Six Common Indicators of Low Self-esteem



"Low self-esteem really means a lack of real contentment within one's inner life."


1. People with low self-esteem like to gossip. Why? Because that's what gives them pleasure. They do not have any substance inside. On the other hand, people who are actually self-confident speak of their ideals in life and not of the faults of others.


2. A person with low self-esteem is quick to criticize others, whereas a person with some inner fulfillment is respectful to others, he is naturally longing to show respect to others, to be caring toward others.


3. A person with low self-esteem is arrogant. He thinks, "I've done this, I've conquered these nations, I've made these millions, and I've won these tournaments and so on. They are very eager to try to convince other people of how great they are, how successful they are, and what they have accomplished within this world. But a person with actual self-confidence is humble. Why? Because they simply don't need to impress people with cheap words of conceit. If you are actually very weak within, you have to brag about whatever great or little things you have done to try to get the approval, the recognition, and the adoration of others. But if you have inner contentment, if you have confidence in yourselves, you don't need that.

"When you do something good and you tell somebody about what you did, by that telling you exhaust most of the credits of what you have done."


4. In the world today we want to take credit for what we have not done and we want to give blame to others for what we have done. This is another quality of a person with low self-esteem. He makes excuses, and blames others for their apparent shortcomings, whereas a person of self-confidence doesn't make excuses, doesn't blame others, and takes responsibility of what he has done or what he has not done, and is always striving to improve.


5. People of low self-esteem are dependent on the appreciation, praise and approval of others, whereas a person with self-confidence is willing to speak what is true and do what is right even if it is very unpopular. Especially for the youth in the modern world today association is such a powerful influence. Most people smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol or do all illicit things, not because they really want to do it. They do it because they want to look cool and they want to be accepted by the people around them. But integrity means we understand what is right and we do it--even if people criticize us, even if people make jokes or laugh at us. Eventually, those same people will come to us when they are in trouble because they understand that here is a person with integrity.


6. Those with low self-esteem are easily jealous about other people's success. What is jealousy? That means we are so hollow, so empty within, there is so much lack of satisfaction in our worth, our value, and who we are, that we actually have to feel a type of hatred and jealousy towards others who appear to be better. A person with real self-confidence is the well-wisher of everyone. He is not so concerned with his reputation but concerned with his character. He is not so concerned with what he get and what one can prove to others by his fashion, by his way of speech, by his way of talk and by the type of furniture one has in his home. He is more concerned with what he is giving to others. Actual self-confidence doesn't mean we become absorbed in our egoistic self. The art or real self-consciousness is to become selfless because, in becoming selfless there is inner fulfillment.

--HHRNM (from 'Soul-wise')

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