• Hare Krishna Chirag Prabhuji.  Very Nice Reply.  Hari Bollllllllllllllllllllllllllll

  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna Prabhuji,


    Wow, you did a lot of research on the topic and honestly, I have done nothing so far.

    I do not know how to ask HG Kaunteya prabhu for that ppt, else I would be able to quote exactly what I had read then.

    Regarding ,"...Men are allowed to bhave like princes and demand, whereas women start feeling the difference in the sexes from the time they enter the marraige market." Srila Prabhupada never endorsed this view. He gave separate instructions to men. 

    I am talking of ground reality - not what Srila Prabhupada said. Ask any of the girls who are trying to get married - what is humiliation? Why do you think this post has come up at all - people become so fed up, then they start thinking what is the big thing that will happen by getting married -  more misery, taking care of someone and his family and forever facing flak from them....that is when they think better to be unmarried than go through this hassle.

    Still this institution called marriage has been created for some purpose and therefore people do get married.

    Dowry is such an evil - everyone agrees. Most men agree only in theory, not when it applies to them. No point talking about it - it will not get any result - only open a pandora's box.

    What I have figured out is getting married is difficult for both men and women, much more so for women devotees, because they want devotee husbands, whereas men still want someone from the same community so taht mother is happy, they can get some dowry on the side (without asking for it, same community, the girls side knows the rules) and ofcourse force the girl to take up KC after marriage.

    Will revert if I have more information.


    Your servant,


  • Hare Krishna,

    Though this may not be relevant, Mira bai was married to Krishna- when she was very young, though externally, her body was married to some rajput king.(in fact all of us are factually married to Krsna, he is the supreme enjoyer) The same may apply, we are all female, and Krsna is the only enjoyer(purusa-male) so we are in illusion that ''I have married a male devotee''

     It is always said that 'do not imitate', like Krsna has 16,108 wives, similarly how can we imitate a pure devotee, but i think that once surrendered to Him, we are done. It doesn't really matter then oh I am married  or not. So, just know that we are already married, and even if it is tagged as "marriage", there is really no such thing, so do not really be attached to the bodily aspect of it. "I am just seeking protection so that I can serve Krna even better."should be the attitude.

    Basically, what I mean is we are not really aiming to get married or have a devotee husband and a perfect being, no. What we want is just to serve Krsna, even if it means getting married for that matter. Gratifying our senses is maya(illusion of the highest degree in an imbecilic and ignorant manner), but the gopis just wanted to satify Krsna's senses(that is Krishna consciousness).

    Krishna consciousness is all about satisfying Krishna, like bhaktivinid thakura said he would have sex hundreds of time if it were to beget Krishna consciouss children and they could then be used in the service of Krishna.(the whole point of varnas and grihastas for that matter is to satisfy Krsna)

    He is our Husband, though externally we may take shelter from another ksara, (part and parcel of Krishna) to help us serve our HUsband even better.we aren't really lesbians.


    Please correct me if i am wrong,

    most fallen,


  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna Prabhuji,


    It was a seminar by HG Kaunteya Prabhu of Mayapur. He was giving a seminar on bhaktivriksha. I saw that quote there, on the power point presentation he was giving.

    I have heard that Srila Prabhupada himself told atleast some women devotees that its ok if they dont marry, because they were so much into devotion that they would not be able to do justice to husband and marriage.

    I will look for references prabhu. Will give you if I find.


    YOur servant,


  • Hare Krishna..

    Its not in your hands. You may not want to get married but eventually may get married. Please be open to all situations. You can serve Krishna even after marriage also.

    On different note, there will be time when this body would need the sexual desires to be fulfilled. If you are married, then it will be satisfied by your husband/wife. But if you are not married, then anything may happen. Choose which one is better.



  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna,


    I agree it is very very difficult for devotee girls to get married. The choice becomes so limited. For devotee boys, they will still go by their caste and community and can even marry a non devotee girl, but devotee girls wanting to marry a devotee boy is quite a challenge and very few do get married. That is not to say that it is the end of their problems - rather it is the beginning.

    We become so caught up in finding a suitable match and forever doing the pros and cons of what if he is a devotee and what if he is a non devotee, that by the time we find a devotee, we think we have hit jackpot and the whole devotee community thinks that the girl is the most fortunate. Only after marraige do girls realise, this is the beginning of another journey. Devotee or non devotee, we still have to make the marraige work and for that, both husband and wife have to put in their efforts.

    This is sadly a largely unexplored area in ISKCON, being a relatively new community. That is the reason there have been so many divorces in ISKCON.

    It just proves the statement in Gita - this world is dukhalayam ashashwatam. We are forever endeavouring for a better life, for more joy and contentment, and we are forever facing more and more problems. Absolutely no one has won in material relationships. Everyone just invests in relationships and everyone fails or gets hurt in the journey. Therefore, better to concentrate on Krsna and thank Him for all the problems given. That will help us develop detachment for the world and realise the futility of the whole effort. Then we will be inclined towards Krsna and develop true attachement for Krsna, bringing lasting peace, contentment and joy.


    Your servant,


  • Volunteer

    the problem of Devotee girls is that it is very tuft to find a suitable Devotee match to them. 

    So they desire to remain unmarried. Why to get married to not so much serious Devotee? 

    Better they get married to non  Devotee pious boys but to boy who is equal or higher than her in all aspects. 





    Your servant, 

  • Volunteer

    i also thought of it many times. I was ready for this and was practicing it for 4-5 years - this mentality that i won't get married.

    Life will be peaceful and blissful ONLY if you are in the right association with so many Devotees around. With intense seva. With intense preaching; Mangala Arati, proper diet - simple food.

    Intense attention to the Holy Names, intense attention to Deity worship. No job in karmi world other wise senses may get agitated plus if so then we have to live alone or among karmis which is not favorable for celibacy. 

    I was living at the  Temple and whole day was busy with Temple seva.

    Life really was blissful. But of course externally i lost my weight because of no time for proper food, i used to wear very simple dress, no much make up, less sleep - not more that 6 hours, always ready and clean to serve to Deities...

    And to be a pujari is not so easy. You cannot be in the same dress always, for eating you chance your dress, for sleeping etc. Not touch this and that, not eat too much or else again you will waste time for bathing...or sleeping...

    And it is really, really austere. 

    And such like austerity makes woman's heart hard. It is not good for them.

    Of course chanting was blissful, but still physically i became weak.

    Plus many times i felt that i am exploited by others. When we do not have someone in our back - some man who protects us people will use us because of our weakness.

    So i was exploited even by senior Devotees.

    If Temple is well organized that  even Matajis can reside there, and live as if  at home, with not over austerities then that is nice.

    But at the Temple where i stayed it was not there. 

    So no matter what if we do not have proper man in our back to protect us at least someone will exploit us.

    In India there is no Matajis' ashram. So if girls here want to remain as brahmacharinis then they have to maintain themselves by doing outside job. And doing outside job it is not so easy to be fully Krishna Conscious. And when we are not fully absorbed with seva then our senses are strong and they will demand their food. 

    So we will have desire for opposite sex, nice food...other comforts.

    In other countries there are ashrams for Matajis. But let me be honest: in order to stay in ashram i should not wear that saree which i want, use make up, use jewelries, eat food which i i am not a person for this ashram.

    So the option is to get married to a nice Devotee and make your own home a Temple. 

    In the reality girl becomes brahmacharini when she gets married.

    Brahmacharis live in the Temple under the protection of Guru and are engaged with menial services. So after marriage girl also will remain under the protection of her guru - husband and do menial services.

    Plus our desires will be fulfilled, and mind is peaceful. And when time comes by Krishna's mercy we will become pure from all attachments and go back to Godhead.


    Premature renunciation leads to frustration.

    This one i understood.

    Your servant,  

    • Volunteer

      hare krishna ! mataji please accept my humble obeisances. I agree with you totally. I can also understand the anguish of other mataji. Age of kali is not for sanyasis. This is difficult. Even Sri Nityananda Prabhu showed the path by marring. By following Gruhasta dharma still we can be Gruhasta brahmachari or Gruhasta brahmacharini. This is all i can say....

      yours trying to be servant,

      beera prabhu das

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