Hare Krishna,
How to differentiate that what i am thinking is Self confidence and not False Ego. Or is it that both are same ?
References to Sastras are most welcome it state this fact.
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Q. WHAT IS FALSE EGO ?
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Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect. Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.
People who are not self-confident depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They tend to avoid taking risks because they fear failure. They generally do not expect to be successful. They often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments paid to them. By contrast, self-confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they generally trust their own abilities. They tend to accept themselves; they don’t feel they have to conform in order to be accepted.
Self-confidence is not necessarily a general characteristic which pervades all aspects of a person’s life. Typically, individuals will have some areas of their lives where they feel quite confident, e.g., academics, athletics, while at the same time they do not feel at all confident in other areas, e.g., personal appearance, social relationships.
Hare krishna, humble obeisances.
When u think your improving, then it is self-confidence but if u feel ur improving more than others than it is ego.
Question: What’s the difference between false ego and self confidence? Obviously it’s quite subtle.
HH Sivarama Swami: It’s not that fine but that close. False ego means ahankara, means its self based whereas self confidence is like “I have confidencethat Krsna will protect me”, “I have confidence that if I follow the principles of spiritual life I’ll become purified”, “I have confidence that my needs, that my material spiritual needs will be provided for by Krsna”, so thats self confidence. Self confidence at least from the spiritual sense, that if I follow the process of Krsna consciousness in a proper way I can be assured of success.
But not self confidence “that I’m the doer“. Self confidence that “I’m the das” then I get all the benefits of being a das that I can be assured of I can haveconfidence in that.
HH Sivarama Swami: No. If I have high confidence, if my faith is very high in Krsna and in the concept of Krsna’s the master and I’m the servant, so you can call that high self confidence but as long as it’s based on being a servant and not because I’m the doer; and I’m doing something, I’m getting the result or even because I’m such a great devotee.
But if it’s always tempered with trnad api sunicena; then that type of confidence in the results of devotional activities results of being a devotee, in fact there’s one Sanskrit quote that I don’t remember where its from but it talks about the pride of the disciple pride of the devotee. In other words he has pride and confidence in Krsna, he has pride in his spiritual lineage but nothing self based. Everything is Krsna and Guru based.
As soon as it becomes “I’m the centre aham” then it’s false because the result isn’t coming from me. But if the result is coming from Guru, and Krsna and parampara being the basis then that type of self confidence is fine.
Question: Low self esteem is ahankara also?
HH Sivarama Swami: yes, think that “I’m useless” “I’m never going to make spiritual advancement” or sometimes its turned on others that “lets face it, no one’s a pure devotee” and so on “ Prabhupada’s the only pure devotee and everyone else is...” . So that’s also false, because then you don’t have faith in Krsna. Why? Prabhupada couldn’t make any pure devotee. But if you follow the process why should I think I’ll never become anything? There may be a certain mood when they have that mood Jagai and Madhai had that I’m lower than the worm in the stool.
That’s the general mood, but at the same time he’s aware that he’s a manjari in the spiritual world and as his deep philosophical realisations in Krsna Consciousness ... described by Krsna Das Kaviraja Goswami. So they’re going on side by side.
But just to demean oneself it means a lack of faith. So yeah we should have faith that we can do anything and that’s what Prabhupada wanted us to do anything. On our own we can’t do anything, its real self esteem.
And just a final word on that self confidence; because actually we need to have a really great self confidence in the fact that we’re going back home back to Godhead. That takes more than climbing mountains conquering universes, or doing such other things. That’s the biggest thing we can try to achieve in this world. So how will you achieve it if you don’t have confidence you can do it. You can do it by the mercy of Guru and Krsna but we must have confidence we can do it so that we can actually attain it.
thank You dear Priya Mataji, for such a nice reply!
It is really nice. To torture oneself that i am low i am nothing i am this that is not humility. It is lack of faith into Krishna's mercy. Into Krishna's compassion on strength.
So right. And that happens when we are in the mode of ignorance.
And also true self confidence is that even if we are meek, we trust to Krishna that He will protect me. As like Gopas entered into the mouth of Agasura. They were insignificantly small and weak comparatively to that snake but they entered to his mouth confidently putting their faith into Krishna that He will surely help them.
That is self confidence in Krishna Consciousness.
But to think that i am the doer, i am the source of my good qualities and talents ... is self confidence in the mode of passion and it brings aggression and anger towards others.
Your servant,