Dear Hare Krishna Devotees,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
I seek your guidance and compassion regarding a matter that has been weighing heavily on my heart for the past year. During my parikrama at Govardhan, I received some soil from a revered sadhu in the end of choti parikrama marg (i took the soil from my hand from his bag). Later coming at home, I found small pebbles.. Later, a senior brahmachari advised me to place these pebbles in the Tulsi Maharani pot, which is used during Mangala Arati(Telling these ar enot govardhan shilas). I did as instructed but became confused about which specific pot(out of 2) I had placed them into. Although I tried to correct this by returning one of the pots to govardhan, I am not sure whether it was the correct one.
When I asked HG Radheshyam Prabhu through email, he reassured me that Govardhan Shilas are typically larger stones and not to worry. Yet, my heart remains troubled by the possibility that these small pebbles might be fragments of Govardhan Shilas. I fear I may have committed a grave offense (aparadha), and this concern has deeply affected my bhakti.
Since January, I have been going through a dark phase in my life, facing significant mental challenges. I am confused and worried, wondering if these difficulties are a result of my potential offense. This thought has only added to my distress and has made it difficult for me to find peace.
To address this, I humbly request your advice on how to properly atone for any offense I may have committed, knowingly or unknowingly. I understand that sincere repentance and rectification are crucial in the path of devotion. I am committed to doing whatever is necessary to make amends and purify my heart.
Please guide me on the appropriate steps to take in seeking forgiveness from Govardhan and from the Lord. Should I undertake specific prayers, rituals, or service to atone for this potential offense? Your wisdom and direction in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Will Krishna forgive me?
Hare Krishna.
Replies
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
Please do not trouble yourself so much. What is mentioned by the other devotees is right, we are not allowed to carry Giriraj ji back with us, unless we are gifted Giriraj ji by a sadhu and we are authorised by our guru.
However, Krsna is merciful prabhu. He sees our intent more than our action. He knows you didnt intend to bring Giriraj ji with you. You only wanted to bring some braj raj.
Still, to be absolutely above board, keep these pebbles in a safe clean place. Next visit to Govardhan, please deposit Them back.
If Krsna started punishing us for our crimes and misdemeanours, none of us would survive. We are like small children who are learning to walk, we will take 1 step, fall down, get up again and attempt to walk again. He loves us unconditionally, still gives us His mercy, His bhakti and association of His devotees.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
hare krishna mataji,......i am a doubtful person..i have put the pot into giriraj....but am unsure because am a doubful person that it was the correct pot...because two pots were somewhat identical in which i put those pebbles. I am somewhat sure that it was the correct pot because i matched the picture of one o the pebbles to the photo of pebbles....but due to my overthinking am confused.Yes he sees our intent more than action..Your words comforted me mataji.
hk
I heard that for taking a sila from Govardhan one should leave there the same weight in tulasi leaves or gold. No refs, sorry.
Better not to take anything out of Vraja but dust.
To know if something unclear is aparadha or not one could do deva prasna. I guess India natives know what it is.
Hari Hari
ys J.
yes the aboive reference for gold is correct.The fact that i took dust but small pebbles came with it. Dont know whether they are govardhan shilas