Hare Krishna all,
All glories to Srila prabhupada!
I dont know why even after trying hard Iam unable to get taste in chanting just doing like austerity.
I am chanting regularly and leading life as per instructions. I know material things cant bring happiness
but I am loosing interest in spirituality because of my rebelous nature. I dont want joy and miseries of material nature neither I want to undergo austerities and practices of spirituality Just I want become void and dont exists anymore neither in the material nor in the spiritual world. Does krishna make a soul dissappear and dont exists any more? I've heard in one of the lectures saying this can be done by merging into bramhan aspect of bhagawan i.e. his effulgence,But again there is a chance of falling into this material world eventhough bramhan is spiritual because of no service over there the soul will fall into material world and does some philanthrophic work. How come we are existing from eternity and
we are tossing between spiritual and material worlds. To change by ourself is very difficult why dont krishna remove our freewill and take us back to home. I dont want this freewill which is bringing so
much trouble to my existance instead I prefer to lose my identity.