I was married in a Krishna temple in 1988. But because my wife and I were never initiated, the temple authorities wouldn't let us have a fire sacrifice, nor would they allow Prabhupada's murti to stay in the temple room. I considered this petty at the time but let it go without any argument. Today, 25 years later, my wife and I are still married while many initiated devotees have since been married and are now divorced. My wife and I are both spiritually-minded, but are hardly surrendered souls. The point is, we're still together. So leading a spiritual life isn't necessarilly the solution that leads to having a successful marriage.

People don't usually marry out of love. They marry for what the other person can do for one's ego. Real love develops by learning how to put up with each others foibles, and with the passing of each year and then each decade, real love and caring develops for the other person.

- Thomas

Vsevolod Kuzmenkov March 13, 2013 at 2:05pm

I have more than 20 years marriage life and my experience is a realization of one phrase of Shrila Prabhupada. He said in one of his purports if a husband and a wife served Krishna together their marriage would be happy. My life proves it.

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Shravn Prabhu > Vsevolod Kuzmenkov March 14, 2013 at 1:27pm

Not all are blessed with matajis that are willing to do that. Generally women are less intelligent and usually want their husband to serve them, instead of encouraging husbands to serve Krishna.

Most men, skip Sankirtana and Harinam Nagar Sankirtan, stay home, disobeying their guru, misguided by their less intelligent wife, wanting their husbands to be at their beacon call, serving her and children. Husbands/Men are doing this kind of nonsense all for the sake of a little bit of intimacy.

Men addicted to such sex life are doomed and can never progress in obtaining Krishna Prema until they realize that addiction to sex life is cause of their suffering, even in this very life.

SB 4.28: Purañjana Becomes a Woman in the Next Life

SB 4.28.1

nārada uvāca

sainikā bhaya-nāmno ye
barhiṣman diṣṭa-kāriṇaḥ
prajvāra-kāla-kanyābhyāṁ
vicerur avanīm imām

Word for word:

nāradaḥ uvāca — the great sage Nārada continued to speak; sainikāḥ — the soldiers; bhaya-nāmnaḥ — of Bhaya (Fear); ye — all of them who; barhiṣman — O King Prācīnabarhiṣat; diṣṭa-kāriṇaḥ — the order carriers of death; prajvāra — with Prajvāra; kāla-kanyābhyām — and with Kālakanyā; viceruḥ — traveled; avanīm — on earth; imām — this.

Translation:

The great sage Nārada continued: My dear King Prācīnabarhiṣat, afterward the King of the Yavanas, whose name is fear itself, as well as Prajvāra, Kālakanyā, and his soldiers, began to travel all over the world.

Purport:

The period of life just prior to death is certainly very dangerous because usually at this time people are attacked by the weakness of old age as well as many kinds of disease. The diseases that attack the body are compared here to soldiers. These soldiers are not ordinary soldiers, for they are guided by the King of the Yavanas, who acts as their commander-in-chief. The word diṣṭa-kāriṇaḥ indicates that he is their commander. When a man is young, he does not care for old age but enjoys sex to the best of his satisfaction, not knowing that at the end of life his sexual indulgence will bring on various diseases, which so much disturb the body that one will pray for immediate death. The more one enjoys sex during youth, the more he suffers in old age.
- Reena Rai > Shravn Prabhu March 15, 2013 at 12:35am
  
  hmmm, didn't know having responsibility towards ones family is - "being less intelligent" :D
  
  I think there are phases in everyones lives and one must live and abide them as needed. For instance, when one has family - particularly children, wouldn't it be abandoning them if you simply leave them and go to temple to do Krishna bhakti or whatever and are there ghosts residing at your place that you have to goto temple to do bhakti and cannot pray to god at home ? Simply giving birth to a child or a "boy" isn't enough and wouldnt make him any smarter. One needs to sit with that child, talk to him and teach him in order to make him a good man; abandoning him for Krishna is not going to help anyone.Yes, once that child is a grownup and independent, then is the time to turn and do Krishna bhakti or devote oneself to any god. One must not drop their responsibilities in the name of bhakti - it kind of makes others doubt religion as well.

Volunteer

Gopal das March 9, 2013 at 5:10pm

INSPIRATION, REALIZATION, COUNSELLING AND DEITY DARSHAN.

http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...

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Shravn Prabhu March 6, 2013 at 11:06pm

Biggest problem we face is wife's unwillingness to be in submission.

Husband and wife are one body and both should treat that way, with husband as the head.

Rest of the body must follow the head. If not head cannot get anywhere but waste energy persuading the rest of the body to follow the head.

Imagine you want to walk in a direction and one of the legs wants to go in a different direction.

No longer the marriage be real, as a union if this continues. Then it becomes a business, you do this for me and I do this for you. Love (unconditional love) cannot exist in a business.

For those who want to experience real Love in marriage, a wife must be in submission to her husband.

Prabhupada said, that in the west women are cheated. Here are the exact words.

"I may explain that how foolish women are being cheated by intelligent men. In your country (referring to the western country USA), they have given you liberty. Liberty means equal rights, is it not? Man and woman have got equal rights. But you women, you cannot see that this so-called equal rights mean cheating the woman. Now I say more clearly that a woman and man meets. Now they become lovers. Than they have sex, and the woman becomes pregnant, and the man goes away. The simple woman, she has to take charge of the child and beg from government alms. 'Please give me money.' This is your independence. Do you think it is very good independence? They are cheating you and you are thinking you are independent. (...) In India, although they are poverty stricken, still, they do not remain independent. They remain under the husband, and the husband takes all responsibility. So she has neither to kill the child nor got to beg for maintaining the child. So which is independence?"

New York Times reports:

By Gardner Harris

Published: May 13, 2009

WASHINGTON — Unmarried mothers gave birth to 4 out of every 10 babies born in the United States in 2007, a share that is increasing rapidly both here and abroad, according to government figures released Wednesday.

Jaya Gopal dasa > Shravn Prabhu March 16, 2013 at 11:12pm

That's great advice: the wife must be submissive to the husband. That will only work if the husband acts in a way to be worthy of respect. Just to demand respect and at the same time acting improperly to wife and/or children will not do.

Jaya Gopal das
Reena Rai > Shravn Prabhu March 13, 2013 at 8:01pm

If Prabhupada really said this - Gosh, how ignorant was he! In India, every 4th minute a woman is raped - as reported in leading news. and Indian men are most certainly not leading to be good to their woman either. In USA, at least the woman can take care of her child if the man walks away; in India, she abandons them on someones doorstep or runs away leaving them behind - as also had been reported in news. So, this argument is certainly not a good one and will not make any marriage last in these current times.

Marriage is like a table with 4 legs - friendship, respect, trust/honesty and love. If either of these is missing, the table is wobbly and more than one missing makes the table fall!

Forum

What are ways by which we can make our marriage life succesful - materially and spiritually ?

Replies

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 1.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 2.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 3.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 4.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 5.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 6.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 7.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 8.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 9.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 10.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 11.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 12.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 13.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 14.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 15.‏

MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 16.‏

NSPIRATION, REALIZATION, COUNSELLING AND DEITY DARSHAN.

SB 4.28: Purañjana Becomes a Woman in the Next Life

SB 4.28.1

INSPIRATION, REALIZATION, COUNSELLING AND DEITY DARSHAN.