My heart is filled with jealous and hatred please help...

Please read my story with a calm mind although its long but i want to keep all my feelings in front of devotees:-

1. In 2016 i got married when i came in the house just after 1 month i started supporting my husband and was doing all household work alongwith my job. 

2. At that time i have to pay Rs275000 of loan of my husband which he has acquired to arrange the marriage.

3. I used to get up at 5'o clock in the morning prepare food and when come in the evening at 7pm prepare food.

4. My mother in law always critisized me that this food is not good or tasty or doesnt have tomato namak mirch etc so many complaints.

5.Then after 2 months my mother in law's neiece marraige scheduled to be happened.

6. She asks my husband to gift Rs.25000/- bed my husbands earning at that time was only Rs.21000/- even then he arranged everything she asked for and she spent near about Rs.70-80k in that marriage and doesn't care about my husband's loan.

7. When i started arguing that why so much money is spent please take care of money spent according to earnings. She started abusing me like randi kutiya kamini tere pese pe thhuu he.

8. Now the situation is our house sold now we are shifted to a rented house. I have a 10 months daughter. My husband's job is lost he is struggling for the job.

9. My mother in law 2-3 months back asked for Smartphone and my husband again fulfilled her wish.

10.I am earning and so my house is running. 

11.My mother in law daily goes to ISKON temple and sometimes waste food of the house. That ISKON temple very frequently organises dinner or lunch and my mother in law doesn't care about food cooked at home and eats lavish dinner in the temple.

12.My question is if someone goes to ISKON temple whether he/she gets licence to do anything wrong to any person? And we are not suppossed to feel victim or grow hatred just because she goes to temple.

13. Many of you have suggested to question her face to face i had in the past nothing happened only home peace disturbed.

14. Navratri are coming whenever we goes to temple she accompany us and i am bound to take her along. Then my heart filled with so much hatred that she did not do for her children she is so selfish even then she is enjoying spiritual life and on the other hand my parents are there.

15.My father is retired my mother is school teacher and working and alone does all the household work. Living in a very low quality house suffers the pain of summer, rain, winter as the roof is open. They didi everything for us and are living with so many obstacles in the life and that too alone.

16. On the other hand my mother in law is there used her childeren for her selfish motives even then god is supporting her don't know why.


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                    • E-Counselor
                      You are coming to a public forum and telling daily happenings of your house - this i don't like. I understand everyone needs to vent out and you may need support and guidance also. THis is not the way. Your situation is very much manageable. I don't like to give solutions like this, publicly. I have repeatedly asked you to send me email.
                      If you are willing to listen, I can tell you - one on one.
                      If not, we will pray for you.
                    • I daily chant a round of Hare krishna mahamantra. I have a pocket Gita i had read that 7-8 times. Ramayan i usually read during shardiya navratra but not every year last i remember i have read in 2014. I have read ramayan earlier also 2-3 times. To be honest today i did not chant even that single round my mind was not stable not calm was not able to concentrate on sadhna. I finished my work of cooking prepare sabji and roti of breakfast and come to the office.
  • Hare Krishna,
    Your heart is the place where Lord resides. Keep it clean.
    Lord will feel uncomfortable in a place where there is so many other things like hatred, jealousy anger this that. DON't make my lord unhappy.
    Hare Krishna.
    • Kya karu me phr aap hi bataye subh sham mera man rota he dukhi hota he. Roj ghar ka khana ya to waste hota he ya mere gharwale basi khana khate he. Ab me lunch ni banake aati kuki waste hota he bacha rehta he to wo din me banati he sham tak ke liye aur khud mandir chali jati he khane. Kal bhi mere pati aur sasur subh ki basi sabji roti kha rae the mera pate kharab tha mene khichdi khayi thi me mana kar ayi thi mere liye kuch mat banana. Aur wo mandir jake puri sabji halwa kha rahi thi. Rasoi me jati hu dekhti hu naye saman ka pkt khula hota he purana saman dekhte ni kya rakha he aise hi daba reh jata he wo. mere sasur piche kuch na kuch late rehte he kuch ni hota to search karne ki koshish ni karte. In nutshell kya karu me aap bataye mera man dukhi he bhagwan ke mandir jane ka matlab kisi ko pareshan karne ka licence mil jana he. Aaj me majbur hu kuki meri ek choti beti he agar saas chali gai to wo kiske pass rahegi. Mere pati bhi meri saas ki tarafdari hi karte he kai bar to man karta he me aur meri beti dono ko jehar deke maar du me.
      • Mata ji mata ji my dear mata ji cool down.. dont think of all those steps of killing urself etc.
        A person who commits suicide..will be born as brahma rakshasas and can never go back to Lord ever. And you have no right to take the life of ur daughter neither your body is yours. Body is given by lord to complete one's karma in this world and no one has right on his body or soul.. Its all Lord's property.
        You are having painful days.. just keep calm now. Bear it it is you bad days have faith in Krishna.
        He will find some way.
        I will pray for you. Seek shelter only form Lord. And stop blaming others for your karma.
        Whatever you sow you reap the same.
        Just seek forgiveness from lord and dont commit more mistakes by blaming others.
        Accept it as ur fate. and move on.
        Thats all i can say.
        Hare Krishna.
        • me apni beti ke liye hi sab sehan kar ri hu. Me kaha galat hu mujhe ye batayie meri saas jo kar ri he wo sahi he? Mene sab chod diya he time par aage bhagwan ki marji..
          • haan ek kaam kar sakti hai aap. take your child and go to ur parents home and stay there. Say i need someone to take care of my child when i got out to work to work peacefully. So, if you want to accompany me well and good if not stay with your parents stay with them....bol dena husband ko.
            Hare Krishna
            • mere aur husband ke bich ke terms kharab ho jaenge. Agar hamara rishta kharab ho gaya to meri bacchi ka kya hoga in sabme uska kya kasoor he. Aur mere pati ko lagega ki me unke tough time me chodke chali gai jabki me aisi nahi hu. Meri ladai sirf ye he ki money ho ya ghar ki koi aur chij waste nahi hona chahiye kuch bhi. Ghar sambhalna chahiye thk se. Koi solution nahi is problem ka siway mere ander hi ander ghutne ke. Bs bhagwan se pray kijiyega meri beti thk rahe me chahe mar jau ghut ghut ke meri beti thk rahe.
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