My husband SHOULD be only mine!

Hare Krsna to all devotees,

Please accept my humble obeisance,

All Glories to Srila Prabhupad,

I am getting married in few weeks. I am very tensed and nervous. I am just a beginner in KC and my would be husband is not a devotee.He is based in Singapore and I will be shifting with him after marriage. the place Singapore is more materialistic than India, there is more Maya there, how do I am preserve my chastity among men,truthfulness and purity there is a thing that is worrying me.I wish to stay true to him throughout my life.

Even, I am worried about my Sadhana there, will he permit or not?

My constant fear, he should love only me and not go behind other other women or associate after marriage.

Also, I have read in scriptures that common man can have two wives, though legally not permitted, I feel that taking scriptures as source, he might do such act. This is what I am fearing because I want his total love and the same I should do to him. I feel that any slight fight he will leave me and go behind other women.

Such thoughts are coming to my mind.

My only wish is to progress further in K.C, make my husband a devotee and also my future child.

Please help me come out of this fear and do my duties religiously as per scriptures.

Haribol

Hare Krishna Mataji,

I do not feel troubled at all ! Infact, I like to engage in spiritual or religious discussions.

Talking about Brahma marriage in detail :

In ancient days, there prevailed gurukul system, where the boy goes to live with his guru to acquire knowledge and expertise. This stage is Brahmacharya or studenthood for the boy and he would be eligible to get married only once he completes his studies that is brahmacharya and this form of marriage is named Brahma Marriage.

Once he is ready to get married after acquiring all the expertise required his parents would approach the family of a matching and eligible girl.

The father of the girl also carefully chooses the bridegroom who is well versed in Vedas and of a noble character. This is how a Brahma marriage was arranged.

The girl's family didn't have to give any dowry to the boy's family. There was the ritual of kanyadaan which symbolizes that the father gifts his daughter to the boy. In this system of marriage no commercial transaction is done.

Among the eight types this is regarded as the highest type of marriage by the dharmashastras. The goal of a Brahma marriage is the dharmic advancement of two families.

This marriage is performed even before the girl has attained her puberty. The mantras are chanted while performing the marriage, which are addressed by the groom to the bride who comes to him. It was understood that a girl's marriage, which has same significance for her that the upanayana has for a boy, must be performed when she is seven years old (or eight years from conception).

I hope that this satisfied your curiosity.

Hare Krishna !

Replies

Harshikesh Bhattacharya July 20, 2013 at 6:14pm

Hare Krishna Mataji !

I completely agree with your fears, as generally it is seen that NRI's who are not associated with any spiritual organisations are overly liberal regarding matters of food, drinking, relationship with opposite sex etc... This is a generalisation which may not be true in some cases. These days parents just marry their daughter to any NRI's before checking their antecedents and later daughters suffer.

But, I am really surprised that you are expressing such fears just few days before your marriage ! You should have checked about his antecedents before saying 'yes' to marry. By seeing his Janma-kundli, a good astrologer can exactly tell you about your fiance's psychological traits. He can even tell whether your fiance is compatible with you. So, you should make up your mind before committing yourself. Hence, please consult a learned astrologer.

Hare Krishna from this dasanudas

Harshikesh Bhattacharya
- Subhashini Gopinath > Harshikesh Bhattacharya July 21, 2013 at 12:48am
  
  Hare Krsna Harshikesh & Chandrakant Prabhuji,
  
  Thanks for your reply and concern. We had both's horoscopes tallied and it is said to be compatible. My parents didn't go into deep about my fiance's horoscope because it was done by a family astrologer far off in another city and my relatives got it done and informed my parents.
  
  Also, he is not totally an NRI., he has been working in Singapore since last 8 years and had all his education in India. My parents are also not yet devotees.
  
  It would be kind if you remove my fears for these above points.. as per scriptures. It will give me strength.
  
  Haribol
  - Harshikesh Bhattacharya > Subhashini Gopinath July 21, 2013 at 1:53am
    
    Dear sister,
    
    Vedically speaking, Singapore (i.e Simha [lion]+pur [city]) is after all a part of ancient Bharat varsha. It has a highly developed economy and the infation rate is also very moderate. If your fiance is a gentle hearted man and also financially sound, you can definitely marry him. Singapore also has an ISKCON temple. Here, you can associate with the devotees and maintain your satsang. Thus, you will get a good chance to grow materially as well as spiritually. This will really open a world full of new opportunities for you. And, we will definitely pray for your well-being in Singapore.
    
    Hare Krishna !
    
    Have a golden Krishna conscious married life ! : )
    - Subhashini Gopinath > Harshikesh Bhattacharya July 21, 2013 at 6:08pm
      
      Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
      
      Thanks for your kind reply... I also have another doubt... what is ideal marriage prescribed in this Kaliyuga according to scriptures.?
      
      Haribol
      - Harshikesh Bhattacharya > Subhashini Gopinath July 21, 2013 at 6:27pm
        
        Hare Krishna Mataji !
        
        Of the 8 kind of marriages, Brahma marriage is the best...
        
        According to the Brahma marriage, if the boy completes his Brahmacharya (student hood), he is eligible to be married. This marriage is done when the father of the boy approaches the girl’s parents and asks for her hand. And then the Brahma marriage is arranged. In this there is no system of dowry. One of the most important ritual of this marriage is Kanyadaan (where the father gifts his daughter to the groom.)
        
        Subhashini Gopinath > Harshikesh Bhattacharya July 21, 2013 at 9:48pm
        
        Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
        
        Thanks for clearing my doubt....Sorry..to trouble you, can I get more information about Brahma Marriage,its nature, how is it conducted? in detail
        
        Haribol
        
        Harshikesh Bhattacharya > Subhashini Gopinath July 22, 2013 at 12:15am
        
        Hare Krishna Mataji,
        
        I do not feel troubled at all ! Infact, I like to engage in spiritual or religious discussions.
        
        Talking about Brahma marriage in detail :
        
        In ancient days, there prevailed gurukul system, where the boy goes to live with his guru to acquire knowledge and expertise. This stage is Brahmacharya or studenthood for the boy and he would be eligible to get married only once he completes his studies that is brahmacharya and this form of marriage is named Brahma Marriage.
        
        Once he is ready to get married after acquiring all the expertise required his parents would approach the family of a matching and eligible girl.
        
        The father of the girl also carefully chooses the bridegroom who is well versed in Vedas and of a noble character. This is how a Brahma marriage was arranged.
        
        The girl's family didn't have to give any dowry to the boy's family. There was the ritual of kanyadaan which symbolizes that the father gifts his daughter to the boy. In this system of marriage no commercial transaction is done.
        
        Among the eight types this is regarded as the highest type of marriage by the dharmashastras. The goal of a Brahma marriage is the dharmic advancement of two families.
        
        This marriage is performed even before the girl has attained her puberty. The mantras are chanted while performing the marriage, which are addressed by the groom to the bride who comes to him. It was understood that a girl's marriage, which has same significance for her that the upanayana has for a boy, must be performed when she is seven years old (or eight years from conception).
        
        I hope that this satisfied your curiosity.
        
        Hare Krishna !
        
        Subhashini Gopinath > Harshikesh Bhattacharya July 22, 2013 at 10:05pm
        
        Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
        
        Thanks for the answer to my doubt..
        
        yes..you are right people saying like that are having bad samskaras due to bad karmas and only association of saintly people can help us tide over Maya.
        
        Haribol
        
        Subhashini Gopinath > Harshikesh Bhattacharya July 22, 2013 at 8:48am
        
        Hare Krsna Prabhuji...
        
        Thanks for satisfying my curiosity.. Your answer helped a lot in gaining knowledge about the types of Marriage as per shastras.
        
        Two more doubts I got from here....was this marriage monogamous?
        
        Secondly..can we keep Lord Ramachandra and Mother as ideal as act as per their actions though not imitating them but their principles in this Kaliyuga as people say it was in Treta Yuga, so not applicable in this age.
        
        Also, they say, it is too ideal and not for common man.. Please can you clear these both confusions.
        
        Haribol
        
        Harshikesh Bhattacharya > Subhashini Gopinath July 22, 2013 at 1:57pm
        
        Hare Krishna Mataji
        
        I do not see any confusion in this.
        
        Yes, this Brahma marriage is monogamous.
        
        Secondly, Lord Rama and mother Sita were an ideal couple. Lord Rama played the role of an ideal husband and mother Sita is truly a role model for all married women. Every Hindu should be encouraged to inculcate highest of Vedic values exhibited by Lord Rama and mother Sita.
        
        We don't need to be God to be loyal to our husband or wife. You just need a good character coupled with a strong will-power. Those who say that it is not possible at all to be loyal to one's other half, must be having bad samskars of their previous life. Good devotees never utter such weak words. If one keeps association of holy souls, he will develop enough spiritual strength to tide over all the mayic attractions. Hence, the key to a pure life is association of true Sant.
        
        Hare Krishna

of 4

This reply was deleted.