unable to solve confusion and trauma in life

hare krishna

i had completed electrical engineering and wanted to get a central government job.this was my aim two years before and i prepared for Gate exam and ESE exams. my preparation are not enough in the first year and therefore i failed.i never gave up. and i wanted to do it one more time as it was my habit to try and achieve. but whatever i think in my mind i am not able to put into use.every great thoughts appeared to me but was not useful to me in anyways.i faced my own guilt for not succeeding in any exams that i have attempted. during my preparations i start things great but end in a utterly fruitless ways. my mind keeps on wandering thinking about the future life. it thinks like getting job in government and it thinks on having a beautiful wife and so on. all these were good at one stage but after it worsened my conditions and made me to grieve for those things that i am to loose if i didn't get a job. after all these trauma of my mind i  found myself watching Mahabharata in TV  one day.then after i started to read about spirituality and quite soon i was able to read Bhagavat Gita online and it attracted me so deep and i heard all slokas and explanation in tamil by downloading them. i felt at peace and started thinking on it and my birth.i wonder i failed many govt exams for job in 2 years to read holy gita.

In my personal life i am the child who was born to my parents after 12 years of marriage and my parents tell me that for begetting me they observed austerities to lord karthikeya(lord muruga in tamil).since my childhood i pray to kuladevata and lord karthikeya and i am able to shine in studies and sports also. spiritual foretellers also tell me that i am going to be successful  in life.

i know that i can do well in exams but all my efforts is going vain now and i am not able to take a better decision to where to go in my life. i feel hell in my mind that i am loosing everything to gain nothing and as the age increases my focus is also diverting towards marriage,wife relations etc and i am not able to imagine me in any way of life. when all this happens i feel like to go to forest and sit there until i die.

please help me with the problem that i have

thanks in advance

hare krishna!!! 

You need to be a member of ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT to add comments!

Join ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT

Email me when people reply –


  • E-Counselor

    Good symptoms! Srilla Prabhupada often quotes,"Athato brahma jinjasa."

    "Go and inquire about the goal of life." This is the real inquistive in the human life. 

    Please continue chanting and reading Bhagavad-Gita as It is by Srilla Prbahupada.

  • It's natural to become concerned regarding One's own particular plans for one's own destiny. However, after affirmations regarding such, at he beginning & or the end of our mantra practice. Ultimately however, it is best just to chant without (Specific expectations. Just chant regularly and with attention, & God will reciprocate as needed?
  • I is very nice you seek your direction in Life, might I suggest that you find what really peeks your interests in that way you will enjoy your study's without feeling that you are being put through any complications. Also service is key, sit in Yoga posters & Chant properly while focussing on the beautiful Lord Jaganatha deity. Daily for one year & He will reword you for your service's according to your sincerity. Faith & trusting service? Allow Krishna to orchestrate the arrangements of your destiny, & trust that He understands and provides for us according to our Greatest Good. Serve with payshunts, an attitude of gratitude & confidence that your dedication to Haray Krishna & Rama is all Good, and so' good karmic reactions are certainly soon going to begin accruing!?
  • E-Counselor

    There was a discussion in between Arjuna and Krishna about to control/purify the mind.

    In B.G,chapter 6 and Text 34 and 35.

    cañcalaṁ hi manaḥ kṛṣṇa
    pramāthi balavad dṛḍham
    tasyāhaṁ nigrahaṁ manye
    vāyor iva su-duṣkaram

    The mind is restless, turbulent, obstinate and very strong, O Kṛṣṇa, and to subdue it, I think, is more difficult than controlling the wind.

    The mind is so strong and obstinate that it sometimes overcomes the intelligence, although the mind is supposed to be subservient to the intelligence. For a man in the practical world who has to fight so many opposing elements, it is certainly very difficult to control the mind. Artificially, one may establish a  equilibrium toward both friend and enemy, but ultimately no worldly man can do so, for this is more difficult than controlling the raging wind. In the Vedic literature (Kaṭha Upaniṣad 1.3.3–4) it is said:

    ātmānaṁ rathinaṁ viddhi
    śarīraṁ ratham eva ca
    buddhiṁ tu sārathiṁ viddhi
    manaḥ pragraham eva ca

    indriyāṇi hayān āhur
    viṣayāṁs teṣu gocarān
    bhoktety āhur manīṣiṇaḥ

    “The individual is the passenger in the car of the material body, and intelligence is the driver. Mind is the driving instrument, and the senses are the horses. The self is thus the enjoyer or sufferer in the association of the mind and senses. So it is understood by great thinkers.” Intelligence is supposed to direct the mind, but the mind is so strong and obstinate that it often overcomes even one’s own intelligence, as an acute  may surpass the efficacy of medicine. Such a strong mind is supposed to be controlled by the  of yoga, but such practice is never practical for a worldly person like Arjuna. And what can we say of modern man? The simile used here is appropriate: one cannot capture the blowing wind. And it is even more difficult to capture the turbulent mind. The easiest way to control the mind, as suggested by Lord Caitanya, is chanting “Hare Kṛṣṇa,” the great mantra for deliverance, in all humility. The method prescribed is sa vai manaḥ kṛṣṇa-padāravindayoḥ: one must engage one’s mind fully in Kṛṣṇa. Only then will there remain no other engagements to  the mind.

    Bg 6.35

    śrī-bhagavān uvāca
    asaṁśayaṁ mahā-bāho
    mano durnigrahaṁ calam
    abhyāsena tu kaunteya
    vairāgyeṇa ca gṛhyate
    Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa said: O mighty-armed son of Kuntī, it is undoubtedly very difficult to curb the restless mind, but it is possible by suitable practice and by detachment.

    The difficulty of controlling the obstinate mind, as expressed by Arjuna, is accepted by the Personality of Godhead. But at the same time He suggests that by practice and detachment it is possible. What is that practice? In the present age no one can observe the strict rules and regulations of placing oneself in a sacred place, focusing the mind on the Supersoul, restraining the senses and mind, observing celibacy, remaining alone, etc. By the practice of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, however, one engages in nine types of devotional service to the Lord. The first and foremost of such devotional engagements is hearing about Kṛṣṇa. This is a very powerful transcendental method for purging the mind of all misgivings. The more one hears about Kṛṣṇa, the more one becomes enlightened and detached from everything that draws the mind away from Kṛṣṇa. By detaching the mind from activities not devoted to the Lord, one can very easily learn vairāgya. Vairāgya means detachment from matter and engagement of the mind in spirit. Impersonal spiritual detachment is more difficult than attaching the mind to the activities of Kṛṣṇa. This is practical because by hearing about Kṛṣṇa one becomes automatically attached to the Supreme Spirit. This attachment is called pareśānubhava, spiritual satisfaction. It is just like the feeling of satisfaction a  has for every morsel of  he eats. The more one eats while hungry, the more one feels satisfaction and strength. Similarly, by discharge of devotional service one feels transcendental satisfaction as the mind becomes detached from material objectives. It is something like curing a disease by expert treatment and appropriate . Hearing of the transcendental activities of Lord Kṛṣṇa is therefore expert treatment for the mad mind, and eating the foodstuff offered to Kṛṣṇa is the appropriate  the suffering . This treatment is the process of Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

    Again, fear goes away when one takes the shelter of Krishna.

    As confirmed in B.G. Krishna says,

    Bg 9.31

    kaunteya pratijānīhi
    na me bhaktaḥ praṇaśyati
    Word for word: 
     O son of Kuntī, declare it boldly that My devotee never perishes.
    ......... Devotee puts the Supreme Personality of Godhead within his heart, and all sinful contaminations are naturally washed away. Continuous thinking of the Supreme Lord makes him pure by nature. According to the Vedas, there is a certain regulation that if one falls down from his exalted position he has to undergo certain ritualistic processes to purify himself. But here there is no such condition, because the purifying process is already there in the heart of the devotee, due to his remembering the Supreme Personality of Godhead constantly. Therefore, the  of Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare/ Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare should be continued without stoppage. This will protect a devotee from all accidental falldowns. He will thus remain perpetually  from all material contaminations.
    Therefore, I urge you to start chanting Mahamantra--Hare Krishna,Hare Krishna,Krishna,Krishna,Hare,Hare,Hare Rama,Hare Rama,Rama,Rama,Hare,Hare --from today itself by which your mind will be purified and you will have no fear or lamentation about your entrance exam result. Also, it will bring all auspiciousness to your future without doubt.Try it and see the result.Please visit our ISKCON center at your convenience for further guidance.
    Thank you,
  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krishna Santosh Kumar!

    You should thankful to the Supreme Personality of God Head Sri Krishna for what you have achieved so far. 

    In Bhagavad-Gita it is mentioned that there are three types of "Doer".

    1) The living entities (you) desire some thing to achieve--Govt. Job,Beautiful wife,nice Bunglow, precious cars,etc.

    2) The Supreme Personality of God Head (Krishna) sanctions it if you really deserve it. For example,if a child of 5yrs will insist for a sharp knife to buy from a store, his father won't buy for him. His father knows that his five yrs son cannot use it properly. His son can kill some one out of ignorance. Is it not? Simillarly, Krishna who is the cause of all causes knows well which is suitable for you. The Lord will definitely sanction things what you need if it is good for you.Because in B.G. Ch 4,Text 11.it is stated by the Lord Himself:

    ye yathā māṁ prapadyante
    tāṁs tathaiva bhajāmy aham

    As all surrender unto Me, I reward them accordingly. Everyone follows My path in all respects, O son of Pṛthā.
    ............... For those who are fruitive workers, the Lord awards the desired results of their prescribed duties, as the yajñeśvara; and those who are yogīs seeking mystic powers are awarded such powers. In other words, everyone is dependent for success upon His mercy alone, and all kinds of spiritual processes are but different degrees of success on the same path. Unless, therefore, one comes to the highest perfection of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, all attempts remain imperfect, as is stated in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (2.3.10):
    3) The Material Nature executes whatever Krishna sanctions in due course of time.
    Now, you don't have to worry for the result because it is not in your hand. You can do your duty and the result is in Krishna's hand according to your past karma.
    Again, you should purify your desire through Krishna Consciousness--Chanting Mahamantra daily,reading Prabhupada Books daily at least one page or a paragraph. thinking of Krishna's past time, worshiping Krishna, etc.
    Once you will have pure desire through the sincere prayers to Krishna, His Lordship will definitely award you with all material and spiritual opulence by nullifying your past bad Karma.
    Keep faith in Krishna and have a peaceful life.
    Ask your self what ever you have achieved like Electrical Engineering was due to the sweet sanction of Krishna, not by your personal endeavor. Even if you get a glass of water, be thankful to the Lord who supplied it to you.
    Nothing you can get mechanically unless Krishna sanctions.
    Therefor, pray the almighty Lord for what you need. You may not get immediately ;however, it will come in due course of time if you deserve.
    Hope it answers your question.If you have more question, you may ask.
    Hare Krishna!
  • E-Counselor

    Hare KRsna Prabhuji,


    From what I have understood, you need to calm down. Pls join a congregation near your house. If you are in Chennai, there are congregation preaching happening everywhere in the city. Pls find out (you can write to me your location and I can try to help)and join.

    Second thing you need to do is to sit and study. All thoughts of job, wife, house, plot, car, kids can wait. These shoudl motivate you to achieve your goal in life - govt job.

    I dont knwo whether you are chanting - you should chant 4 rounds of mahamantra every day for atleast 6 months to understand how it is helping you.

    We can do our efforts prabhu, the rest (result) is not in our hands. Pls do your sadhana and your efforts in studying and appearing for the exams. I am sure Krsna will help you.


    Your servant,

    Radha Rasamayi DD

This reply was deleted.