sukanyā cyavanaḿ prāpya
patiḿ parama-kopanam
prīṇayām āsa citta-jñā
apramattānuvṛttibhiḥ
TRANSLATION: Cyavana Muni was very irritable, but since Sukanyā had gotten him as her husband, she dealt with him carefully, according to his mood. Knowing his mind, she performed service to him without being bewildered.
PURPORT: This is an indication of the relationship between husband and wife. A great personality like Cyavana Muni has the temperament of always wanting to be in a superior position. Such a person cannot submit to anyone. Therefore, Cyavana Muni had an irritable temperament. His wife, Sukanyā, could understand his attitude, and under the circumstances she treated him accordingly. If any wife wants to be happy with her husband, she must try to understand her husband's temperament and please him. This is victory for a woman.
Even in the dealings of Lord Kṛṣṇa with His different queens, it has been seen that although the queens were the daughters of great kings, they placed themselves before Lord Kṛṣṇa as His maidservants. However great a woman may be, she must place herself before her husband in this way; that is to say, she must be ready to carry out her husband's orders and please him in all circumstances. Then her life will be successful. When the wife becomes as irritable as the husband, their life at home is sure to be disturbed or ultimately completely broken. In the modern day, the wife is never submissive, and therefore home life is broken even by slight incidents. Either the wife or the husband may take advantage of the divorce laws.
According to the Vedic law, however, there is no such thing as divorce laws, and a woman must be trained to be submissive to the will of her husband. Westerners contend that this is a slave mentality for the wife, but factually it is not; it is the tactic by which a woman can conquer the heart of her husband, however irritable or cruel he may be. In this case we clearly see that although Cyavana Muni was not young but indeed old enough to be Sukanyā's grandfather and was also very irritable, Sukanyā, the beautiful young daughter of a king, submitted herself to her old husband and tried to please him in all respects. Thus she was a faithful and chaste wife.
--- For getting compilations from Srimad Bhagavatam on regular basis and also quotes from the books of various acharyas which can encourage devotees in their Krishna Consciousness. They are all available at below links:
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/brajsunderdas.
Twitter id: https://twitter.com/Brajsunder_das .
Replies
Dear Chiragji,
Dandvata pranam,
Thank you very much for your loving affectionate & caring reply. There are some devotees whose wives are unchaste. The Husband is a devotee & he is on his dharma of being loyal to his wife. But the wife is attracted to other men & has an extra martial affair. In this cases husband to correct his wife has to accept a heavy role of being a Guru & a Guardian. For the welfare of the wife & her Krishna consciousness and as a matter of disciplining the wife the husband has right to take actions. This situation is in most of the divorce cases i have personally seen in the life of devotees.
The womens must understand that Srimad Bhagavatam is the final authority and it instructs the womens that if your husband is a devotee he must be accepted as Guru & a representative of Lord Krishna. If for any reason they failed to do that & rejects a devotee husband & has an illicit affair then they are on their way to hell. Following are the quotes from Srimad Bhagvatam indicating to accept husband as a Guru & representative of Lord Krishna.
SB 8.17.19
Lord Vishnu to aditi
upadhāva patiṁ bhadre
prajāpatim akalmaṣam
māṁ ca bhāvayatī patyāv
evaṁ rūpam avasthitam
Always thinking of Me as being situated within the body of your husband, Kaśyapa, go worship your husband, who has been purified by his austerity.
SB 10.29.24
Lord Krishna to gopis
bhartuḥ śuśrūṣaṇaṁ strīṇāṁ
paro dharmo hy amāyayā
tad-bandhūnāṁ ca kalyāṇaḥ
prajānāṁ cānupoṣaṇam
The highest religious duty for a woman is to sincerely serve her husband, behave well toward her husband’s family and take good care of her children.
Kaśyapa Muni said: O beautiful woman, O irreproachable lady, since I am very much pleased by your behavior, you may ask me for any benediction you want. If a husband is pleased, what desires are difficult for his wife to obtain, either in this world or in the next?
A husband is the supreme demigod for a woman. The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Vāsudeva, the husband of the goddess of fortune, is situated in everyone’s heart and is worshiped through the various names and forms of the demigods by fruitive workers. Similarly, a husband represents the Lord as the object of worship for a woman.
My dear wife, whose body is so beautiful, your waist being thin, a conscientious wife should be chaste and should abide by the orders of her husband. She should very devoutly worship her husband as a representative of Vāsudeva.
My dear gentle wife, because you have worshiped me with great devotion, considering me a representative of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, I shall reward you by fulfilling your desires, which are unobtainable for an unchaste wife.
SB 7.11.25
Narada to Yudhishtir
strīṇāṁ ca pati-devānāṁ
tac-chuśrūṣānukūlatā
tad-bandhuṣv anuvṛttiś ca
nityaṁ tad-vrata-dhāraṇam
Translation: To render service to the husband, to be always favorably disposed toward the husband, to be equally well disposed toward the husband’s relatives and friends, and to follow the vows of the husband — these are the four principles to be followed by women described as chaste.
Thank you very much.
Your servant
Brajsunder das
Thereafter Satī left her husband, Lord Śiva, who had given her half his body due to affection. Breathing very heavily because of anger and bereavement, she went to the house of her father. This less intelligent act was due to her being a weak woman.
PURPORT
According to the Vedic conception of family life, the husband gives half his body to his wife, and the wife gives half of her body to her husband. In other words, a husband without a wife or a wife without a husband is incomplete. Vedic marital relationship existed between Lord Śiva and Satī, but sometimes, due to weakness, a woman becomes very much attracted by the members of her father's house, and this happened to Satī. In this verse it is specifically mentioned that she wanted to leave such a great husband as Śiva because of her womanly weakness. In other words, womanly weakness exists even in the relationship between husband and wife. Generally, separation between husband and wife is due to womanly behavior; divorce takes place due to womanly weakness. The best course for a woman is to abide by the orders of her husband. That makes family life very peaceful. Sometimes there may be misunderstandings between husband and wife, as found even in such an elevated family relationship as that of Satī and Lord Śiva, but a wife should not leave her husband's protection because of such a misunderstanding. If she does so, it is understood to be due to her womanly weakness.
Hare krishna,
Please accept my humble obeisances. Dear jagadatma das prabhu and brajsunder prabhuji, whatever you posted is completely true...because its from srimad bhagavatam, the spotless purest purana...women with great devotion to the lord will understand srimad bhagavatam ...but not normal people...the main problem is with the vision of the people...Srimad bhagavatam narrates many situations where we must learn and apply properly in our daily lives....i feel unqualified to comment upon the issue of modern women....srila prabhupada can comment...he is jagad guru...i am the most fallen soul....To be frank ...its very tough to find a devotee husband properly with good qualities and can guide the wife, properly respect her feelings, emotions etc...i notice that many men torture their wives ...because they are too materialistic....Hence in devotee couples...there should be proper understanding based on shastra...sadhu and guru...not just out of mental speculation....women are equated with children who require proper nourishment , care, affection, protection...in their material and spiritual lives....That obviously projects men as more responsible, to give full protection to women....women also have responsibilities....to take proper care of husband...children....etc....Men and women are never equal TRULY means that they have different responsibilities with the common goal in krishna consciousness. Artificially, women are equated with men ... which is condemned by srimad bhagavatam...shastras are eternal and are applicable in every yuga...and there are obviously different set up for each yuga as well as yuga dharma....I sincerely hope devotee men and devotee women properly recognize their duties and responsibilities instead of fighting on petty issues and serve krishna...
Das ( The most fallen soul and the dust particle at the lotus feet of vaishnavas)
O Vidura, Devahūti served her husband with intimacy and great respect, with control of the senses, with love and with sweet words.
PURPORT
Here two words are very significant. Devahūti served her husband in two ways, viśrambheṇa and gauraveṇa. These are two important processes in serving the husband or the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Viśrambheṇa means "with intimacy," and gauraveṇa means "with great reverence." The husband is a very intimate friend; therefore, the wife must render service just like an intimate friend, and at the same time she must understand that the husband is superior in position, and thus she must offer him all respect. A man's psychology and woman's psychology are different. As constituted by bodily frame, a man always wants to be superior to his wife, and a woman, as bodily constituted, is naturally inferior to her husband. Thus the natural instinct is that the husband wants to post himself as superior to the wife, and this must be observed. Even if there is some wrong on the part of the husband, the wife must tolerate it, and thus there will be no misunderstanding between husband and wife. Viśrambheṇa means "with intimacy," but it must not be familiarity that breeds contempt. According to the Vedic civilization, a wife cannot call her husband by name. In the present civilization the wife calls her husband by name, but in Hindu civilization she does not. Thus the inferiority and superiority complexes are recognized. Damena ca: a wife has to learn to control herself even if there is a misunderstanding. Sauhṛdena vācā madhurayā means always desiring good for the husband and speaking to him with sweet words. A person becomes agitated by so many material contacts in the outside world; therefore, in his home life he must be treated by his wife with sweet words.
Jai Srila Prabhupada.
Hare Krishna
Dear Chirag ji,
You are the first person I have come across who has so balancedly written an article on the duties of men.
Chirag ji, sometimes its most difficult to do the simplest and most basic work. Its easy to carrry a woman's or a man's mentality, but its rare to carry the mentality of a human being. This is what is becoming rare in todays world. I just hope your reply helps all to get a healthier approach towards marriage as an institution.
namaskaram Zola ji
hare Krsna ,
If we take a wife or husband , we must do so in the knowledge that this material life is one thing and our spiritual wellbeing is another , we must ballance these things , being married is two people working together in Krsna consciousness , marraige is a partnership for life ....no seperation no divorce this is what we promiced our gurumaharaj ji
i completely agree with you chirag prabhuji....what you had said is completely true...
Hare Krsna,
PAMHO.
So sweet Chirag Prabhu. When you want to get married, tell me. I will find you very nice devotee girl.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Rashmi
namaskaram
Hare Krsna Chirag ji ,
you have every qualification to speak and will make a good husband when or if you decide to mary . you speak rightly to say that it is also the duty of the man to serve the wife and also the offspring of the marraige , it is his duty to love , protect and provide the best enviroment possible for the wife and childrens spiritual advancement in return the wife will lovingly support him in his duties .
as you say we should all remember that we are servants and should think how best to serve all around us , the problems arise when one partner is more advanced than the other , in which case it is the duty of the more advanced to gently lead the other .
it is often probematic for the woman if the husband is less advanced , but if she is skillfull she will gently encorage the husband to advance in the right direction .
I hope more young men will develop in their Krsna consciousness like yourself before marraige this will dramaticaly improve the conditions for mataji's in their marraiges and provide a suitable home for the rearing of children .
there is also much that men can do between them selves , if one has a freind or associate who one sees having difficulties , it is also our duty to gently guide that person , to teach them their responcibilities .
this was the position of the father and the Guru , but many times the father and Guru are not close at hand to observe and advise , in which case it is our duty to do so .
matajis also should be there to help each other .
jai sri krsna
hare krishna mataji.....
you are obviously correct....many so called devotees are unable to understand these things and have vague opinions....They dont go through the shastras....they simply mentally speculate and do so called krishna bhakti...which krishna himself dislikes....
dear Rashmi mataji... i had seen your posts....to be frank....its very difficult to find good husbands and good wives too. Srila prabhupada gave instructions to both male and female devotees too.. what we can do is to best follow the instructions of the acahryas...some women are becoming very arrogant at your so called strong words...which are not the actual teachings of srila prabhupada....srila prabhupada's instructions and their practicality are discussed by the devotees here...women are becoming highly arrogant and are arguing with men....which is unwanted...hence i request you to kindly refer to shastras and then give reply....following or not following depends upon the free will of the person...its upto them...when we follow...we will get good results...when we dont follow...we suffer...krishna will be displeased....
-
1
-
2
-
3
of 3 Next