My parents are living on rent in a very old home with some other tenants. They have to suffer rain, summer due to open roof. My mother in law is enjoying her life after my marriage she is at home and goes to ISKON temple nearby daily and that temple in every 2 or 3 days offer dinner. My mother in law eats there and me my husband and father in law eat simple dal roti at home and sometimes basi roti due to leftover roti of lunch. She doesn't care what we eat she only focuses on delicious food at tempple which is provided in every 2 or 3 days. My mother on the other hand works for their survival wales up at 5 am and comes from school at 3PM cooks food and does household work. She gets tired due to age affect even facing hardship due to very old home. What is this she is enjoying in temple and my mother is suffering no such temple is there moreover she is bound in so many problems.
Moreover whenever i share these things me or my family suffered from illness or some other problems don't know why?
Replies
PAMHO.
I read all the posts here in this thread. Your situation is really sad and I can completely understand your questioning. Like all things, one has to arrive at the answers oneself. We can help - but you will be convinced only when you arrive at the answers.
Why the difference between the fate of your mother and your mother in law? Nobody knows except Vidhata. Trust him, everything will be good. If there is struggle today, it is for a purpose. The one thing to remember is - this world is dukhalayam ashaswatam - temporary and full of miseries. Nobody has come here and gone back happy. Everybody has their share of struggle, time frame and degree may differ. Only thing certain is everyone has to suffer.
Regarding your mother in law cursing you - I can understand how you feel. At that time, think of Krsna, keep your mouth shut and move away from that place. Since you are the only earning member, ensure she doesn't get any money for her expenses. There are ways of controlling such people mataji. Every way is not straight forward. Next time she has an unreasonable financial demand, don't say anything, don't fulfill. If she curses, move away. It doesn't matter. If you are not able to take it anymore, calmly answer her back - if you think this expense has to be incurred, please arrange for the money. I cannot afford it and I have not come here to take over all financial responsibility of your house. That is not my job.
Regarding housework and taking care of child, please take help from your husband. There is no choice - he has to chip in. PLease avoid old father in law doing menial work. I am sure your heart also bleeds.
Like Gayatri mataji said, each to his karma. Whatever she is doing is her karma, what you do is your karma. At the end of life, you have to give hisaab - at that time nobody will see your circumstances. The only thing that will be seen is - you did not do this at that time....so concentrate on improving your karma.
In the middle of all this, you have to chant atleast 4 rounds to maintain your sanity. Even if you think your MIL is not a devotee, doesn't matter. What is stopping you from becoming one? Life is giving you enough beatings for you to become one.
If she swears at you again, simply tell her calmly that you will not tolerate. If she wants to swear, then you will move out. Your husband has a choice, whether he wants to stay with you or her.
I would like to know what is your husband's reaction to her behavior? Does he understand your situation or he is the ideal Indian son - BLIND to mother? You don't fight your battles, make him fight for you. Then she will not be able to say anything.
Best of luck dear.
Hang in there - these times will not last. Meditate on BG 2.14 - matra sparsastu kauneya.....this shloka has helped me a lot.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
What you see today is a part of this life time. You can at the max. go back into past and see what they did in past of this life time to have faced these conditions in life.
God knows a person's past, present and future lives.. and according to the karma done when the time is conducive to suffer pains Lord gives them suffering to just finish it off.
A devotee knowing this will undergo the results of his bad deeds done in the past and always has faith in Lord.
It is with faith only that anyone can overcome and get strength to overcome these hardships and get over that phase.
Today ur mother in law is enjoying her life in temple.. Why is that you, ur father in law or your husband who are living close by to that same temple not able to move ahead along with her and attend the same temple???
its the karma prarabdha karma which is so strong that it keeps pulling the person back for doing good activities..
Never feel jealous of any devotee as they are completely under shelter of Lord and it will effect you only adversely if you keep on thinking negatively about them..
Whatever your parents are facing due to poverty is their karma let them complete it.
I know you are so good daughter you want ur parents also to be happy and enjoy life at this old age ..It is natural emotion of a daughter to sympathize with her own kith and kin.
I suggest you and ur entire family also accompany ur mom in law to temple and get the taste of bliss what she is experiences (without getting jealousy )that she alone is enjoying there..
Is there any restriction that you all shouldn't go along with her????
As far as ur parents are concerned i totally feel bad for them but its like this..
no person is always happy or always sad.. sukha and dukha keep coming and going like seasons in life.
today they are sad, old and poor but sometime back they had a good life....maybe not in this life maybe past lives..
When Lord feels this time is appropriate for them to suffer for the bad karma which they did He gives them suffering....
But you shouldn't compare. Everyone in this kaliyuga is suffering in some way or the other.
some are suffering physically, some mentally, some emotionally and some financially.
No one is happy with his or her life..
ONLY HAPPY PERSON in this Kaliyuga..... IS THE ONE WHO FORGETS ALL THIS SUFFERING AND MERGES ONESELF WITH SUPREME LORD and finds happiness in serving Lord.
If possible make ur mom and dad a strong devotees and make them know the higher taste of Krishna consciousness so they forget all their present sufferings and enjoy the bliss of serving lord instead.
There is no good or bad people...those who look good now.. ... in past life could have been a bad person a rogue.....( pardon me).. today becoz of poverty they might look good to you.. as you just see their present life and deeds only but....Lord knows past present and future lives of the person and so He only knows who is really good who is really bad.
Hare Krishna.
If i am taking all responsibility of the house isn't she is supposed to take care of my daughter. Whether god says that leave all responsbility and a small child at home and come in temple?
She eats in the temple when lavish dinner is organised like puri sabji halwa chawal. Whem simply dal chawal is offered she doesn't eat in the temple.
Moreover she goes to the temple and asks my father in law to clean all kitchen and jhute bartan.
And she is the one who has cursed me 2 years agao like randi, kutiya, kamini, manhus.
Now you tell me is she right in her doings and why i should not feel jealous. Please guide.
I have profound sympathies for you. You are leading a very tough life.
Hope you have a better future..
When our time is not conducive to us.... every word spoken looks like a cuss word.
I donno how to sympathize with you more.
In kaliyuga.... there is no good or bad people like in sat yuga and treta yuga there were good people then they were demons. two kinds
but now in this kaliyuga every person is lodging within him 50% goodness and 50% bad
so u cannot label anyone this person is good this person is totally bad becozzzzzzzz people are operating in different modes of material nature.
One momment they are operating in satva guna other momment in rajo guna and the same person is operating in tamo guna .....
Like you mother In law for example..
She is having satva guna she is going to temples and wants to work their in temple kitchen and do service to Lord....consume prasadam participate in kirtan.
other momment she is cussing you to be manhoos etc.. she is going into tamo guna.. She likes to eat tasty rich prasadam at that time she is entering into rajo guna phase.
Overall i will say one thing pls. listen..
let her say anything just give a deaf ear and do ur karma complete this bad period.
AND MAYBE BECOZ OF UR Mother inlaws pious activities are saving you and ur family from more big misfortune.... Who knows??
when the time is complete bad for us.... we must never lose faith in Krishna.
Hope and faith is must to cross this bad period.
If you have no time for going to temple as you said you are working.. then just pray to lord mentally and just chant atleast 4 rounds.
God never said to leave any responsibility she is wrong too she should be a helping hand for you....
See what is the quality of a sandal wood tree u know?
it is always enveloped by poisonous snakes.. even though it is always surrounded by snakes and the vish ( poison).....The sandal wood never lose its fragrance.
one must learn that...
However bad situation might be if you don't lose ur in built natural tendency to be good, kind and humble nature..... even when cussed
then you are loved by Lord.
Its ur testing period.. Lord tests you patience now.
What she does is her Karma.. What ever you do how you react to her is ur karma
If she does bad to you she will suffer but don't make and add one more bad karma in ur account by bad mouthing about her.
i know you are like me.. even i like to share my sufferings to people... I get some relief by doing so..
But just avoid this feeling of being jealous
let her do her karma she will face her ends..
May lord Sri Krishna help you.
to just boost ur confidence that Lord always is with you. never forget HIM. In bad times friends , relatives all leave you but only one supersoul ( parmathma) is always with you and has never left you.)
One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."
read that above story and see Lord is carrying you over HIS shoulder to make you complete this difficult phase.. Have faith in lord.
Just keep chanting 4 rounds atleast start from today and you will notice a change.... you will urself start appreciating even teeny tiny bit of Lord's help.
Hare Krishna.
what kind of mother she is that she didn't care about her son and at that time we are in huge loan of rs,2-2.75 lakh.
And now when she become devotee of Lord krishna just for enjoyment she is not a real devotee. Lord krishna helps her. Whenever i got fed up with her i suffered from a disease or some other problem or my family my parents suffer from disease or some other problem and god always supports her.
Yesterday she ate chicken in the morning and in the evening just toothbursh her teeth and then again went to temple.
Let the enjoy her good time.
as i told previously sukh and dukh come and go like seasons..
now she is enjoying there will a time when she will suffer also.
Everyone has to face his or her karma at some point of their life.
I will pray for you and also you too chant 4 rounds daily.
and pls. give a deaf ear to all and continue doing ur regular duties.