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Hare Krishna dear devotees
PAMHO

Sometimes I feel very stressed thinking that I am not getting taste or desire to serve Krishna or to chant. My chanting quality has dropped too (I do 10 rounds). Most of the times when I am going about my day, the feeling that I do not have love or desire for Krishna makes me EXTEMELY anxious. I am not able to remain happy. Please help.

I am not even sure about the root cause of anxiety. I am going to start my first job soon, shifting to new city, planning on getting married, living in toxic environment at home etc. Lots of stuff going on. But when i feel anxious, all i can think is my misfortune that I do not have strong desire or love for Krishna. Plus, I am nowhere near unmotivated and unalloyed service. Even though I try very hard but whenever I do any spiritual activity, subtle expectations come in heart like Krishna will give me taste if i serve, i will get happy, i will be free of stress if i chant etc. There's just too much load of expectations sometimes which i am not able to control after trying really hard. I feel demotivated sometimes.

I have no clue what's happening to me. Please guide.