Hare Krishna dear Devotees, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Can wife change a husband? Can she help him so that even if he is little bit less intelligent become the opposite? (and as we know less intelligence means attachment to the body which means trying to enjoy through it, but intelligence means to yearn for spiritual taste as like a bird chakora yearns for the rain water only).
What are the steps?
And is there any example of this from the past?
Hope very much to get very needed answers from each of You!
Thank You!
Your servant, bhaktin maral
Replies
Hare Krishna dear Bhaktin Maral, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Yes, this is what happened in our family. I was a business woman and working as an international designer but in 2008 I surrendered instantly (because of one video of SP that I saw in youtube) and stopped working and stopped my karmic activities gradually.
We don't have any devotee association or temple nearby. I make the house our temple with Srila Prabhupada's mercy.
While I was cleaning from illusion gradually, I also continued to share and preach daily what is happening in my consciousness and what I learned that day with my husband. He was a 'normal' man, meat eater and drinking wine like every italian do. But I shared everything that I learned everyday.
(BTW I became vegeterian before I become a devotee because of mercy and love for the other beings.)
Anyway, in few years, only by the mercy of the Lord, my husband became a devotee and so we didn't have to seperate, and after we became devotees we had a child.
Let me try to explain the 4 years very shortly, as steps from 2008-2013, but before that I want to say that I am not the doer of transformation of Him. It is only with the mercy of the Lord and with the mercy of beloved Srila Prabhupada, our guru, cause I don't have any power, they only accepted my sincere prayers.
1-First you feel hopeless and afraid because you understand that from now on or you have to seperate from your husband, or somehow he has to turn into a devotee. There was no other option.
2-Surrendering and praying to the Lord to make him understand the absolut truth.
3-Very kind, interesting, preaching everyday. Never getting discouraged by the offenses. If I feel hopeless and worried sometimes I prayed and prayed to the Lord. I show videos of Srila prabhupada and He loved Prabhupada.
4-Cooking nice prasadam everyday, made a little photo altar at home. Lunch and dinner he and me ate prasadam.
5-Increasing my rounds.
6-One year after, one day he 'CLICKED' , REALIZED, and he decided to became a strict vegetarian.
7-Things get better. some days I have hope. some days no hope for him but continued to pray for him.
I continued on my path.
8-One year after, He accepted the knowledge and Krsna as God and he said that he loves Krsna.
9-For business he went to India, and he brought me Srimati Tulasi devi, two deities and tulasi beads.
10-I started to learn how to take care of Tulasi devi, how to make Tulasi Puja. Her existence changed our house and I made a bigger altar. Srimati Tulasi devi became my goddess and my sincere and serious worship of Tulasi devi at home, she brought all the fortune and blessings.
11-My rounds reached 16 rouds.
12-I started to learn making arti. I became a better human being by the mercy of Srila prabhupada and by the mercy of devotional service, so my husband interested more in this knowledge and philosophy, because he saw that we became happier when we follow the instructions via books of Srila Prabhupada.
13-My husband started to chant as well.
14-I continuously, chant, read, making service and applied different limbs of devotional service.
15-My husband gave up drinking alchol completely even though he wasn't a drinker.
16-We decided to have a child after 10 years of being together because I understood the meaning of making a child as a devotinal service and we have something to give, to teach.
17-I started to worship Govinda deity and I made a new altar and I started to learn deity worship.
18-One year after that, we have a very pure soul that come to our house as our son, we have the priviledge of having Srimati Radharani near Govinda deity and my husband accepted all the regulative principles much previously and Krsna all this way protected me and my husband from ALL SINFUL ACTIVITIES and He always GAVE US BLESSINGS and NOTHING ELSE. Srimati Radharani and Krsna gave only good things and best fortune. And they created many wonderful miracles and lessons on this path that filled our heart with joy and made us understand better.
So, according to my experience if the woman asks the mercy of the Lord for her husband and if she tries very hard to fully engages herself 24 hours for the Lord, alwyas beg mercy and if she has full faith in the Lord in a surrendered mood, the Lord gave blessings to the family. The Lord accepted my prayer because he knew that this will be the best way for me and for him to render our devotional service and serve to my Guru , Srila Prabhupada through this life time.
But I think that if the person don't have the taste of Bhakti from pervious lifes it is almost impossible to change the consciusness of this person whether he or she is our wife or husband. We can only saw the seeds for future I guess. The essence is to have taste for bhakti and not to desire anything from this material world anymore. These sort of people can be easily engaged in KC.
Your aspiring servant,
A GOOD WIFE. PART 1.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
A GOOD WIFE. PART 2.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
A GOOD WIFE AND A GOOD HUSBAND.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
A GOOD WIFE. PART 3.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
A GOOD WIFE. PART 4.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
A GOOD WIFE. PART 5.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
A GOOD HUSBAND.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS FOR BOTH MAN AND WOMAN.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
Q. HOW IMPORTANT IS IT FOR MEN TO GIVE PROTECTION TO WOMEN ?
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
THE RESPONSIBILITY OF GETTING MARRIED.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MORE THAN ONE WIFE.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 1.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 2.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 3.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 4.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 5.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 6.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 7.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 8.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 9.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 10.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 11.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 12.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 13.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 14.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 15.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 16.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 154. ON FAMILY LIFE AND FAMILY MEMBERS.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 155. ON FAMILY LIFE AND FAMILY MEMBERS.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 156. ON FAMILY LIFE AND FAMILY MEMBERS.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 157. ON FAMILY LIFE AND FAMILY MEMBERS.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 158. ON FAMILY LIFE AND FAMILY MEMBERS.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 159. ON FAMILY LIFE AND FAMILY MEMBERS.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
Q. WHO ARE THE GRHAMEDHIS ? PART 1.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
Q. WHO ARE THE GRHAMEDHIS ? PART 2.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
Q. WHO IS A GRHAMEDHI ?
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Q. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRHASTHA AND GRHAMEDHI ?
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IMPORTANT PRINCIPLES OF GRHASTHA (HOUSEHOLDER) ASHRAM.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
THE GRHASTHA ASHRAM.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
Kindly go through my blog where I have shared my own experience on changing my husband.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/profiles/blogs/changing-my-husband-...
Thanks & Regards
Deepti
Hare Krishna dear Deepti Mataji
Wow!! Felt good after reading your real life experience.
Thank you so much for sharing it. You are truly blessed by Krishna.
Need your blessing Deepti Mataji.
Jai shree Krishna
Dear Mataji Maral,
Please accept m humble obeisances.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
One thing I have heard from spiritual authorities and witnessed personally in my life is this:
One cannot establish religion by irreligion.
So in this situation it means that wife will be able to influence huband if she is acting as a wife, doing her service as a wife, not transgressing the limits of a wife, and in this way trying to inspire husband into spiritual consciousness. He married because he needed a wife and the woman probably also is not immediately a paramahamsa who could just stay in a holy place in a white sari and chant all day. If she acts as a nice wife, that may have impression upon husband, if he is not able to understand anything more. But if she is just trying to instruct him, then he loses that relationship with a wife, and might not be able to digest it. So if the wife is not on the level of Mirabai or somebody like that, better try to maintain family.
Then even if husband will not change, the wife will please Krishna by performing her duties according to her position, and ultimately attain spiritual platform, where she will not need to worry for the husband, because Krishna will be her husband...
I tried to explain the principle here, sorry if it does not touch upon any detail you might need...
Your humble servant,
Madhavi-lata d.d.
Hare Krishna dear Madhavi-Lata Mataji, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
With this You mean to say that before becoming a Vaishnava one has to become a human being.
yes, it is true, mostly problems start when wife becomes a husband. She starts to earn more than a husband, she goes out and associates with other man loosing attachment to her husband to some extent, she wears as like a man, she eats, speaks...controls as like a man and at that time husband feels himself unneeded, useless.
At that feeling leads one for the street life, or into bottle...
how sad!
And the first problem was that wife tried to control him as man do. But she does not know her natural power which is weakness. Yes, womens' weakness is their power. But we forgot about that.
...
You were very true dear Mataji! Thank You so much!
i also wanted to know if husband himself says to wife to earn money and to go out. So what to do in these cases? She has to take care of children and also go out and earn money...than doing all these how she will remain as a wife?
Your servant,
Dear Mataji Maral,
Please accept my humble obeisances.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
I would say, husband needs to do at least some duties of husband. There may be some emergency when they both need work for some time. Or maybe it happens that the wife is more qualified professionally and can earn more, then maybe they can make the agreement that husband takes care of children? Because babysitters and daycares and kindergardens are not so cheap, are they?? And the emotional interaction of the family, which is one of the most important aspects of family life gets greatly reduced if both parents work.
But if the wife has to do everything then what would she need the husband for? Then her husband is more like another kid to her! If the men are irresponsible, then women intelligently ask that what they need the men for and create a feminist movement. Because it is true that better be alone that with a foolish, irresponsible man. But women are not happy alone because they need that interaction. So men also have to do their part...
Your humble servant,
Madhavi-lata d.d.
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