I will find you very nice devotee girl.

    Haribol,

    Your servant,

    Rashmi

  • namaskaram

    Hare Krsna Chirag ji ,

    you have every qualification to speak and will make a good husband when or if you decide to mary . you speak rightly to say that it is also the duty of the man to serve the wife and also the offspring of the marraige , it is his duty to love , protect and provide the best enviroment possible for the wife and childrens spiritual advancement in return the wife will lovingly support him in his duties .

     as you say we should all remember that we are servants and should think how best to serve all around us , the problems arise when one partner is more advanced than the other , in which case it is the duty of the more advanced to gently lead the other .

    it is often probematic for the woman if the husband is less advanced , but if she is skillfull she will gently encorage the husband to advance in the right direction .

    I hope more young men will develop in their Krsna consciousness like yourself before marraige this will dramaticaly improve the conditions for mataji's in their marraiges and provide a suitable home for the rearing of children .

    there is also much that men can do between them selves , if one has a freind or associate who one sees having difficulties , it is also our duty to gently guide that person , to teach them their responcibilities .

    this was the position of the father and the Guru , but many times the father and Guru are not close at hand to observe and advise , in which case it is our duty to do so .

    matajis also should be there to help each other .

    jai sri krsna

    • hare krishna mataji.....

                                           you are obviously correct....many so called devotees are unable to understand these things and have vague opinions....They dont go through the shastras....they simply mentally speculate and do so called krishna bhakti...which krishna himself dislikes....

      dear Rashmi mataji...  i had seen your posts....to be frank....its very difficult to find good husbands and good wives too. Srila prabhupada gave instructions to both male and female devotees too.. what we can do is to best follow the instructions of the acahryas...some women are becoming very arrogant at your so called strong words...which are not the actual teachings of srila prabhupada....srila prabhupada's instructions and their practicality are discussed by the devotees here...women are becoming highly arrogant and are arguing with men....which is unwanted...hence i request you to kindly refer to shastras and then give reply....following or not following depends upon the free will of the person...its upto them...when we follow...we will get good results...when we dont follow...we suffer...krishna will be displeased....

    • Volunteer

       Dear  Ratikala devi dasi,  Hare Krishna, dandavat pranams.

      I am very happy to hear your sweet words that give encouragement to all the devotees.

      This subject matter is very important and needs serious study and sincere application.

      Both husband and wife are to work together peacefully so the children will be strong physically, emotionally and spiritually.

      That is the fruit of family life to produce children who will be of great benefit to the world.

      And then the children of such children will be even more strong. 

      Great souls,  pure devotees  who can change this world.

      That is our hope that all you young devotees will hear this Srimad Bhagvatam with great faith.

      Have full faith that if you chant Hare Krishna and follow it as it is without twisting it you will get the greatest happiness in this life and the next.

      That may mean becoming very humble and submissive to husband and the husband must become very humble and submissive also.

      And both work under the direction of gurudev and shastra.

      Because the wife is devotee   husband must offer obeisances to the wife and serve her.

      Also the children are devotees so I must also serve them and give them proper respect.

      They are not my servants,  they belong to Krishna and i am just a caretaker of Krishna's property.

      They are for Krishna's enjoyment not my enjoyment.

      But I still must act as there guide and sometimes discipline them if needed for there benefit.

      Seeing Krishna is in their hearts I offer them affection because Krishna is there.

      So this family life can be transcendental and full of bliss and knowledge when Krishna is the center and you keep Srimad Bhagavatam and Gurudev as teacher and guide.

      Hare Krishna.

      • Hare Krishna

        Dear Jagadatma Das ji,

        It was a great pleasure to read your so-correct and simple but very valuable opinions. We all have so much to understand and learn from this.

  • Volunteer
    Dear devotees Hare Krishna, Srimad Bhagavatam is our ultimate authority as it is non different from Sri Krishna.
    Both examples of Kardama and Cyvana are about the good qualities of a chaste and submissive wife and how by humbleness and sweetness their husbands were so pleased to fulfil their wives every need.
    Cyavana regained his youth and was as beautiful as the ashvini kumaras and was no longer an irritable old man.
    The points Srila Prabhupada are making in the purports Brajsunder Das has quoted are very relevant to our modern era.
    Because of modern education and propaganda there is this women's liberation idea which is against the real interests of women.
    Women have become so Independent that in uk where I presently stay 50% of the women have no husbands.
    The family unit is almost destroyed.
    This is not the fault of the women .
    So we should take lessons from Srimad Bhagavatam on how to live a peaceful family life chant Hare Krishna and go back home back to Godhead.
    Hare Krishna.
    • namaskaram

      pranama's jagadatma das Ji

      yours is a very nice reply ,

      growing up in the west I have seen and had to live through this illusion that independance means happiness , woman blames man and man blames woman for their unhappiness , but in truth their unhapiness comes from their excessive desires , man and woman are well suited to work together , to assist eachother , to care for and protect one another and to support each other towards true liberation , you are correct to say that it is not the fault of women nor is it the fault of the man , but it is the illusion of maya .

      if we are to work well together it means rationalising our excessive material desires and expectations and extending tollerence toward one another this is the true path of happiness in wich man and wife can share the sucesses and the sorrows of material life and strengthen each other to make steps towards spiritual advancement as it is spiritual advancement that brings the truest of happinesses .

      Jai sri Krsna

      • hare krsna ratikala mataji,

                                                  PAMHO... i completely agree with you...i tried to convince one good mataji...in this regard....but she never agrees...to be frank...in my personal life also...i felt the truth of srila prabhupada's statements regarding women...my wife also was surprised in the beginning...even me and my wife had quarelled many many times severely..but still as we made krishna the centre of our lives...i prayed to krishna that she can become humble...now whenever i become very angry ( sometimes) she carefully understands my mood and respects me a lot...in the beginning she was very arrogant...but later on she won my heart several times...she expresses herself very nicely with me and humbly keeps quiet..when i was angry...this attitude had won my heart and we both serve krishna deities properly in our house...i tried to convince my sister ( who is a good mataji and woships krishna, preaches krsna consciousness)...but i failed...because she misunderstood me ...even my sister thinks that my wife stopped expressing herself without knowing the actual situation...but i tried to convince her that my wife is very humble and submissive..thereby she wins my heart everytime very nicely...now we are blessed with a son just 6 days back....please kindly pray for my sister mataji...

        yours servant

        das

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