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Vaishnav apradh

Posted by Vivek on October 9, 2025 at 9:24am in Vaishnava Aparatha

Prabhu ji,... Mata jis 

Please anyone please help me 😭..

I committed very big vaishnav apradh against all devotees

I took oath of all devotees , brajwasi ji , srila Prabhupada ji, that I will never do masturbation... If I do please never forgive me at any cost and give me problems ... I am 18 yrs old ... I accept I gave so many times oath and broke them  many times ... But what I could do ..? I was not old enough to control ... But this time I gave so much strongly promise .... But I broke it again 😭😭😭😭😭😭.. I committed very very big offences ... I am really destroyed totally materially, spiritually, mentally. .... I asked sorry to every devotees but unable to come out of this apradh .. please say what I shall do ... I am getting really fear .. my hands and legs are shaking ... I getting dreams my ancestors are suffering in hell ... This masturbation totally destroyed me into pieces ... Before I could start bhakti every finsihed for eternity 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔

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Replies

    • Vivek > Gayatri October 20, 2025 at 9:34am

      Hare Krishna mataji 🙏 🙏, i completed damodar astakam ji , today I will try to chant more rounds ji

      • Vivek > Vivek October 20, 2025 at 9:34am

        I watered tulsi maiya ji 🙏 

    • Vivek > Gayatri October 19, 2025 at 2:33pm

      https://www.speakpipe.com/msg/s/434397/9/fiy1en1y2xtcpx5g

      https://www.speakpipe.com/msg/s/434397/10/891pko98pv8jy3hw

      Mataji in speakpipe maximum record time is 90 seconds so i recorded 5 verses in first and 3 in second 

        • Vivek > Gayatri October 21, 2025 at 9:24am
          1. Harekrishna mataji 🙏I completed 5 rounds yesterday, 
          2. I also donated food to someone 
          3. Today I want to do 5 rounds 
          4. Today I will offer my little seva to braj dham seva trust 
          5. I watered tulsi Maiya ji mataji 🙏
            • Vivek > Gayatri October 22, 2025 at 9:39am

              Harekrishna mataji 🙏 🙏 

              I watered tulsi maiya ji 

              Yesterday i completed 6 rounds mataji 🙏 

              I offered my seva to iskcon vraja dham seva 

              Today also i will try to complete 6 rounds mataji 🙏 

                • Vivek > Gayatri October 23, 2025 at 8:47am

                  Harekrishna mataji 🙏 

                  1. I watered tulsi maiya ji 

                  2. Yesterday i completed 6 rounds 

                  3. Today I will try to do 7 rounds 

                  4. I will try to learn any bhajan for Krishna ji mataji 🙏 

                    • Vivek > Gayatri November 3, 2025 at 11:09am

                      Thank you so much mataji 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏. Yes mataji i started reading the next book.. jai ShreeKrishna ji 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

                    • Gayatri > Vivek November 3, 2025 at 11:08am

                      You are doing great. Keep going

                      did you read the next book?

                      start reading

                      Jai Shree Krishna

                       

                       

                    • Vivek > Gayatri November 3, 2025 at 9:46am

                      Sorry for late update mataji 🙏 

                      I offered water to tulsi maiya ji 🙏

                      I offered diya to tulsi maiya ji today 

                      Yesterday i completed 8 rounds mataji 🙏 

                      And I am reading the book mataji 🙏 

                      I didn't pluck Tulsi ji leaves mataji as today is dwadashi ji

                      Today also i will try to do 8 rounds mataji 🙏 

                      Harekrishna 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 

                       

                    • Vivek > Gayatri November 2, 2025 at 10:15pm

                      Thank you so much mataji 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 really it means alot ji , i will try to keep it up mataji 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 harekrishna 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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