last two years with so many marriage proposals....!!i have to face same old question again and again ...!you believe in iskcon...?? oh my god...!! (omg.!sounds like if i have killed an American president)many of the young age boys and girls...dont believe in god..!yes many girls rejected me coz i am krsna devotee and many i rejected coz they are not krsna devotee...question is very simple should i marry a non devotee or shall i be bhramachari....?coz girls expect his man to take her to hawai for a holidaynot in vrindavan or mayapur instead...!
It’s very clear that you wish to marry and there is nothing wrong in that. Maybe just change the approach towards how you are trying to find a match. You are trying to make it about yourself. If you approach with the attitude “this is what I am and I want a girl to slot right in into my daily routines and spiritual activities” then you are bound to hit a wall. Marriage is lots and lots of compromises.
Not all non-devotees are bad and not all devotees are good. People are bound to be judgemental. I have heard many cases of devotee husband-wife separating or divorcing and its quite a common thing apparently. A devotee now can become a non-devotee and vice versa. Krsna will have a plan for you. Krsna might give you a non-devotee who might eventually take up devotion taking lead from you. There are many possibilities and since we don’t know for sure how the future will pan out, its better to try and leave the rest to Krsna.
If you are struggling to find a devotee, then find a non-devotee (preferably one who doesn’t eat meat) who has no issues with your devotion, but still would support you in your spiritual activities. As Rashmi mataji has pointed out already: devotion should be internal and don’t project it to the world. Challenges in a marriage are inevitable be it between devotee husband-wife or non-devotee husband-wife. By our previous karmas, we get the partner in this life.
You can be selective keeping the 4 regulative principles in mind:
Meat eating: Find a girl who is vegetarian
Intoxication: Find a girl who doesn’t drink
Gambling: Find a girl who doesn’t gamble
Illicit sex: You have no control on this. So leave it.
So, you can filter out the candidates on the above.
Kc can be practiced even if the whole family is anti-kc. it’s a challenge, no doubt. Its also how best you serve krsna in your current circumstances/situations that will allow you to evaluate how eager and determined you are to practice kc, and krsna mainly sees that faith and determination amidst the turbulences in a devotee.
Lastly, I see nothing wrong in a wife/husband taking a holiday to Hawai or Switzerland. Why should a person be devoid of travelling and seeing the world? Krsna has created many beautiful places to see and experience his wonders. There are temples at many popular tourist spots to visit, meet with other devotees from different parts of the world.
If my response has upset any devotees, please forgive me.
I assure you, there are many vaishnavis in this world. You can also seek SriVaishnavas. It will actually be good to have their perspective. They are very much into serving Vaishnavas (Much more than serving the Lord). We at ISkCON are more into judging other Vaishnavas, rather than serving them without judgement. Not sure how many got into this rut.
Best way to meet your prospects is here and (mainly on Facebook). Vaishnava matrimonial sites suck your money and produce no results, because they have like 6 matching people on the whole site. Just get into preaching on Facebook and they will find you. The like will connect with you and vice versa. About 90% of the devotees who are finding a match online are via Facebook. It costs nothing. Just start sharing Krishna consciousness on Facebook. Make friend requst of those who preach on facebook. Male and Female. Married and Singles. Always accept friend request of other who riquest, because they saw your preaching message.
Be determined in serving Krishna alone and never give into serving your wife and children. Sure you dont escape from responsibility. However, our focus should be serving Krishna and teaching by example, wife and children, to serve Krishna.
The choice is not between being a brahmachari or marrying a non devotee. Clearly you want to marry - the mindset is not that of being a brahmachari. Nothing wrong in that - by all means marry. Maybe you are looking at the wrong place to marry - maybe you should look at the option of marrying a devotee girl like you - she may even be from your same community and caste (to keep parents happy), may have the same level of commitment to KC that you have currently.
This way, both of you can support each other in marraige and in devotion, and live a happy life (to the extent possible in the material world).
You need to register in devotee marraige websites like - www.marryadevotee.com; www.vivahamitra.com....there are other websites also, I am not aware. This is not to say that once you register, next day a proposal will come and 3rd day you can marry. Not at all.
YOu need to think hard and be very clear about few things - what are your priorities in life? How important is KC to you? What are you looking for in a wife - qualities - looks, education, caste/ community, money, commitment to KC - whatever - be honest to yourself. Rank them in order of priority. Dont be an idealist, be an actualist. Then list out what are the absolute no nos, in the sense that - what are the qualities whihc, if even one of them not present in your prospect, you will not consider. For eg - for me, it was no smoking, no drinking, no nonveg (80% of the world got eliminated in one stroke).
I would recommend you go for horoscope match before even beginning to consider a prospect - it worked for me.
My experience is - once you have your imperative list ready, that you be firm on, the rest be ready to compromise.
It takes 2-3 years to find a devotee partner through website - taht too if you are lucky. Faster method is to approach your local ISKCON temple, ideally through your shiksha guru, and register in the marraige bearue there - it helps if people know you personally and can vouch for you. Everybody does background check - so better to be available in a place where your backgeound can be checked easily. Therefore, be part of a congregation, if you are not already.
Regarding marrying a non devotee - HG Karunanidhi Das prabhuji has explained to you already. Practically, I know someone who married in his community and now is struggling to make his wife leave non veg. There are scores like that. Thats why I said set your priorities and stick to your imperative list.
Above all, pray to guru, Gauranga and Radharani to send nice girl to be wife for you who will help you fulfill your mission in life.
delhi ka ladoo khaye whow be phactay nahi khay whow bhi phactay try to take ladoo prasad go through it understand the imp of krsna conscious try to take it sincerely see where i am lacking in kc try to to improve to your best better to remain bramhachari if possible 20 yrs playing 20 yrs work 20 yrs old age life is temporary use energy in krsna conscious thats the best use hare krsna pahmo
yes many girls rejected me coz i am krsna devotee........
Those are unfortunate girls! Only demons can reject Krishna or Krishna's devotees......
These girls are ignorant. They do not know the devotional power of a Krishna's devotee. For example, Kardam Muni although appeared to be poor before marriage with Devahuti, could create a great Mansion with many maid servants for Devahuti after their marriage. So, it is their misfortune if they reject you.
So, what to speak of Hawai, a real devotee-husband can take his beloved wife to different oppulent plannets--indraloka, brahmaloka,(even to Golakha Vrindavan)--where there are many apsaras, canaras,gandharvas are intoxicated with matchless sense enjoyments thousands better than this material happiness in Hawaii.
Again, you asked:
should i marry a non devotee or shall i be bhramachari....?
To remain as a Brahmacari is very dear to Krishna just like the crest jewel of Lord Krishna at His chest.
If you can not stay brahmacari, you may ask your Guru (if you're initiated) to find a suitable girl--devotee for you.
If not initiated, go for the Horoscope matching with the bride. If you get naganadi (unmatched horoscope), you will end with quarrel all the time.
To pick a non devotee as your life partner, is full of responsibility. Yes, you can accept a nondevotee as your life partner. But you have to convert her to be the devotee of Krishna by taking to ISKCON program and giving only Krishna Prasadam to eat. Slowly she will be the devotee of Krishna. But it is a long process. However, if you choose your wife through your spiritual master from a devotee circle, it is well and good because this devotee girl must have done some pious activities in her past life. So, both can lead a peaceful Krishna conscious life to beget Krishna conscious children.
Replies
Hare krsna,
All glories to Guru and Gauranga.
It’s very clear that you wish to marry and there is nothing wrong in that. Maybe just change the approach towards how you are trying to find a match. You are trying to make it about yourself. If you approach with the attitude “this is what I am and I want a girl to slot right in into my daily routines and spiritual activities” then you are bound to hit a wall. Marriage is lots and lots of compromises.
Not all non-devotees are bad and not all devotees are good. People are bound to be judgemental. I have heard many cases of devotee husband-wife separating or divorcing and its quite a common thing apparently. A devotee now can become a non-devotee and vice versa. Krsna will have a plan for you. Krsna might give you a non-devotee who might eventually take up devotion taking lead from you. There are many possibilities and since we don’t know for sure how the future will pan out, its better to try and leave the rest to Krsna.
If you are struggling to find a devotee, then find a non-devotee (preferably one who doesn’t eat meat) who has no issues with your devotion, but still would support you in your spiritual activities. As Rashmi mataji has pointed out already: devotion should be internal and don’t project it to the world. Challenges in a marriage are inevitable be it between devotee husband-wife or non-devotee husband-wife. By our previous karmas, we get the partner in this life.
You can be selective keeping the 4 regulative principles in mind:
Meat eating: Find a girl who is vegetarian
Intoxication: Find a girl who doesn’t drink
Gambling: Find a girl who doesn’t gamble
Illicit sex: You have no control on this. So leave it.
So, you can filter out the candidates on the above.
Kc can be practiced even if the whole family is anti-kc. it’s a challenge, no doubt. Its also how best you serve krsna in your current circumstances/situations that will allow you to evaluate how eager and determined you are to practice kc, and krsna mainly sees that faith and determination amidst the turbulences in a devotee.
Lastly, I see nothing wrong in a wife/husband taking a holiday to Hawai or Switzerland. Why should a person be devoid of travelling and seeing the world? Krsna has created many beautiful places to see and experience his wonders. There are temples at many popular tourist spots to visit, meet with other devotees from different parts of the world.
If my response has upset any devotees, please forgive me.
Chant and be happy.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!!
Hare Krsna.
I assure you, there are many vaishnavis in this world. You can also seek SriVaishnavas. It will actually be good to have their perspective. They are very much into serving Vaishnavas (Much more than serving the Lord). We at ISkCON are more into judging other Vaishnavas, rather than serving them without judgement. Not sure how many got into this rut.
Best way to meet your prospects is here and (mainly on Facebook). Vaishnava matrimonial sites suck your money and produce no results, because they have like 6 matching people on the whole site. Just get into preaching on Facebook and they will find you. The like will connect with you and vice versa. About 90% of the devotees who are finding a match online are via Facebook. It costs nothing. Just start sharing Krishna consciousness on Facebook. Make friend requst of those who preach on facebook. Male and Female. Married and Singles. Always accept friend request of other who riquest, because they saw your preaching message.
Be determined in serving Krishna alone and never give into serving your wife and children. Sure you dont escape from responsibility. However, our focus should be serving Krishna and teaching by example, wife and children, to serve Krishna.
Good Luck! Vijayate Sri Krishna Sankirtanam
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
The choice is not between being a brahmachari or marrying a non devotee. Clearly you want to marry - the mindset is not that of being a brahmachari. Nothing wrong in that - by all means marry. Maybe you are looking at the wrong place to marry - maybe you should look at the option of marrying a devotee girl like you - she may even be from your same community and caste (to keep parents happy), may have the same level of commitment to KC that you have currently.
This way, both of you can support each other in marraige and in devotion, and live a happy life (to the extent possible in the material world).
You need to register in devotee marraige websites like - www.marryadevotee.com; www.vivahamitra.com....there are other websites also, I am not aware. This is not to say that once you register, next day a proposal will come and 3rd day you can marry. Not at all.
YOu need to think hard and be very clear about few things - what are your priorities in life? How important is KC to you? What are you looking for in a wife - qualities - looks, education, caste/ community, money, commitment to KC - whatever - be honest to yourself. Rank them in order of priority. Dont be an idealist, be an actualist. Then list out what are the absolute no nos, in the sense that - what are the qualities whihc, if even one of them not present in your prospect, you will not consider. For eg - for me, it was no smoking, no drinking, no nonveg (80% of the world got eliminated in one stroke).
I would recommend you go for horoscope match before even beginning to consider a prospect - it worked for me.
My experience is - once you have your imperative list ready, that you be firm on, the rest be ready to compromise.
It takes 2-3 years to find a devotee partner through website - taht too if you are lucky. Faster method is to approach your local ISKCON temple, ideally through your shiksha guru, and register in the marraige bearue there - it helps if people know you personally and can vouch for you. Everybody does background check - so better to be available in a place where your backgeound can be checked easily. Therefore, be part of a congregation, if you are not already.
Regarding marrying a non devotee - HG Karunanidhi Das prabhuji has explained to you already. Practically, I know someone who married in his community and now is struggling to make his wife leave non veg. There are scores like that. Thats why I said set your priorities and stick to your imperative list.
Above all, pray to guru, Gauranga and Radharani to send nice girl to be wife for you who will help you fulfill your mission in life.
Best of luck,
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
delhi ka ladoo khaye whow be phactay nahi khay whow bhi phactay try to take ladoo prasad go through it understand the imp of krsna conscious try to take it sincerely see where i am lacking in kc try to to improve to your best better to remain bramhachari if possible 20 yrs playing 20 yrs work 20 yrs old age life is temporary use energy in krsna conscious thats the best use hare krsna pahmo
Hare Krishna Prabhu!
You asked:
yes many girls rejected me coz i am krsna devotee........
Those are unfortunate girls! Only demons can reject Krishna or Krishna's devotees......
These girls are ignorant. They do not know the devotional power of a Krishna's devotee. For example, Kardam Muni although appeared to be poor before marriage with Devahuti, could create a great Mansion with many maid servants for Devahuti after their marriage. So, it is their misfortune if they reject you.
So, what to speak of Hawai, a real devotee-husband can take his beloved wife to different oppulent plannets--indraloka, brahmaloka,(even to Golakha Vrindavan)--where there are many apsaras, canaras,gandharvas are intoxicated with matchless sense enjoyments thousands better than this material happiness in Hawaii.
Again, you asked:
should i marry a non devotee or shall i be bhramachari....?
To remain as a Brahmacari is very dear to Krishna just like the crest jewel of Lord Krishna at His chest.
If you can not stay brahmacari, you may ask your Guru (if you're initiated) to find a suitable girl--devotee for you.
If not initiated, go for the Horoscope matching with the bride. If you get naganadi (unmatched horoscope), you will end with quarrel all the time.
To pick a non devotee as your life partner, is full of responsibility. Yes, you can accept a nondevotee as your life partner. But you have to convert her to be the devotee of Krishna by taking to ISKCON program and giving only Krishna Prasadam to eat. Slowly she will be the devotee of Krishna. But it is a long process. However, if you choose your wife through your spiritual master from a devotee circle, it is well and good because this devotee girl must have done some pious activities in her past life. So, both can lead a peaceful Krishna conscious life to beget Krishna conscious children.
Hope this will answer your question.
Thank you,
Haribol!