Vaishnav apradh

Prabhu ji,... Mata jis 

Please anyone please help me 😭..

I committed very big vaishnav apradh against all devotees

I took oath of all devotees , brajwasi ji , srila Prabhupada ji, that I will never do masturbation... If I do please never forgive me at any cost and give me problems ... I am 18 yrs old ... I accept I gave so many times oath and broke them  many times ... But what I could do ..? I was not old enough to control ... But this time I gave so much strongly promise .... But I broke it again 😭😭😭😭😭😭.. I committed very very big offences ... I am really destroyed totally materially, spiritually, mentally. .... I asked sorry to every devotees but unable to come out of this apradh .. please say what I shall do ... I am getting really fear .. my hands and legs are shaking ... I getting dreams my ancestors are suffering in hell ... This masturbation totally destroyed me into pieces ... Before I could start bhakti every finsihed for eternity 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔

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Replies

                    • Harekrishna mataji 🙏 

                      I watered tulsi maiya ji 🙏 

                      Yesterday i did 8 rounds mataji 

                      I am still  reading the book on the way to Krishna, mataji after completing surely I will take the next book ji 

                      Today also i will try to do 8 rounds mataji 🙏

                    • Ok mataji 🙏 🙏 🙏 harekrishna 🙏

                    • keep taking medications and do 8 rounds, pour water to tulasi and read next book.

                      hare krishna

                    • No mataji i didn't fully complete reading the book ,i will complete it , and i will take the next book mataji 🙏

                    • My health  improved while taking medicines mataji , yesterday I completed taking medicines, but today again I am feeling the same , 

                      Mataji I will do 8 rounds today, harekrishna 🙏🙏🙏🙏

                    • Hare Krsna Mataji

                      Pls don't say you are nothing. That is sunyavaada. Everyone is something. 

                      Hari bol

                    • okay how is your health?

                      you are not shaking?

                      hope it is improving

                      do 8 rounds .. 7 is not an even number do  8 per day. 

                      keep reading on the way to krishna are you done with the book? it is just  4-5 pages book I guess.

                      Take next book after this  -  https://vedabase.io/en/library/cabh/

                      Tulasi maharani circumbulation and pouring water is must.  

                      I am nothing but Tulasi maiyya gives blessings and removes all obstacles to meet Krishna.  Seek HER blessings. 

                      hare krishna

                    • Harekrishna 🙏

                      Yes prabhuji, it is because of matajis blessings that I am progressing in this path . Really ji matajis blessings never fail ..

                      Haribol 🙏🙏🙏🙏

                    • Hare Krsna Vivek Prabhu ji

                      It brings glad tidings to my heart to see your progress under the able guidance of mataji.

                      It is true that her blessings will never fail.

                      Hari bol

                    • Harekrishna mataji 🙏 

                      I completed 7 rounds yesterday 

                      Today I will try to do 8 rounds mataji 

                      And I am reading the way of chanting and knowing Krishna 

                      I am offering my little seva to iskcon braj dham seva trust ji 

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