Hare Krsna Devotees,
I am new to KC. My questions may sound silly but thought this is the right forum to ask.
1) I have a desire to travel around the world to different nations and have the feeling that I should have visited and be able to tell, I have visited many countries for leisurely purpose. I know this is some kind of attachment.Will this desire lead to re-birth? If yes, in which form?
2) How does getting influenced by praise of someone to us causes a rebirth to us? I heard this from a devotee.
3) My husband has a travelling job. He is constantly travelling. At that time I am all alone even at home. I fear as to what if something happens to me. In his absence, how should I protect my chastity and safety as a women in this cruel age.
4) Why is cooking and taking care of household given only to women and not men in our scriptures?
5) As a women, I like to remain simple as I believe Simplicity is a virtue. But these days I have observed no one believes in Simplicity and is only concerned in Show-off of their dresses, jewelleries, houses, cars and other achievements. In this situation how I do I maintain Simplicity in lifestyle when people around me look down on me for being simple.
6) There are ancestors of us who have left this world recently, is it sinful to talk of their bad treatment to us during their stay on earth?. Will it affect us in any way? As a pithru, will they curse us and our family?
It would be kind if devotees clear these doubts of mine.
Replies
Can I give my opinion on this?
because all these issues which you posted some of them even I face in my day to day life.
Even I like to wear simple whatever comfortable to me. I don't wear silks. I wear only cotton clothes, and many a time I am dressed up shabbily and sometimes I don't iron the clothes also. My sister- in law ( my brother's wife) she is a well dressed person and always comments me on my poor dressing skills and grooming skills. Neither I prefer branded wear.. If I get anything comfortable even if it is expensive I buy that clothes. Some of my clothes are expensive yet very simple and basic. I don't go by the price tag.. or brand ..I only chose clothing or any other stuff on my preference. Now she went upto the extent that she commented on my husband's salary and and social status.
When I said I am not interested in all these she even insulted me ( though she is small to me in age) saying all this Krishna bhakti you do is only a mere show off basically you don't have that status to wear and you are depressed that you cannot have all that which I have so you are behaving like this.
Fact is that we are not poor neither we are too much rich. My parents are quite well off but when I was in my parent's house also i never wore anything which is not comfortable. The clothes in which I feel most relaxed are only worn then also and now also.
I prefer cotton clothes only becoz it is more breathable and when I feel relaxed I can focus much on important things of life ( Krishna) rather than being self obsessed.
Now I cannot satisfy all.. right? everybody has their opinion and whatever they feel they do. We cannot change whole world. All that we can do is adjust to situations and understand what are our priorities.
A person can wear a branded cloth and more pricey things and could be spiritual also.. without show off. we cannot say they are not having bhakti in them or they are materialist. Now it is their choice and lifestyle.
What we prefer we do that.. We need not change ourselves. You prefer to be simple.. just be yourself.
Smile and let go things.. Think they are not still ready to receive Krishna Consciousness and move on.
One needs to adapt to things which makes you feel closer to Krishna.
Clothes are outer most covering of a body. LOL! we say body is only a covering to the soul what to say about clothes then? Being clean is enough for me.
Now even If I am daughter of Trump( Ivanka) also I cannot wear clothes that don't suit my personality. I prefer comfortable clothes in which I am in my natural state which makes me closer to Krishna.
4) Why is cooking and taking care of household given only to women and not men in our scriptures?
For this mata ji even I also feel sometimes men should involve in household chores...like cooking and taking care of family and children as it is the responsibility of both partners. Ya, but one thing is that.. Men cannot be so loving and caring when compared to Woman. Man can do outside jobs tackle money related problems and think analyticaly and take decisions practically....... in contrast to woman who are sensitive and protective, caring , compassionate and less practical and more selfless......So woman can be a best suited for household works and moreover woman cannot takes so many pressures at the same time maintaining family and outside. For this reason roles might have been divided. But sometimes we do feel right, they should help us in household things..hehehe.. Well, it is nice to have a partner who is cooperative understanding and loving, caring but again not all are upto our expectations.
SO, better keep our expectations low, because expectations are only the cause of all misery. We expect something we don't get what we want and we feel morose and dejected. Be selfless. Have less expectations.
The more you think about your own self you become self- centered and self obsessed and do self- pity and this is all nothing but thinking about self self self ( false ego). If you don't expect and something happens suddenly the joy is 10 times more then expected things Right?
3) My husband has a travelling job. He is constantly travelling. At that time I am all alone even at home. I fear as to what if something happens to me. In his absence, how should I protect my chastity and safety as a women in this cruel age.??
FOR this I must say..one quote " Self-discipline begins with mastery of your thoughts. If you don't control what you think you cannot control what you do."
Avoid negative feelings and keep good positive attitude and keep good company of devotees and as radha mata ji pointed avoid late night staying out.
6) There are ancestors of us who have left this world recently, is it sinful to talk of their bad treatment to us during their stay on earth?. Will it affect us in any way? As a pithru, will they curse us and our family?
Tell me one thing mata ji.. Do you think those who treated you bad are really bad? or it is your own Karma that back-fired on to you , to face such bad treatment?
You have to face some bad people in life out of ur bad karmas. Everything that you come across in this life is all becoz of ur own Karma. Then why to blame others for that. You face them they insulted you they took away you bad karma effect. Accept it and move on. Now you don't do more bad karma by talking bad about them when the person doesn't even exist. They ( Pithrus') don't curse you but then, you are starting a new bad karma. For which you will face again sometime later.
And for your 1st. and 2nd.question..
You like to travel. Nice. Travelling to different places ( makes you meet new people) right? and according to scriptures we don't meet people unless we have an account to settle with them. It is not ur desire to meet. It is the compulsion to complete the Karma with those people and place that made you visit these places.
The force of Karma is very great.
Sometimes we create new attachments also in this way. It is better to make attachments with devotees and go to dhaam's ( Puri, Dwaraka, Mathura, brindavan) Atleast, if you have to meet them again in next birth you are safe as they have Krishna consciousness. If you make new contacts with people we will have to meet them again in next life. Your actions determine you next birth.
Sometimes we meet new people and visit places based on our previous life attachments also, now we cannot be sure if we are completing the unfinished karma or starting a new karma.
It is better to visit dharma kshetras and meet devotees and create good karma rather. Otherwise what friend circle you have now is the result of your past life endeavors only.
Getting influenced by someone's praises and then getting sulky if someone comments about you negatively is all part of false ego. Identifying yourself to this body. Your happiness and your sadness cannot be determined by someone else.
Happiness and sadness are both state of mind. Mind is also made of material thing only. Soul is not made of material things. Now are you considering yourself as soul or the body ??
If you consider yourself as soul then soul has no mind. ( heheehh). If you consider you are a body then you will get influenced by praised or by insults.
You should be happy within urself. Whatever life throws at you happiness or sadness, praise of dejection.. One must remain stable and should not get influenced.
Now rebirth and all we donno which birth you will get.. but it is sure that if you have false ego. Until you lose it we keep taking births.
And your questions are not silly...( smiles) all are natural very genuine and we all face these issues in our day to day life. Only you put it out and we are answering you. But I must say I myself am a prey to false ego most of the time.
I am also not perfect but ya I know it that it is all mind's play but Ya ,,It is always good to keep reminding ourselves. By replying to you I myself am learning a lot.
Thanks once again for asking such questions.
Hare Krishna.
Hare Krsna
In addition to what Radha Mataji has answered we can remember these
No one believes in Simplicity and is only concerned in Show-off of their dresses, jewelleries, houses, cars and other achievements. In this situation how I do I maintain Simplicity in lifestyle when people around me look down on me for being simple.
By not associating with such people or not being around with such people.
This question indicates that there is influence from such materialistic people. But the good thing is that it has been recognized as being a show-off, which is the truth. Simplicity is the first quality of a devotee. Social media like fb, etc are for purpose of show-off. We should try our best to not associate with materialistic people. We best associate with simple devotees who are trying to become Krsna conscious. It is more important in life to be recognized by Krsna than by fake materialistic people. And Krsna always recognizes His simple devotees. Gopis are the simplest and most elevated devotees of Krsna. Vrindavan is a very simple place with trees, river, cows, birds and hills.
I have a desire to travel around the world to different nations and have the feeling that I should have visited and be able to tell, I have visited many countries for leisurely purpose. I know this is some kind of attachment.Will this desire lead to re-birth? If yes, in which form?
Yes, any desire other than to serve Krsna will lead to re-birth. So as Radha Mataji said we travel to dhams like Puri, Vrindavan, Mayapur, Tirupati etc to take darshan of lord and serve the deities.
Hare Krsna
Hare Krsna Bharat Prabhuji
Thank your for your reply. I liked this point,'It is more important in life to be recognized by Krsna than by fake materialistic people'. Agree to this point, but that is what people do not realizing these days and look down upon us if we look simple. Thinking we are materially poor.
Hare Krsna Mataji,
PAMHO.
None of your questions are silly - pls be rest assured. I will try to answer to the best of my ability.
1) Travelling is a passion for a lot of people. You can convert this passion into a Krsna Conscious activity by travelling to dhams, temples (divya desams) and places where the lord and/or His devotees have done pastimes. Then both the requirements are met - your desire to travel and your desire to be Krsna Conscious.
Regarding in what form you will get rebirth because of your travelling - it is not a factor of just one thing. There are so many things involved. Nobody can say for sure. Better not to speculate.
2) Getting influenced by praise of someone - it means we are looking for appreciation for ourselves. That means we are identifying with the body we are in, not remembering that we are soul, living temporarily in the body. ISnt that the root cause of our bondage ? We are sure to take rebirth as long as we identify with the body.
3) By doing all the things a person does when alone - take care of yourself, have your wits around you, be alert and safe at all times. In the name of friendship/ devotion, no need to go to far off places for programs, if it stretches to late night. All the basic practical tips we all have picked up in the modern age.
4) Roles were divided in scriptures, so that together the couple compliments each other. One takes care of earning and the other takes care of maintaining the household. The precise reason you have asked Q3. No man will ask - how do I keep myself safe in the absence of my wife. Because safety is of prime necessity for women.
5) Simplicity is a virtue for sure. You seem to be moving in circles where dress and ornaments are given more importance. If you move in devotee circles, associating with devotees, you will not face this problem. We still look at each other's saree or jewellery and comment - but no one looks down on anyone and no one is jealous.
6) When we talk of deceased ancestors who are not present in front of us in physical body, and we are criticising them - what are we achieving? That soul is not in front of us to defend or give another point of view to the incident being mentioned, on the other hand, by talking ill of the person, you are taking away their bad karma and adding it to your account. At the same time, you are getting a bad name in your family for talking ill about a deceased. Is it worth it?
Please ask if there are further questions. Sorry, have not elaborated any point. If you need me to elaborate anything I have said, please tell me. I will elaborate.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
Hare Krishna PAMHO Radha mata ji.,
I really appreciate this reply it is quite complete and you covered all the topics very nicely. The questions were not silly and your replies to each one was up to the mark and quite educative.
I also have learnt many things from these replies.
Thank you once again for the apt reply. Thanks to the person to have asked such wonderful genuine doubts.
Hare Krishna.
Hare Krishna Mataji,
Thank you for brief reply. I would like to ask some specific doubts related to these topics. Can you share your mail id? If you dont mind.
Thank you once again.
rashmi.khaitan@ril.com
Hare Krsna Mataji,
Thank you Mataji, will mail you soon.