Hare krishna Prabhuji, I am very much apologetic for not following the instruction of Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Sarasvati Goswami Thakur Prabhupad and I jumped into the deep and intimate scriptures on Radha Krishna Pastimes. I had recently read Geet Govind and many such intimate scriptures like Vidhagdha Madhav and Lochan das thakurs mugdha nataka. So therefore I am very much fright stricken by the description of the intimate and private pastimes of Radha Krishna mentioned in those Bona fide godia Vaishnav scriptures by our bonafide Acharyas, even by Rupa Goswami and Sanathan Goswami and all the big goswamis. And I am very much depressed and disgusted. And I am very much shameful of my act and I am ashamed to even look at my Radha Madhav. And I now am very much concerned of my practice in Madhurya rasa. And therefore I am thinking that I should move on to Sakhya ras because I feel more connected in Sakhya Rati. But I'm not getting any guidance that how to follow Sakhya ras and Do my service to Krishna. As all of our Acharya are in Manjari Bhava and Madhurya ras so it is very much difficult to gain the resources that how to serve Krishna Throughout my life in Sakhya ras and what are the scriptures or what are the Acharyas who followed Sakhya ras? And what are the Bhajan so that I can follow the footstep of that Acharya.
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Hare Krishna,
Apologies for any inconvenience caused.
As far as I know, Gita Govind is written by Jayadeva. And Jayadeva was a human being. I don't know much about Jayadeva, but if I want to know about the pastimes of the Lord, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Sri Krishna, I will not read a scripture written by a human being. I would instead read Srimad Bhagavatam, written by Srila Vyasadeva, an incarnation of the Lord.
Warm Regards
Hare KRsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
Please start chanting 16 rounds of mahamantra everyday, as attentively as possible. Ideally, chant in the morning 4-7 am. You can join online zoom sessions that so many devotees are having for company and to maintain throughout life.
Eat only Krsna prasadam, associate with devotees and follow ekadasi. Wear tilak everytime you wash face or take bath.
Let the basics set in place first. Then only one can proceed towards rasas.
What I heard in lectures is - our rasa is not yet manifested to us in pre sadhaka stage. We need to reach atleast pure chanting to understand what rasa we have. I know of devotees whose rasa changed from vatsalya to madhurya over the years (maybe because they matured in age).
Right now, take baby steps. Read Bhagavad Gita, all small, medium and big books of Srila Prabhupada. Then we will discuss commentaries of acharyas. If you have already read these books, read Srimad Bhagawatam and Chaitanya Charitamrta. Next is Brhad Bhagawatamrta. Then next stage of books.
Relax, calm yuor mind. Consider this lesson learnt and start taking baby steps in devotion.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
I dont think you were ready to read those pastimes at all. So i would not worry. Hanuman loves rama-sita and always have them in his heart but his not in madhuraya=rasa, The mere fact you feel discusted is evident that you are not either ready or like radha-krishna in another way. Its flowin from these archarya, so I think you are 100 percent not ready to hear them. There is zero material Sex in the spiritual world. So the fact you were discusted means you are not ready to hear these pure pastimes. I heard once Prabhupada's (one of His disciples) said Prabhupada was in sakha friend rasa with krishna. But it was just heresay as thier is no definate quote from Srila Prabhupada. If You had a viewpoint of that you want to be grass in vrindanava and radha-krishna walk over you with thier lotus feet then you are starting bhakti. I advice not read such high pastimes till you ready.
I understand completely prabhuji that there is not a tinge of material sex, but there is mention of sexual activity and erotic and amorous pastimes mentioned in that books like Geet Govind and Chandi Dasa's book whose works Chaitanya Mahaprabhu loved so much. I am very sorry but I was disgusted by the description of Radha Rani's bossom and how Krishna gets attracted and their private love making pastimes. Even there were some erotic paintings(traditional Rajasthan miniature painting style) of Radha Krishnan making love. Please help me prabhuji I am literally crying in helplessness, feeling disgusted, and feeling that I have offended Radha Madhav.
And I didn't have any intention to read those amorous pastimes. Rather read those books due to curiosity and after hearing the glories of those vaishnav authors like Jaydev Goswami, Chandi Das, Vidyapati
From beginning I thought that I was not at all fit for serving in madhurya rasa and felt more connected in sakhya rasa, but how can I learn aikantika bhakti to serve Krishna in sakhya rati as there are negligible Gaudiya vaishnav Acharya, guidance, books, bhajan, stuti, stotram in my limited knowledge about sakhya rasa
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
I understand your situation Prabhu ji. I was in a similar situation I started in KC last year. Although I never read the mentioned literature, as they are meant for souls who are very advanced in Bhakti, some non-believers used to question Rasa-Lila on Youtube & at that time I used to watch them.
This is the reason that ISKCON recommends to understand Siddhanta before reading / hearing Leela. Also, after understanding Siddhanta, these advanced books become more & more blissful to read.
The best solution is that to just forget everything that is troubling you. As a devotee, I can assure you that there not a single inappropriate aspect in any of Lord Sri Krishna's Leelas, even if it may appear inappropriate from a superficial level. I am saying "superficial" not to offend / demean you, but, "superficial" here means without required understanding of Siddhanta.
I'll also recommend you that Rasa-Lila explanation of HG Amogh Lila Prabhu ji, where he explains the Tattva of Lord Sri Krishna, Smt. Radharani & Rasa-Lila. It will clear many many doubts we have in mind & it will calm you down a bit.
As a minute initiative from my side, I can say that Lord Sri Krishna is Supreme Personality of Godhead, &, Smt. Radharani is His "Hladini Shakti" & their past times have deep Tattva within them.
Also, you can study the life of the Authors of the mentioned scriptures. For example, Srila Jayadeva Goswami's life Katha is covered by HG Amogh Lila Prabhu on his appearance day, also, it is mentioned in Sri Naabhadas ji's Sri Bhaktmal (probably with some variations). Their description of pious & auspicious lifestyle & their interaction with Lord Sri Krishna is enough to make us realize that they can not compose any sort of questionable literature.
Haribol!