Hare Krishna.
Due to my loss of health due to dengue I had to start taking non-veg supplements. I prayed to krishna earnestly and somehow by his mercy now I am able to eat vegetarian again, but I am forced to eat onion garlic and my parents will not hear no for an answer.
My mom threatens to leave the house due to my bhakti , she always thinks I'm not behaving well and I am weird. She even left the house once. She is a good person, and loves us very much, but her anger is uncontrollable. It causes me to get agitated and also sometimes angry, which im trying to stop.
My real problem is that suddenly , Maya's influence on me has heightened.
I suddenly have lots of sexual desire.
This led to me falling down three times, very badly.
Even today, I had decided that I wouldnot fall down. The whole day I prayed and tried to be dependent on Krishna. I had made it through the day but because my mother threatened she would leavea again, i lost my composure and commited sin once again.
This makes me very sad that I am not able to maintain my bhakti properly, and I feel sad I can't serve krishna properly, so I started analyzing and seeing what went wrong.
After an hour of writing and thinking, I came to a conclusion.
I have been falling down due to :
a) A Lack of Faith and Trust in Krishna
b) Lack of Love and attraction towards Krishna
c) The ego of being the enjoyer
d) My lack of humility
e) My lack of strength to tolerate Maya.
If any of the devotees would be kind enough to give your mercy to me by guiding me on how to overcome any of these problems, especially about faith and ego, I would be really grateful.
Hare Krishna.
Replies
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
I dont know your age, you appear to be very young. Student? Mother is very insecure looking at you- she is thinking your behaviour is not normal for your age. That is the reason she is being like this.
Please remember one thing - yuor parents, siblings and people around you are future devotees. How soon they will come to devotion actually depends on you. If you are patient and loving, respectful to elders, they are sure to notice the positive change in you and will then secretly start appreciating your path and eventually come around.
Please be patient with your mother. If possible, get up before everyone in the house and complete your rounds. It is normal for us to wake up at 4 am and chant. If possible, please do so. If not, atleast start by waking up 15 min before your normal time, become comfortable with new time, then reset the waking up time to 15 min before the new normal. This way, work your way to waking up at 4 am and chanting.
Tell your parents you like fruits more, milk, milk products, salads more. Help her with cooking a little, so that you have an idea of what goes into each dish and slowly make the without onion garlic ones your favourite. All the while, please be respectful and loving to your mother. If she confronts and asks you, provoking you into getting angry, saying she knows what you are doing, tell her peacefully that isnt is the right thing to do? Would she rather he gets into wrong company, drinking or smoking or taking drugs? Isnt this a cleaner, healthier path? Remember, whenever you reason, you have to keep a very even reasonable open tone. If you are authoritative, or defensive or get angry, you have lost the argument. To keep yourself calm mentally, you have to do very good chanting. So we come back to chanting good rounds when everyone is asleep. Chanting time, please chat with Krsna, baring your heart, saying you are facing this difficulty, please help. You will be amazed at the ways He can and will help. This will automatically cement your faith in Him and in the chanting process.
Take one step at a time prabhu. Dont expect results overnight.
To overcome lust, maybe switch off all digital/ social media by say 8 pm. Then you will get good sleep as well. Do some physical exercises to tire you. This will again result in good sleep.
I have learnt one thing - whatever obstacles we face in devotion is simply to make our resolve towards devotion stronger. When we become strong in devotion, that same obstacle either disappears or it stops bothering us. Life is all about converting an adversity into an opportunity. Use this obstacle to surrender more and more unto Krsna and see His mercy unfold. It is for you alone to experience it.
Best of luck prabhu, please remain in touch.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
Hare Krsna prabhu,
Sad to know you have such controlling parents. If they are making you increase your sins ultimately you will only suffer and later they; because every sin has a future. So make them understand it. And whole family relationship is based on selfless love, if they cant respect your idealogy and sacrifice their expectations, why you sacrifice your purity? Cutting karma is not an easy job.
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
In my opinion , please chant the holy names of lord govinda in secret . Like you can chant the holy names within your heart . Don't reveal that you are chanting , to people who are non devotees . I am able to give this advice as I'm chanting holy names secretly because all the people around me are non devotees . It works. Let your mother feel that you are not chanting . No problem. But secretly chant at any cost . Never ever stop chanting.
Don't get scared and disappointed in your failing attempts. Keep chanting, holy name will take care of you. Have faith and keep chanting .
Eat only krsna prasadam . Offer the vegetarian food on your plate to lord govinda and then have .
Chant Hare Krsna and be happy
Thankyou for your knowledgeable words Mataji . Please accept my heartfelt gratitude :D .
Thanks !!
Hare Krishna
All the best prabhuji . May your loving devotional service unto lord Gaurahari be intact at any cost . Be strong and chant the holy names .