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i have a cousin bro who lost his mom and his dad got married thrice after the wife died but my bro is suffering and the relatives don't support him no one is intrested talking to him i am the only one who talks to him but he asked me a question that why is he suffering what can i tel him ?

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  • Volunteer

    Hare Krishna dear Devotees, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

    Yes, Devotees are saying right please Bhavika Mataji You be a nice sister for him!

    And yes, it is not like only he is suffering in this world.

    Everyone of us this way or other suffering so much.

    Some one may be beautiful but no money and no friends, or parents are bad. Or born in bad country...

    Some may be rich but not able to control his senses so indulges in sense gratification, eats too much, becomes fat, sick...

    Some may be educated but less life span or no friends, no family life...

    In this way all and everyone in this world suffer to that extent that we start to cry.

    So it is Mother Durga with her tridand pushes us and brings us 3 types of miseries and her message is divine:


    So all these sufferings are her mercy only.

    If we were happy in this world then it would be very difficult for us to chant the Holy Names as like a crying child for his mother.

    We live very little - around 60-80 years and that is like 2 days for Demigods. So Demigods are envious of people of Kali yuga. Because these people are going back to Home to Goloka within 2 months by simple dancing, chanting and eating Prasadam.

    So in one sense we are very fortunate. We need to be little bit tolerant. And very soon we will be with Krishna.

    Your servant,

  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna Mataji,


    I am so sorry to hear about your cousin. How old is he? Regardless, it is quite a pain to be without an emotional anchor at a young age.

    When he is asking you - why am I suffering? there is no straight answer to it that will satisfy him. You tell him to chant and pray to Krsna and to ask Krsna why he is suffering so much. Recently, one of the girls known to me lost her father in very tragic circumstances and the family is literally almost on the streets now. She has just completed Class 12 and she asked me the same question. I told her what I told you just now. She came back to me and said - mataji I asked Krsna why am i suffering so much. I got an answer back. The answer I got was - you are nobody special that you should not suffer.

    That is the answer mataji, but we have to arrive at it ourselves. If some one else tells us, it sounds really really harsh and we get offended or switch off completely.

    You be an emotional support for this boy and try to help him in every which way. Preach to him such that he can start chanting 4 rounds of the mahamantra everyday and read Bhagavad Gita everyday. Tell him to write on this forum asking his questions or to ask you.

    I pray for the poor kid.


    Your servant,


    • 21 yrs old bt he lost his mom 3 yrs b4 n i jst tokd 2 him nw aftr a long tym

      • E-Counselor

        Hare Krsna Mataji,


        21 is not that young, still it can be quite shattering to lose one parent to death and another to multiple marraiges.

        The answer is the same, tell him to chant 4 rounds atleast, read Gita everyday. Tell him Gita will answer all his questions. He should read once even if he doesnt understand. Second time onwards, he should read and try to understand. What he doesnt understand, he can note down and ask around from devotees. Make him meet some senior devotee of your local temple to inspire him and guide him.


        Best of luck,

        His bad luck could be a blessing in disguise - if takes to the path of going back to godhead.

        Tell him - God gives us bitter experiences to make us better, not to make us bitter.


  • Relate to him your experience. It won't be of much help anyone elses. Tell him what worked for you, or didnt work, if anything did work. And word it as such, from your experience. So any ideas you give him don't really spring forth from you, but arise in him. That is all i would say. What else can we do but share our experience. I feel for him.

    Much love

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