Hare Krsna to all devotees,
Please accept my humble obeisance,
All Glories to Srila Prabhupad,
I am getting married in few weeks. I am very tensed and nervous. I am just a beginner in KC and my would be husband is not a devotee.He is based in Singapore and I will be shifting with him after marriage. the place Singapore is more materialistic than India, there is more Maya there, how do I am preserve my chastity among men,truthfulness and purity there is a thing that is worrying me.I wish to stay true to him throughout my life.
Even, I am worried about my Sadhana there, will he permit or not?
My constant fear, he should love only me and not go behind other other women or associate after marriage.
Also, I have read in scriptures that common man can have two wives, though legally not permitted, I feel that taking scriptures as source, he might do such act. This is what I am fearing because I want his total love and the same I should do to him. I feel that any slight fight he will leave me and go behind other women.
Such thoughts are coming to my mind.
My only wish is to progress further in K.C, make my husband a devotee and also my future child.
Please help me come out of this fear and do my duties religiously as per scriptures.
Haribol
Replies
Hare Krishna Mataji.
First of all i would like to say you that if you have the full trust on Lord Shri Radhey Krishna, i am sure that you will get the true life partner. Marriage are perform on the earth but decided in Heaven, I would say that your worriness is genuine and it is a sign from Lord Krishna end that he wants you to be his true devotee. I hope you will be more involve in Krishna Consiousness. If you have this fear in your mind that your partner will not be honest and loyal for you after your marriage and will involve with some other one, it is indicate that you do not have full trust on Lord Krishna. First of all surender your self in front of Shri RadhaKrishna. Pray from them that give to both of you the inspreration for Krishna Consiousnes with full of love and trust. You know true bhakti towards Lord Krishna never get waste, if you will be loyal towards your husband then i am sure Lord Krishna also will give him the insperation to be loyal for you. Pray from Shri RadhaDamodar to keep both of you happy in married life and pray from them that kindly give to both of you true sprituality and devotinalism, so that both of you could involve in devotional activity towards Shri RadhaDamodar. One more thing if you will keep fullest turst on Shri Lord RadhaKrishna and serve them full of your heart, Im sure your husband will automaticly attract towards you and will be only yours. Just lead by an example try to chant of Hare Krishna Mahamantra everyday atleast six round of mala. Mataji thats all from end. I hope it will help you, me & my wife wish you a very all the best happy married lift towrds Shri Krishna Consiousness. May Shri RadhaKrishna bless to both of you for your marry life.
Hare Krishna
Jai Shree Radhey
hare krishna mataji,
Dont worry about the place. Srila Prabhupada has built a house where the whole world can live. You can find centres literally in every country.
The iskcon centre in singapore is 13, Cuff Road (Off Serangoon Road), ( In premises of Singapore Gujarati Bhavan ) Little India, Singapore – 209724.
There is also a Krishna mandir in Iskcon nearby only who follow Prabhupad. But they are not the real followers. they follow ritwikism. Please dont continue your sadhana under ritwik people.
The devotee (devakinandan prabhu) who is one of the iskcon leader there is an extremely nice devotee and disciple of HH Mahavishnu goswami maharaj. He gives very amazing classes which are very practical to follow and not fanatical.
Have a great time in association of singapore devotees
Mata ji!
This might help you.
JAI SRILA PRABHUPADAHARI BOL
JAI NITAI GAURACHANDRA
JAI ACHRYAS AND VAIHSNAVAS!
http://comics.iskcondesiretree.info/index.php?q=f&f=%2F02_-_For...
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“Actual heaven is the predominance of sattva-guna, and hell is the predominance of tamo-guna. I am the true friend of everyone, because I am the spiritual master of the entire universe. Home is one’s material body. A person who is enriched with good qualities is actually rich, and one who is dissatisfied is truly poor. A person who is attached to sense gratification is a slave, and one who is not attached is a master.”
“My dear Uddhava, I have replied to everything that you had inquired about. There is no need for a more elaborate description, because to constantly consider what is good and what is bad is itself a bad quality. The best quality is to rise above material conceptions of good and evil.”
Shri Uddhava said, “My dear lotus-eyed Krishna, the Vedic literatures can be thought of as Your law books. They primarily consist of descriptions of that which is good or desirable- and that which is bad or forbidden. How then is it possible to understand Your instructions without considering the difference between piety and sin? Indeed, without such an understanding, how could human society hope to be guided toward perfection in life? To understand things that are beyond our immediate perception, the Vedic literatures must surely be consulted, for they are the ultimate authority. The distinction between piety and sin certainly comes from the Vedic literatures. Therefore, if, at the same time, You discourage such a distinction, there will surely be confusion.”
The Supreme Lord said, “Uddhava, because I want all human beings to have a chance to achieve perfection, I presented three paths of advancement- karma, gyana and bhakti. Besides these three, there are absolutely no other paths of elevation. The path of gyana-yoga is recommended for those who are disgusted with material life. Those who are not disgusted with material life should practice karma-yoga. If, by good fortune, one is attracted to hearing and chanting My glories, then such a person, being neither very disgusted nor very attached to material life, should practice bhakti-yoga. The perfection of karma-yoga is attained when one is free from sinful activities and performs his prescribed duties properly without any desire for fruitive gain. As a result of such perfection, he will attain transcendental knowledge (gyana), or if he is very fortunate, devotional service to Me.”
“The human form is superior to both heavenly and hellish bodies because only a human birth gives nice facility for the attainment of transcendental knowledge and love of God. In other words, excessive absorption in both enjoyment and suffering are impediments to spiritual advancement. But, even though, for spiritual advancement, life on earth is superior to life in heaven and hell, one should not foolishly try to live here forever.”
“When a cruel man cut down a tree, the bird that had nested there flew away without attachment and continued to live happily somewhere else. The human body, although destined to be cut down, in due course of time, can award one all benefit, if used properly. The human body can be compared to a nice boat. The spiritual master is the captain and Vedic instructions are favorable breezes that impel it onward toward the ultimate goal of life. Considering all of this, one who does not utilize the human body to cross over the ocean of material existence is to be considered a killer of his own soul.”
“An expert trainer, while taming a headstrong horse, alternately lets it run free and then pulls sharply on the reins. Similarly, the transcendentalist may sometimes give his senses freedom to act, but he will never forget his goal of life and allow his senses to engage in sinful activity. Until one is firmly situated on the transcendental platform, he must always consider the temporary nature of all material objects. After extensive consideration, when one becomes thoroughly disgusted with the temporary, illusory nature of this world, he will at last give up his false identification with matter. Even if there is some accidental falldown, he should simply continue with his devotional activities, to burn to ashes any sinful reactions. No other procedure is required.”
“For a devotee, or any transcendentalist, real piety is to adhere to his spiritual position, and real sin is to neglect his prescribed duties. One who adopts this standard while desiring to give up all kinds of illusory sense gratification, will be able to give up all material activities, which are by their very nature, impure. After becoming disgusted with material activities, knowing that they simply lead to misery, when a devotee has awakened his faith in the narration of My glories, he may still not be able to renounce all sense enjoyment, due to past habit. Such a person should engage in My devotional service in a happy mood, while sincerely repenting that he sometimes becomes deviated by sense enjoyment.”
A sincere devotee may sometimes be disturbed by sex attraction or by lingering sentiments for wife and children. Of course, a pure devotee feels spiritual affection for all living entities, including so-called wife and children, but he knows that bodily attachment can lead to no ultimate benefit.
Lord Krishna said, “When a devotee constantly worships Me with love, his heart becomes firmly situated in Me, so that all of the material desires that were within his heart become destroyed. The knot in the heart (hridaya-granthi) becomes slashed, all misgivings are cut to pieces, and the chain of fruitive activities is terminated.”
“Everything that can be achieved by fruitive acts, the cultivation of knowledge, yoga, and all kinds of religious duties is easily achieved by My devotee. Whether My devotee desires to go to heaven, achieve liberation, or reside in My own abode, these are easily accomplished. Generally, though, My pure devotees, who possess saintly behavior and deep intelligence, do not desire anything besides Me. Indeed, even if I offer them liberation, they do not accept it. In this way, it can be understood that the concept of material piety and sin do not even exist in the minds of unalloyed devotees. “
“Piety and impiety in the material world are actually relative concepts. They are not absolute. Everyone’s body, from Brahma’s down to the most insignificant, is made of earth, water, fire, air and ether. But, even though the living entities are similar in this way, the Vedic literatures divide the human society into four classes, according to propensity (intellectual, ambitious for power, enterprising and servile).”
A doctor will relate to a crazy person by speaking to him sympathetically, according to his false conception of life. In a similar way, the Vedic literatures instruct persons according to their conditional situation. Steadiness in one’s position is considered piety, whereas deviation is considered impiety. Therefore, piety and impiety are relative to one’s position within the varnashrama system.
Lord Krishna said, “My dear Uddhava, to help the living entities achieve their desired goals in life, I have established- that which is proper, and that which is improper- among objects, time and place, etc. Those places are considered to be contaminated that are without spotted deer and respectable persons who are devoted to the brahmanas, where cleanliness is neglected, where meat eaters are prominent, and where the land is barren. Any time that is appropriate for performing one’s prescribed duty is considered pure. That time which impedes one’s duty is considered impure.”
An object’s purity or impurity depends upon contact with another object, passage of time, etc. For example, impure cloth becomes purified by contact with water, and clean cloth becomes impure by contact with urine. Impure things may or may not sinfully infect a person, depending upon that person’s strength, intelligence, physical condition, etc. For example, during a solar eclipse, if a healthy person eats, he becomes contaminated, but a very weak person can eat without becoming contaminated. Worn out, dirty clothes and a messy house are contaminating for a wealthy person, but not for a poor man. In a safe and peaceful place, one is obliged to strictly perform all religious rituals, but not in a dangerous or chaotic situation.
Lord Krishna said, “Various objects are purified by time, wind, fire, earth or water- either separately or in combination. Purification is effective when it removes a bad odor, a covering of dirt, etc. One’s self can be purified by bathing, giving charity, performing austerity, by age (a child is considered to be pure or innocent), by physical strength, by performing prescribed duties and, above all, by remembering Me. A mantra is purified when it is chanted with proper knowledge, and work is purified when the result is offered to Me. By purification of place, time, substance, doer, mantras and works, one becomes religious. By neglecting these six, one is considered irreligious.”
“What is ordinarily considered piety may under some conditions be sin, and what is ordinarily considered sinful may sometimes be piety. Thus, there is no clear demarcation between sin and piety.”
Children below the age of fourteen are considered incapable of properly distinguishing between good and bad, and so they are not held responsible. Animals also cannot be praised or blamed for their so-called good or bad acts.
Lord Krishna continued, “An act that would degrade an elevated person does not harm one who is already fallen. Indeed, a person who is lying on the ground cannot fall any further. Practically speaking, the association that is dictated by one’s acquired nature is considered proper.”
“By refraining from a particular act one becomes freed from its bondage. Such renunciation is the basis of all auspicious and religious life for human society, because it drives away all illusion, fear and suffering. The reason for this is as follows. From attachment to sense objects, lust arises, and from lust is born quarrel among men. This produces intolerable anger, which plunges one into the darkness of ignorance, thus obliterating one’s good intelligence.”
Due to false ego, we accept the material body as one’s self, and we consider ourselves to be the proprietors and enjoyers of our actions. In truth, however, we are all parts and parcels of Lord Krishna, and so it is Krishna Who is the real proprietor and enjoyer of our activities. Material lust produces anger because of frustration, and thus quarrel among men is created. If Lord Krishna alone is the factual enjoyer, where is the competition? Without Krishna consciousness, there is a constant struggle between innumerable false enjoyers.
Lord Krishna continued, “Uddhava, a person who is bereft of real intelligence, and thus deviated from the actual purpose of life- becomes dull, almost like a dead man. Persons, who are absorbed in sense gratification live uselessly in ignorance, like a tree. Of course, the Vedic literatures also promise sense gratification in heaven, but this is merely an enticement to approach the real goal of life, the Supreme Lord.”
“Just by taking birth, one automatically becomes absorbed in thinking about personal sense gratification, bodily strength, sexual potency, as well as family members and friends. Attachment to all of these things acts to defeat a person’s real self-interest. How then could the Vedas actually encourage material attachment? Even those who perform Vedic sacrifices, if they are sense enjoyers, are incapable of understanding Me, as the cause of all causes. Indeed, the bodily concept of life is like a dense fog that covers the eyes of the conditioned souls, making them incapable of seeing God.”
“Just as a foolish businessman spoils his hard-earned wealth by investing wrongly, a foolish person gives up what is valuable in life so that he can pursue promotion to heaven, which is actually just like a dream. Such unintelligent persons worship various deities, headed by Indra, but fail to properly worship Me. The Vedas describe the spiritual nature of the living entity, but in an esoteric way, so that I am not easily approached by those who are not qualified. For this reason, the transcendental sound of the Vedas is very difficult for ordinary persons to understand.”
“As the Paramatma dwelling within everyone’s heart, I manifest all of the Vedic sounds, beginning with omkara. Just as a spider brings forth its web from its heart and then from out of its mouth, I manifest Myself as the reverberating primeval vital air (prana), which comprises all of the Vedic sounds, expanding from omkara. I am the ritualistic sacrifices that are prescribed by the Vedas, and I am the worshipable Deity. It is I Who am that which is to be understood by the various philosophical methods, and it is I Who the transcendental sound vibration ultimately establishes.”
It is very interesting to take note of the following: The Vedic literatures describe progressive life as consisting of various stages. Of course, a person should not become fixed upon a particular stage, but should always be prepared to progress to the next level. For this reason, the Vedic literatures will recommend something in one place and then reject that same thing somewhere else. For example, those who are addicted to sex enjoyment are taught to accept marriage as a way of regulating sex pleasure. But elsewhere, a person who has become detached from sex life is asked to accept the sannyasa order, where any contact with women is forbidden. All such recommendations and progressions are simply meant to lead one to the ultimate goal- Krishna consciousness. For this reason, nowhere in the Vedic literatures is it ever recommended that one should give up Krishna consciousness in favor of something else.
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
Thanks for your detailed reply....
"We don't need to be God to be loyal to our husband or wife. You just need a good character coupled with a strong will-power"
I wish to follow this religious principle and also,
I have seen many girls and boys flirting even after marriage...going behind girls and boys after marriage, having relationships in my daily life....I just want to know what do d shastras say about ideal husband- wife relationship in Kaliyuga.....with scriptural references
& how marriage is a life-long commitment--scriptural references...
Haribol
Hare Krsna Shubham Prabhuji,
Just as you gave scriptural references of SB.verses to answer my doubts in Gay and same sex marriage... please can u give direct scriptural references for my above doubt...
usually in previous ages women did not showed their naked bodies, face to other man. What to speak of talking to them.
There are husband and wife psychologists in Russia so once Prabhu told why men call our home and talk to my wife. He became upset and requested to talk to him not to her.
So as we see married woman especially should not talk with other men even nowadays.
Women and girls who do so will only suffer and bring suffering to others and same is with men.
Your servant,
IN KALIYUGA, IF ONE WANTS TO SPIRITUALLY ADVANCE, THERE IS EASIEST WAY CHANTING, HEARING AND OTHER LIMBS OF BHAKTI. TO MAINTAIN BODY, ONE SHOULD EARN A LIVELIHOOD BY PIOUS MEANS OR DEPEND ON HUSBAND, FATHER, SON, ETC. AS FAR AS LIVING A PIOUS LIFE IS CONCERNED, ONE SHOULD JUST DO HARINAMA SANKIRTANA YAJNA BY CHANTING IN JAPA AND SANKIRTANA, DO EKADASI VRATAS, OBSERVE FASTING ON HOLY DAYS, ENGAGE IN READING-HEARING SRIMAD BHAGAVATAM AND OTHER DEVOTIONAL LITERATURES, AND ABSTAIN FROM SINS LIKE MEAT-EATING, INTOXICATION, GAMBLING, ILLICIT SEX.
YOU SHOULD NOT CARE TO FOLLOW RULES AND REGULATIONS OF KARMA-KANDA. A DEVOTEE SHOULD FOLLOW VAISHNAVA SCRIPTURES LIKE SAT KRIYA SARA DIPIKA, HARI BHAKTI VILASA, ETC FOR DOING NORMAL RITUALS.
ALL PIETIES FOLLOW A DEVOTEE AUTOMATICALLY. READ www.vedabase.net/sb/5/18/12/en2
BUT WE SHOULD NOT HANKER FOR MUNDANE PIETY OR RELIGION.
DEVOTIONAL SERVICE IS POTENT ENOUGH TO CLEAR THE DIRT OF HEART AND TO MAKE THE SOUL PURE INTERNALLY AND EXTERNALLY.
SAY THANKS TO HIS DIVINE GRACE SRILA A.C. BAHKTIVEDANTA SWAMI PRABHUPADA, ACHARYAS AND LORD
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