Bhen Ji , Mata Ji ... .. What next .. ?

Hare Krishna ,

These day's and in coming future " Feminism " will be driving force for the society .

Recently i came across many modern female's who were well settled , they have name & fame in society .

They hate word's like sister's mother's i.e Bhen ji and Mata Ji .

They say these word's show's your mentality that you don't consider

women to be on same platform of that of Man .

They often are totally against social uniform code for women ,

they hire the agenda that women can wear anything she like's .

A women should marry the boy of her choice ,be it from same village.

If they dislike these word's , so how to call them ?

Even the ladies of 40's & 50's dislike these word's .

I don't know where is society moving on .

Please comment & suggest also share your experience !

Hari Bol !

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  • Hare Krishna,

    The Bhenji and Mataji are more of cultural stereotypes which were created by school or college kids around 1-2 decades back for bullying girls. This has had a trickle down effect in the society to the extent that calling these names is considered bullying or putting someone down. I would say Mataji is still okay, but Bhenji has considered to have strong undertones of bullying. I mean i know we should not support or encourage any cultural stereotyping of any kind, but some kids made it, what can we do about it. If we know better we know not to fall for them. If those women did not know better, please forgive them for not being englightened enough. You cannot control society as a whole.

    Also when you say "marrying a boy from the village" this sounds pretty contradictory, on one hand you are referring to urban city girls, then why would they marry a boy from the village. Anyways, as far as I know, today more than ever, people are following Astrologers. People are consulting astrologers more and more (not sure if that is really good, but it does make them more aware of these things). Even in urban Modern crowd, people know the fact very well that they are not supposed to marry someone from their gotra. People know these things all very well today. At least that is the case from the society I come from.

    About women and girls dancing, i must say, everyone should have the freedom to dance in the keertans. Its not like anybody is doing bollywood dancing on the hare krishna Dhun. When you are in a keertan the environment becomes such that you just stand up  (sometimes without the awareness of it ) and you Sway to the dhun, it is an expression of your emotions and Bhaav.

    If someone has an issue with a girl dancing then I guess its more of their problem than of the Girl's. It clearly shows that they, while standing in the keertan are getting perturbed by seeing a girl who is dancing on a bhajan for the Lord. I guess its clear enough what i'm trying to say here.

    Dancing is part of Indian culture, people dance on weddings (in this case dancing goes on for more than 1-2 days), people dance in keertans. You can control what goes on in your family and how you want to raise your kids. But You cannot comment on other people's families.

    Bottomline is, the most important part of Bhakti is Tolerance and acceptance. Samta or Samatva. Leave the other's worries for Krishna, we should work on ourselves and our Bhakti.

    Hari Bol.

    • Volunteer

      such an understanding dear Mataji!

      please, tell us Your name! I mean Particle of dust (Mataji) what is Your name?


      Thank You!
      Your servant, 

    • Volunteer

      Hare Krishna Praticle Of Dust Pr.

      True , dancing of girl's on Krsna's Tune is bad only for those who see

      the dancing girl as body . But i think on the other hand,we should not neglect the other angle also ,

      this does not mean to suppress dancing of girl's , they should if they feel for Krsna.

      Actually we still are myopic patient , who only see body , its very required to come out of this mentality.

      I think we should consider totally on soul concept and regard every girl in devotional circle as mother and sister's to overcome this agitation . Even girls outside the deovtional circle should be considered mother's and sister .

      I remember my christian school day's , they made us sing a pledge , which said 

      " All the Indian's are my brothers and sisters " .

      This feeling have gone totally absent now in Indian society .

      Yes , people do not marry with same Gotra, even inter caste marriage for non-devotee is prohibited according to shastra's . I was saying about the affair of girl and boy from same village , what i have learnt from elder's is that girl and boy of same village are considered brother and sister .

      Please pardon me for anything wrong .

  • This change is not actually effected overnight. With due respect to all, it look like our culture got influences due to various reasons as domestic fronts including evil effects of our caste system, our rulers fail to meet the expectations, proper and timely justice to our own people; This factors gave opportunities to various visitors to rule the country, and those people have added fuel to the fire to destroy Vedic culture on ground level. Since then many challenges at individual level fail them on various fundamental aspects. Presently, we are in position to view its effects with much more clarity because of media through which the world is getting smaller. Still various people take a lead to educate people, and finally some of the activities of ISKCON at micro level are trying to reestablish the lost glory; one should focus more on positive side and ignore some incomparable cases. Each individual is important irrespective of the fact of any differences in color, caste or other discretion of man or woman; and let us accept the facts and always think positive to tackle the most difficult challenges & positivity holds power to vanish some of the mismatches.
    • Hare Krishna Bhaktin Mataji and dear devotees

      Looks like the topic has changed.

      May be I am not at that level to understand your email clearly

      But I don't feel anything wrong in simple dancing for krishna. It's not like any women will wear mini skirt and dance on roads (saying that I am dancing for Krishna). If someone is sincerely dancing for Krishna then she will show the proper chastity and etiquette for sure. So how does the question of chastity comes here?

      I adore the Bhakti of Meera Bai and admire  the way she use to sing and dance without caring what the society and her family would say. She considered herself a soul and not a just a female body who should be worried about her body/her singing style/her dance.

      Anyway , apologies( Not sure what proper words to use) if I have said anything wrong and goes against ISKCON philosophies.

      Jai shree Krishna.

      • Volunteer

        my humble obeisances dear Alka Mataji, You understood me correctly. 

        True when one wants to serve to God many obstacles maybe in the form of gossip also can come but what to do???? The best way is we are not able to satisfy each leaf on a tree but Krishna is a root so if we water the root then all will be benefited. 

        nija-bhakti-karam priya-carutaram
        pranamami saci-suta-gaura-varam

        karatala-valam kala-kantha-varam
        mridu-vadya-suvinakaya madhuram
        pranamami saci-suta-gaura-varam

        (5) He who motivates pure devotion unto Himself, who is most attractive to His beloved servitors. By His dramatic dancing He exhibits the characteristics of the King of paramours. He causes the minds of beautiful young village women to dance. I bow down to Gaura, the beautiful son of Mother Saci.

        (6) He plays karatals as His throat emits sweet melodious sounds and the vibrant notes of the vina are softly played. He thus inspires the devotees to perform dramatic dancing that is infused with aspects of His own devotional service. I bow down to Gaura, the beautiful son of Mother Saci.

        Not sitting at home we will become free from lusty desires. Not covering our head we become chaste and free from lust.

        Not this and that! Only way in this age of Kali is to hold up hands too high and cry out the Holy Names of the Lord Gaura - begging for His mercy-Oh Lord, i am suffering in this world, no taste, this world is dry oh Lord, please shower Your mercy upon me! And engage me in Your loving service!!!!..........begging You with tears what else i can do????????...............

        Your servant, 

  • Volunteer

    Hare Krishna Ashwani Kumar Prabhu, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

    It happens because many women loose their protection from the side of father, then husband then son. As a result in order to protect themselves somehow they try to imitate men. In this way they will teach their kids to be so...so generation...

    Solution is society needs perfect brahmacharis, perfect fathers, perfect sons, perfect grand fathers and so on. Perfect means people who are trained strongly in spiritual life so are able to control their mind and senses. When men control their mind and senses women easily obey to them and try to be under their protection. So for them won't be need to protect themselves aqua-ring male qualities. 

    So main problem is lack of spiritual training. Present education system is based on creating newer ideas of agitating minds and senses where as correct way is to train them to control their mind and senses from agitation.

    When men can not control their senses and mind they become like a flour wrapping cloth (please forgive me for this!) so then how women will take shelter of such like men???

    So this ISKCON society is trying to bring back Vedic culture. And train nice brahmacharis, grihasthas, vanaprasthas and sanyasis. And it says that girls usually do not go to Gurukul but remain at home. And if they have spiritually educated parents especially father then they will live in a spiritual environment even at home. And will learn to serve to the Deities, to read shastras, to cook....in this way be protected and later get married and again be protected and later invite a nice son as a child and again be protected....

    To summarize: why present day women want to be equal with men is that they lost protection 1. material; 2. emotional; 3. spiritual; 4. one more i fogot

    Your servant, 

    • Hare Krishna
      Kalyug ka prakop hai Bhai! Aaur western culture ka influence.
      There are ladies who have grand kids and when I call them Aunty , they don't like it.
      When we were kids' I remember calling all elders with respect either Aunty,uncle,didi, bhaiya etc
      Now everybody wants to feel young and gets offended when we call them mataji.
      Things have change so much in a decade. I wonder what's going to happen in next couple of years.
      Worried about the kids of this generation. They have lost their innocence ,easily become irritated, can't tolerate anything. Seeing the teenagers showing middle finger and honking the cars for small traffic jams, I feel pity on them. Only ashraya/shelter to all this is Hari naam which automatically gives peace of mind .
      Let's everybody go out on roads without shame and start dancing and chant Hare krishna shamelessly.
      I wish I could be one of them,but looks I haven't got anybodys blessing(gurus) yet.
      Hare Krishna
      • Volunteer

        Hare Krishna

        Alka Mata Ji,

        True , Things have changed so much in a decade and especially after Internet & Mobile phone's

        have boomed in India like Air . In India when the leader's who make law's watch porn in Parliament we can think of future of India .

        Still there may be some relief by reading today's news :


      • Volunteer

        Jai ho! What a progress dear Alka Mataji! 

        Interesting that it is said by Mataji from India! What i mean is usually when ISKCON Western girls dance in the streets in Harinamas in India they do not accept it as something cultural but as Western.

        So how You came to this conclusion? Is it important for Matajis to be seen "chaste" and do not visit Temple everyday and do not dance even before the Deities out of "shyness" but go out for discos or freely associate with boys in education institutions? 

        Why i am saying is that many times when i was in few ISKCON Temples here in India they say that unmarried girls should not come everyday to the Temple even for Mangala Arati but to do it at home. Also in Ratha Yatras they do not allow to dance even simple dance which taught us Srila Prabhupada. ...but for the sake of being called as chaste and well cultured to sit at home or go out for a job and mix with other people and do gossip whole day. 

        That made me angry and i do not know how to express it and how to solve it. And if that type of mentality is correct.

         Please, forgive me, i am not talking about You. You are a very nice Devotee.

        Your servant, 

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