Downfall in Krishna Consciousness

Hare Krishna everyone, dandvat pranam ji. Please accept my humble obeisances.

I am practicing Krishna consciousness from last 3 years. When I was child, I love krishna only by seeing the beautiful pictures of krishna, the serial krishna(Ramanand Sagar.) & other no knowledge. But with the passage of time as i grew up, I forget krishna due to external environment-the great maya force.(energy of Lord). Fortunately in my college time & in my professional field, some experiences has been happened to me with which i feel very much hurted & after that i realised that i forget krishna in earlier years bcoz we are a part of krishna, so we shud remember this. So, immediately I started krishna consciousness with the mercy of my devotee friend. Now I love to sing glories of Shri Radhakrishna.I love to preach. I have read Shri Bhagavad Gita, Now a days reading Shri Bhagvatam. Sometimes my meditation is very good & i feel nectar also..Sometimes i cry (in loving sense) for krishna thinking about the beauty of Shri krishna. Sometimes i cry that krishna wen will you come to take me away from this bondage.I frequently go to vrindavan, Barsane & Goverdhan.I love to do research more & more on the glories of shri krishna, on topics- the creation of world, before creation,etc. My chanting rounds was also gud but now i sing only glories only. But still I want to discuss my following problems which creates so much disturbances in my spiritual Progress i.e. Krishna Consciousness. Please , I request you to help me to sort out the solutions.

I am passing through deep pain. 1. I am following all regulative principles naturally not forcibly except the only one-"Illicit Sex". I have never maintain any physical relation with a girl. But due to wrong association in my earlier years, I got the habit of watching adult content & masturbating & once i have done vulgar chat on phone through online payment .Though i cried a lot after performing such act . I always start practicing again my krishna consciousness activity after feeling guiltiness. This urge start disturbing me always when my meditation in krishna consciousness was so good.This happened to me many times, & i have always started again KC.I request all of  you to please don't misunderstand me.This is very much genuine problem which i m trying to describe you.

2. Secondly, i m very much struggling hard with my career. Previously i was doing job & i have resigned from 3 companies.I always doing my work with full sincerity & dedication but my managers always trying to do controversies with me , defeating , abusing sometimes.They intentionally sometimes provoke me by making fun of me & my spiritual practice.Whenever i tried to counter their answers they make complaints.They pressurized me to leave job.then I started my own business in my field, but still i am unable to earn for livelihood. I have no greed for money.But still i have to earn for my parents who has helped me to this stage so that i can do bhakti. Due to such financial crisis in my home, parents also got irritated so much that sometimes they arguing with me at very heated level against my krishna consciousness. Due to such situations sometimes i say to them that i will leave for vrindavan & will chant the harinaam even without food. I want to respect my parents but due to such situations sometimes i feel uncomfortable even with my parents.But still i can't direspect them bcoz they help me from my childhood to this age.So i always pray to lord to give happiness to my parents.I always pranam my parents in my heart. Even my family members , relatives , cousins all are against me.That's why i have no interest now in family relations..I really want to go vrindavan but i have to do karam also for my parents , to give love to them.It's very complicated situation for me now a days.

3. My Last problem is that I am unable to understand my devotion bcoz as soon as heated arguments done with family, etc. & such illicit behavior, i immediately cried s lot & then start my bhakti again. And all the time i only thinking that what krishna will think about me that how is this devotee. I feel very much nectar in krishna consciousness but still i m unable to understand my devotion.That is "MYSELF".

I also read a lecture of prabhupada ji as follows-

whatever i read in this lecture, i think that i m also in this category.

I request all of  you, to please help me. I am hating myself.Waiting for your reply

Falldown from Spiritual Life
Living with Vows

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  • E-Counselor

    Hare KRsna Prabhuji,


    Firstly, be firm about chanting 16 rounds of mahamantra every single day. No compromises on that. Ideally chant in the morning - between 3.00 am to 7.00 am (see what time works for you).

    I will be blunt with you - please dont mind. I am only trying to analyse the situation from what you have mentioned so that you get another perspective to think about.

    You said you changed 3-4 jobs because of bad behaviour by your bosses. They even made fun of your Krsna Consciousness. If it was more or less the same story everywhere, then the fault may be in you prabhu. Everybody in the world cannot be wrong. Maybe you are not good at handling situations - maybe you get agitated very soon and then cannot control your words or actions. You have also mentioned situations with your parents. Maybe you could examine or get a close friend or even parent to examine and tell you where you are going wrong and what you need to correct. Now that you are in business, it is even more important that you know inter personal relations. As you know, in India, all business is because of inter personal relations, not just the profit mentality.

    Do not carry your devotion on your sleeve prabhu. Do everything, but devotion is internal. Change internally before the symptoms manifest externally (most often we do the reverse).

    I think a lot of your problems will get solved if you get up in the morning and chant nonstop for 2 to 2.5 hours, your 16 rounds at a stretch. It will purify you and give you the strength to face your challenges.

    Prabhu, please refrain from illicit sex. Get married. That will regulate you. Until then, absolute abstinence in every form.

    Prabhu, pray to Krsna to show you direction. He will direct you as paramatma in your heart if you are sincere and chant regularly. It works, I know. You should ideally take only Krsna prasadam and nothing else to eat. That will regulate your temper.

    In a cool moment, sit with your parents and tell them taht your Krsna consciousness is very important to you and is the mission of your life. You would like to take care of them also at the same time because it is pleasing to Krsna. You understand that they are saying harsh words to you because of their concern for you. Assure them that you will take care of them materially by providing for them, and at the same time you expect cooperation from them to follow your KC. Accordingly, get up in the morning and chant 16 rounds, gradually start doing mangalarati (sing only the songs if you cannot perform the full arati) and eat only Krsna prasadam.

    Read Gita with them everyday, as a family and discuss. Whatever you cannot understand, ask. East of Kailash temple has some congregational development program - find out and join. Do all this gently. Your parents are future devotees and how they shape up depends on your behaviour towards them a lot. If you do your sadhana properly, your behaviour will change and they will appreciate that Krsna gave them such a son as you.

    Having said all this, I want to say that I really appreciate your determination to advance in Krsna consciousness and come back each time after a fall. That is the way prabhu, never leave Krsna. Always remember Krsna, never forget Krsna.

    Please take my post in the right spirit prabhu - I am not trying to criticise you. The world is like this and we have to survive in this world.

    Best of luck prabhu. Please be in touch.


    Your servant,

    Radha Rasamayi DD

    • family also interrupts me to meet sanyasis also. Through some person i got to know one sanyasi who is pure. & I wish to meet him, but family denides me they say, that i will take sanyas , etc.They dont allow me to meet.they say that sanyasis will change my thoughts n all. they taking it in negative way.

      • Hare Krishna , 

        Hows is your friend circle, it very important to have have good sang , Be in touch with senior Devotee , You will sure progress , 


    • Hare krishna Radha Mataji,

      Earlier you advised me about my query, I gladly appreciate that, but unfortunately I am again into the trap of maya very severly. My situation is more worse than earlier. I am unable to control my sexual urge( addicting to masturbation). I feel ashamed of myself that I am doing henious acts on internet by chatting vulgar words with opposite sex on skype, etc.I am really feeling very much guilty.Regarding situation with my family, it also became more worse now, they are not understanding me & my sentiments regarding krishna consciousness.I feel lonely in my family. They told me that I am an idiot &  a bad son.They are looking for a gal for my marriage,after 2-3 meeting with different gal, there is no response from gal's family regarding marriage & family blames me that i m the main culprit that i tell my hobbies regarding kc, thats why i m not getting the partner.Family is saying to me that i should not discuss about kc while meeting with partner.Regularly heated arguments are there with me & my family. I am in deep pain & disturbed. I really want to quit my home or life. They are not understanding me emotionally also. My situation is very worse mataji :(. I broked into tears regularly. I think I have lost my bhakti..Please guide me what to do.  Nor, I am able to go darshan sometimes , my family interrupted me not to go frequently. Nobody is supporting me.Due to materialistic environment I got so much lusty desires, I told my family that i dont want to do marriage, I want to quit material life & I want to take shelter under vrindavan dham . They are not understanding me.I have no words to describe my problem.please help :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(                                                                                                                                                                               (Most Most Most fallen soul)

      • E-Counselor

        Hare Krsna Prabhuji,


        Sorry, I saw your post just now only.

        I need to know some more things in detail - can you mail to me separately pls. YOu can write to me on this website mail id or at, whichever is more convenient for you. To advise you, I have to understand why things are going the way they are.


        YOur servant,

        Radha Rasamayi DD

    • Hare KRsna Radha Mataji,


      Thank you so much for advising & supporting me in a right way. I will try my best to follow the guidelines. I appreciate  your way of making understand me.I don't have words to thank you.

      May Sweet Lord bless you with Joy :)

  • I don't have much to suggest but one thing,looking at your profile page tells that you are not fixed in number of rounds,getting fixed up there will help.

    Krishna is giving all these trials to you only to get you totally attached to him as rightly pointed out by dean prabhu through SB.

    You're a great and wonderful devotee in making.Good Luck! 

    • Thanku gaurav prabhuji for supporting me

      Hare Krishna :)

  • SB 10.88.8 — The Personality of Godhead said: If I especially favor someone, I gradually deprive him of his wealth. Then the relatives and friends of such a poverty-stricken man abandon him. In this way he suffers one distress after another.
    SB 10.88.9 — When he becomes frustrated in his attempts to make money and instead befriends My devotees, I bestow My special mercy upon him.
    CC Madhya 22.51 — “Unless one is favored by a pure devotee, one cannot attain the platform of devotional service. To say nothing of kṛṣṇa-bhakti, one cannot even be relieved from the bondage of material existence.
    CC Madhya 22.52 — “ ‘O King Rahūgaṇa, without taking upon one’s head the dust from the lotus feet of a pure devotee [a mahājana or mahātmā], one cannot attain devotional service. Devotional service is not possible to attain simply by undergoing severe austerities and penances, by gorgeously worshiping the Deity, or by strictly following the rules and regulations of the sannyāsa or gṛhastha order; nor is it attained by studying the Vedas, submerging oneself in water, or exposing oneself to fire or scorching sunlight.’
    CC Madhya 22.53 — “ ‘Unless human society accepts the dust of the lotus feet of great mahātmās — devotees who have nothing to do with material possessions — mankind cannot turn its attention to the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa. Those lotus feet vanquish all the unwanted, miserable conditions of material life.’
    CC Madhya 22.54 — “The verdict of all revealed scriptures is that by even a moment’s association with a pure devotee, one can attain all success.
    CC Madhya 22.55 — “ ‘The value of a moment’s association with a devotee of the Lord cannot be compared even to the attainment of the heavenly planets or liberation from matter, and what to speak of worldly benedictions in the form of material prosperity, which is for those who are meant for death.’
    Lord Jesus said : (Matthew 10:37) -"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me".
      • family also interrupts me to meet sanyasis also. Through some person i got to know one sanyasi who is pure. & I wish to meet him, but family denides me they say, that i will take sanyas , etc.They dont allow me to meet.they say that sanyasis will change my thoughts n all. they taking it in negative way.

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