Since I have started to chant 16 rounds, reading Prabhupada's Canto 1 SB every day for 30 minutes, hearing HH Radhanath Maharaj lectures, and associating with devotees in an online session twice or once a week, I have started to love spending time in solitude, reflections, reflecting on my anger, how much I waste time, how can I use more time efficiently, do my duty more efficiently so that I can spare more time for Krishna Does this happens to everyone as well, we don't need much technology, or any titillating flickering engagements that we used to like so much but now the taste starts to fade and we become even more responsible in our duties or at least start trying to become responsible and also it's not that we start staying aloof but to the materialistic people our practices of solitude or reflections appear as aloofness that is what bothers me, if I tell my relatives that I spend one day in a week and majority part of that day in solitude and reflections apart from my daily sadhana for nourishing myself from the whole week's job, they say "TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING IS BAD"
is it okay to spend some part of your day once a week on weekends on reflection and introspection, I don't know I feel so nice doing this, it's not that I stop talking to people that day but since I have 9 hours more than any usual day of work, I spend some time to read more and pause and reflect and relish, is it okay and how should I not get discouraged from such remarks from materialistic people/relative, it's not that I tell them or blaspheme them, I respect them but I just thought am I doing something wrong according to them?
Please help
I was never like this NEVER! SRILA PRABHUPADA has given me this priceless gift, he has picked me up from the garbage where I used to sit and enjoy like crows, and now he has shown me the path of a swan, by loving devotional service, I am genuinely grateful to Srila Prabhupada, he has done everything that the total youth population of the whole universe can't do, in his seventies, he has crossed all boundaries and while leaving this planet he was translating the Bhagavatam and telling about the sinful reactions of breaking the 4 regulative principles, a person who in his life never seen women as objects never touched wine, never used the money for anything or anyone other than Krishna, where comes the question of gambling, who never knew LSD and other drugs but took out all the hippies from those addictions, a person who has descended straight from GOLOKA VRINDAVAN was speaking about all this!!!!
WHY?
Only and only because he is so compassionate on suffering souls like us, the graveness in his voice is just a manifestation of his compassion, many times I used to think why does Prabhupada speak so strongly, now I understand it was only and only compassion in the form of transcendental chastisement.
Seeing my relatives and old friends getting frustrated in this lockdown, I feel sorry and I try to help them, however, when I look at myself I feel if Prabhupada's Bhagavad Gita never walked in my life, I would have been exactly where they are or maybe in a worse situation of depression or anxiety than my friends, I just want to thank each and every person of the Krishna Consciousness Movement who are distributing the compassion and mercy of SHRI CHAITANYA MAHAPRABHU AND SRILA PRABHUPADA without distinction and qualification
Thank you, everyone, so so much, thank you, I do not know who is reading it or is someone even reading it, I had just this question in the first 2 paras but I could not control my heart and feelings, forgive me for such a long essay that took a lot of your time thank you
Replies
Thank you for your humble suggestion, you are right to think of Krishna in any and every place, even while talking to relatives parents friends, etc, we can think of them as parts and parcels while talking to them!
Hare Krishna,
I am reading all what you wrote, don't worry Srila Prabhupada read it, Krishna read it. Koi padhe ya na padhe, Bhagwan toh padhte hi hai.
You are such a wonderful person Sahil prabhu!!!!
You are doing great!!! Self analysis and keeping some time for thinking back and reflecting is must for growth spiritually and materially also. We come across various situations in life sometimes we react and not respond. we become frustrated and start blaming others for our faults. It is good to sit back and think for a while where we are going wrong. Stop all activities and analyse the situation ..who was wrong.. did we react at that time or given a response .. How to improve ourself better for facing next time such circumstances. This is a positive approach of dealing problems like anger, frustration. Introspection is good. You will introspect then only you will put urself in the shoes of other person and see for yourself. You will know what is ur betterside and how best to improve it. You will know what is lacking in you and how to rectify it. You are doing great thing and you parents and other relatives are just worried simply because they feel maybe you are going far away from normal life and maybe they fear that ur soilitude will make you go into depression. Let then know that is not the case. Tell them that you are trying to improve yourself actually for good, and be cheerful to let them know that your introspection and reflecting made you overcome your fears, anxities and anger. Show them the change and show them your better version like how you are dealing situations now and how you used to be back then.
DOn't worry that you poured out ur heart here in the form of words ...who will read it. All read and many also can take ideas from your journey. It is good see people who are so geniune and so sensitive and feel emotional deep from their heart.
But one thing I will warn you is too much introspection or introvert behvior is also bad. We have talked till now about the pro's and now I want to tell you a bit of cons.
When you become too much entangled in your own world .. just spending time within ur head.. reflecting on your behavior and thinking back and forth, sometimes you may end up being dragged into loneliness and depression. It is good to spend time with oneself once in a while like 30 min or one hour. But if you start brooding too much over past things and plan too much for future actions.. You will lose being in present Isn't it?
For instance let me give you a small example:--.If you sit and think.. What you did whole day. in the night and reflecting on ur behavior.. ( you are in the past now) you will feel oh.. I shouldn't have done that .. I should have done this.., I shouldn't have been so angry upon her.. I should have told it like this then her reaction to it would be something else. What if she reacted in same way ??no no she is not so much clever. I can manage it.. I am very clever I can tackle the situation cleverly.. But if she scolded me back.. then I will next time show her, her position and tell her her faults. No no maybe she will feel bad if I tell her faults..( now you are planning for future).
Or maybe tommorow itself I will say sorry.. ( planning for future).
Thinking back.. Nah!! she is not worthy of my sorry... But what if I tell sorry? she will be fine.. maybe she will be my friend.
Nah! she i so dumb I would never want her to be my friend. ( now you what are you doing is Self supporting and praising..and degrading others..)
I think I am in a better postion then all others in this mateiral world.. they are all suffering But I am so great I found practsing introspection and I am so striving to improve myself.. ( now you are doing degrading others and thinking you are great) It will puff up ur ego.
Next moment ... .. nah...I am what I am .. why should I change for all others? ( egoistic).
but I can be good also I am sometimes very bad i know I am a rascal... some time I do hurt people with my words.. I have done this in the past also. I am so bad.I am so bad. I hate my self...( now you are feeling guilt)
then after some more time... I think I don't deserve this life.. ( suicidal). I wish God punishes me for this act. I don't deserve this life at all.. ( lack of self worth and depression).
Oh God why did you even create me like this. It is your fault.. You made me like this ..( complaining and blaming God).
No no it is not God's fault.> actually it is my fault only ( again come back to self) actually all are faulty ...No one in this material world can be trusted.. ( losing interest in people other then yourself).
I will better spend time with myself then being with a society of idiots who don't value me. All these materialistic people are mean. It is better I am alone ( enjoying loneliness and feeling rest of the world is bad).
finally losing all social interactions and sitting alone.., and brooding in and out of thoughts going mad every minute.
Now an Extrovert person..:-- How he deals the situation is... he faces issues... reacts easily gives immediate result oriented work. problem solving skills in emergency situations. .. he is like do or die.. he can have many friends or none.. Some people are like too much socializing... .. any problem directly shouts, argues, give sharp replies.. hurts others.. and become angered , frustrated.. shouts more.. become mad. People avoid him because they think he is mean rascal. No one befriends him. All call him egoistic. But then he is quick, responsive, friendly ... can become nice also.. he wants to be with friends so he can do anything for being with them.. he will talk nicely to make friends or leaves all at his wish. he doesn't care. .. without thinking he spurts out and talks.. he talks more and listens less to people. but quick responders..they can become team leaders and can handle a team well. but sometimes they can be aggressive and say something hurtful as they talk without even estimating how the other person will react. very easy going.. if some says something he will not react and take it to heart also to keep brooding. They are good at multi tasking, they get enerygy from people around them. If the more people the more the better they are.
So neither a introvert or an extrovert has friends ... both are completely opposite personality types.
Being balance in between is good. Like one needs to introspect where we are going wrong but not do it too much that we become totally cut off from people become depressed. Neither we should shout and act agressively to a situation reacting impulsively.
Ya, If you spend a little time and think back and correct ur behavior it helps you to grow spiritually and materialistic relationships with people can be imporved.
But you are doing too much of it then you will finally lose contact with surroundings.. You already have framed bad opinion about material people and started to feel .. I am so great. I am reading KC books. I am practising 16 rounds rest all are fools. they are suffering. I am so happy in my world. This is also wrong attitude. You need not think about others like this. If they are suffering ya could be.. But you need not feel great about urself also. ( I know you wont like this line)
One shouldn't be either busy introspecting too much in the past.., OR one shouldn't be planning too much for the future. They lose to be in the present. If they are constantly engaged in thoughts about past ( how to correct and) future planning .. how will they be in present? Be in the present.
Enjoy the present moment with Krishna Consciousness. Try to be cheerful and spread positivity and hope and also spread krishna bhakti to all :-) Need not degrade mateiral people. neither feel great about urself or ur achievements... let them say anything.
You can create a good future if you are being in the present moment.
Introspection and reflection is must to make you grow spiritually and make you a present a better version but too much dwelling within ones own space and one's own solitude will make you lose being in present . Too much of anything is too bad.
Hare Krishna, all the best with your journey of introspection and reflection.
Thank you so much, Mataji for such a clear and deep explanation of both the pros and the cons.
What you said is absolutely right, rather than trying to spread knowledge to show how great I am or how much I know, it is better to spread the same knowledge in the mood of compassion
Thank you so much for dispelling my doubts out.
I would bother you with one question if it is okay, it is related to this topic only
Problem Statement
As you said, we should not become disconnected from society, relatives, etc
Case 1
When there are meetings or social gatherings, it is not that I shy away or don't attend them, at that time I talk normally to my relatives
I talk to them normally, I don't run away or be silent
Case 2
However my when my cousins call me now, they either gossip or tell something in which i have no interest, its either movies, Instagram, some friends relationship discussion
I don't mind talking to them about their life, but if they brood over all this I really have nothing to say, because i don't watch movies, Instagram, and when i genuinely try to give them advice to help them, they start getting bored, and i think why did i waste their time and mine, i am ready to hear all the topics of movies, etc, but only to the point that i can bring them to KC or spirituality , however if they don't come I feel what i am doing, its better that when there are social functions and when naturally there is program to meet, otherwise i get polluted and also i myself am a neophyte, how can i lift them, first "janma sarthak kori and then kar para upkar"
I don't expect everyone to talk about Krishna, but at least about themselves, not wordly things, which will pollute my consciousness, or should i talk to them and pray to the lord that i am doing this for you please help me not to get polluted or agitated by what i hear and give me this ability to not judge and be humble.
Few months back while talking to my friends especially girls, I used to keep Krsna Book in front of me so that i talk to that mataji, in the mood of helping her and never to see her or rather any mataji in the mood of enjoyment, even as subtle as enjoying her beautiful face or anything(which i may find beautiful) , but to see each and every person as beautiful from within
REGARDING PARENTS
I don't lecture them, but I like to spend time with them without Netflix, movies, etc
when they tell me to watch a movie with them should i sit, i don't have problem with sitting with them and talking normally but wasting 2 hours over some Bollywood movies, i dot have problems that they watch , nor i think i am great now like you said, so how should i react
please help me if you find time
Hare Krishna prabhu,
न कर्मणामनारम्भान्नैष्कर्म्यं पुरुषोऽश्नुते |
न च संन्यसनादेव सिद्धिं समधिगच्छति || 4||
Not by merely abstaining from work can one achieve freedom from reaction, nor by renunciation alone can one attain perfection ( 3.4 BG)
One cannot leave the karma which you have to face and run away from doing your prescribed duties, or sit in fear that he or she would be tainted by the effect of mateiral things and gets polluted.
Arjuna was lamenting at the start of gita and said. I want to give up all these mateiralistic activitie...which will lead me no where but make me more and more entangled in the materialistic life. He wanted to give up his prescirbed duties and sit aside take up solitude and practice sanyasa rather then doing any work which is going to pollute his consciouness itself. Arjuna said.
But Krishna said.. do karma as a sacrifice as an yagna. Then how is it possible Arjuna asked. Krishna explains in BG 3.5.
yajnarthat karmano 'nyatra
loko 'yam karma-bandhanah
tad-artham karma kaunteya
mukta-sangah samacara
Work done as a sacrifice for Visnu has to be performed, otherwise work binds one to this material world. Therefore, O son of Kunti, perform your prescribed duties for His satisfaction, and in that way you will always remain unattached and free from bondage.
Like for example:- Let us say I will give you a basket of flowrers, and I will provide you materialistic friend also a basket of flowers. What for you both will use ? you will use the flowers for serving Lord, decorating the deity nicely isn't it.. But your materialistic person takes the flowers ties some to his bike, some to his hand, some he gives to his girl friend. some he will throw them let them go waste. Let me provide another example. One doctor is there and one butcher is there. both uses knife right? but both use for different puposes. One is using the knife for saving lives other using the same knife for ending lives. Is there any problem with the knife or flowers?
So what is that to be changed here is our perception of seeing material things.
flowers were the same, knife also same. Neither there is fault in flowers or knife. So, why to leave materialistic things totally? They can be used for higher purposes rather then using for lower purpose of living, isn't it?
Similarly whatever work we do.. if you offer it to Lord it become not mateiralistic anymore. The problem is we want to leave material things and material people and run away from them sit in solitude for the fear that I and my consicousnes can be polluted.
actually it is our perception that is neccesary to be changed.
See you said.. when you are seeing or talking to a girl you are afraid that you can get attracted to her, itta darr darr ke kya... Yeh soch hi tumme kyon aata hai pehle ki woh ladki ko dekhega toh usko attract ho ja sakta hai.? ladki mein problem nahi hai. probem aur dosh toh tum mein hi hai. You are afraid of ur mind that it will get polluted. so you are avoiding all these.
if you restrict your senses like this some day you will commit offense and get polluted also. No one can overcome desires by restricting the senses.
So many great sages like Vishwamitra have gone to jungles to gain control over senses and did tapasaya. but when suddenly they saw a woman they lost all control so easily how??
because they have been controlling and restricting senses but the seed within the head that woman is insturment of enjoyement and pleasure this idea they didn't earse .. the past experiences of being with a woman..has not be earased from the consciousness so... whenever they got exposed to the stimulus object they again developed intrest in it.
karmendriyāṇi sanyamya ya āste manasā smaran
indriyārthān vimūḍhātmā mithyāchāraḥ sa uchyate ( 3.6 verse BG).
One who restrains the senses and organs of action, but whose mind dwells on sense objects, certainly deludes himself and is called a pretender.
So try not to be acting like a vairagi or pretender. gain control over mind.. not controlling yourself from objects of senses.
If you keep running away from objects of senses .. .without controlling mind.. then just like Vishwa mitra ji.. some day you will again fall for the objects of senses..
Like for suppose..
One diabetes patient is there. He was told by doctor not to eat any sweets it is dangerous for your life. So the diabetic patient left sweets, left all goodies, sweets, candies.. icecreams.. But actually did he leave them? no not at all. He still has the craving for it in mind.. But he is restricting it because it is not good. doctor told it not good for your health so restricting it. But one day he felt, no one is watching..not a problem if I have one sweet. Doctor gaya bhad mein dekte hai kya hoga..he started one sweet, two, three.. he became lost again and got sick
So acting and pretending to be like vairagi.. is totally different from real vairagya stage where you get over totally the instinct also the seed also from you head. This temporary stage where you are restricting yourself from objects of senses is fine as you are neophyte. It will take time for you to get a control on the mind. Until then you are adviced to restrict ur senses. But it is just predenting only not like you got control over it.
If you got control over it...you wouldn't need a krsna book in hand while talking to a girl. You will just talk and be normal. You will not even feel anything when you see her beautiful face also.
So a karmi is far superior then a false reninciate actually. Karmi who does all karma and offers all karma and its fruits to Krishna is far more superior then a false pretentious renunciate it is said so.
When one works in the world with the body, but keeps the mind attached to God, know it to be karm yog. When one engages in spirituality with the body, but keeps the mind attached to the world, know it to be hypocrisy.
Let us say..
One person who is watching a movie on netflix also and his in his mind he is thinking today I am living so peacefully today ., able to watch a movie it is all by the grace of Lord. and false renunciate who is sitting in japa and thinking, oh my friend is watching a movie and I am so great I left all those for doing this japa. whose mind is superior you tell me?
Let us say.....one more example.
Karma yogi is great who renunounces the frutis of the karma and leaves kartha bhav. ( senses of doer ship) isn't it.
Karma yogi always does material things only but he thinkng actually he is not the doer and he offers all his fruits of work done to Lord. He does nishkaam karam. He is selfless.
Your case:-
dealing with materialistic friends, dealing with parents, dealing with girls as friends.. how to avoid being with materialistic people .......how to stay away from them but still be with them.
Actually If you see everyone and everything is a part and parcel of krishna, We become purifed. We can be in mateiral world but we shouldn't be in material illusion.
brahmaṇyādhāya karmāṇi saṅgaṁ tyaktvā karoti yaḥ
lipyate na sa pāpena padma-patram ivāmbhasā ( chapter 5.10 BG).
One who performs his duty without attachment, surrendering the results unto the Supreme God, is not affected by sinful action, as the lotus leaf is untouched by water.
Now you need to understand how to surrender the results of the action to supreme Lord. so that, EVEN when you are in material world you remain untouched.
Let me give one personal example:--
One time, I was going to some place in a car and car was driven by a driver who was non-devotee. He puts all filmy songs. It gives him pleasure while driving hearing to those kind of music. One song was really good... though it was from some bollywood movie song. I was listening.. those as I cannot ask him to put some bhajan or kirtan. I was just listening..
the song lines were Sab tera Sab tera..mera mujhe mein kuch nahi sab tera. I just closed my eyes.. and heard it with a Krishna consciousness.
It felt like a bhajan to me actually. But to people who were sitting next to me.. they enjoyed it as it some bollywood. they were visualizing and seeing the bollywood actor and actress in that song.
I was enjoying the same song with Krishna in my head. the song literally began to stike me like a bhajan. Literally also if see the wordings of the song... Sab tera.. haan sab kuch toh Krishna ka hi ha.. what are we ? not this body is ours also , we don't exist sepertely form Lord. sab tera sab tera.. mera mujh mein kuch nahi sab tera.. I was totally into Krishna. I really enjoyed even the materialistic song also in Krishna consciousness.
So, I understood one thing that it is the perception matters... whatever we want to see we can see it in that way. All materialisitic things can be used for devotional purposes only if you know the art of seeing Krishna in them or if you know the art of utilizing every resource for devotional purpose.
For a devotee sees everything as part and parcel of Krishna.
If he sees a beautiful woman he will say Lord made such a wonderful creation.. If HIS creation is only so beautiful How beautiful He must be !!!!!
If He watches any filmy song accidentally ( not intentionally) also.. he will surely enjoy it in Krishna conscious mood only. not for the sake of personal enjoyemnt.
If someone is gossiping about someone.. He will hear but not listen. the things pass in and out but he is not listening anything.. no brain involvement.
This art is tough and needs practise. If you are mateiralisitic conggregation.. we be present physically but your mind is dwelling on krishna. If he sees some good clothes. .. he thinks this color would suit the deities or this material is so good maybe i must purchase it for deities.
Gopis' of vrindavan were doing all chores ....sweeping floors, mopping, feeding cows, cleaning utensils, cooking food, feeding family and taking care of children but their minds were always fixed on krishna. One gopis sweeps the floor thinking today Krishna might come to my house.....let me clean my home nicely. one gopi was cooking food.. thinking in case Krishna comes to my home .. let me cook good food..he loves butter let me put some aside for him .. in case he comes chori chupke.. .. some gopi was taking care of her children and thinking in mind...today I will dress my kanha ji with this color dress just as this dress..., some gopi was decorating herself nicely thinking if krishna comes today I must be looking beautiful for him..
one gopi is getting water from yamuna river she is thinking.. what if that chichora from some where breaks my pot and walking sthealthily seeing here and there.. one gopi was busy with serving food for the family.. thinking krishna is also having food and serving extra butter with nice sweets to her husband.. Husband was happy that she is serving him well.........but her mind was fixed on Kanha ji ...one gopis was serving her mother in law by pressing her feet and thinking in her mind... the lotus feet of Lord are so soft.. and how the goddess of forturne is really so fortunate that she is serving HIm daily pressing His feet. They are all doing materialistic activities only but their mind is somewhere in thoughts of krishna.
One can be like this in material world only if we have 100% surrender ofcourse.
Hare Krishna.
My God such a deep and wonderful explanation, it is all about the consciousness and perception
Thank you for sharing those personal examples of the cab and movie, about girls in general and how to hear gossip but not listen and let it pass without involving the brain.
You dispelled so many of my doubts
Thank you for such a clear explanation and thank you for taking so much time to type everything out
REALLY!! Thank you