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In recent days I happen to see some cases where wife/husband who is not a devotee is either asking for divorce or choosing adultery to satisfy their material needs. Material minded people have so many urges and desires , devotees being trained to live pure restricted life may not satisfy them and this would result either in separation or illicit relationship chosen by the partner. So, it is better to marry a devotee or marry a non-devotee who know about lifestyle of a devotee completely otherwise there can be big problems in future which may even cost life.
Hare Krishna Prabhu! You have the answer hidden on your question only.. The question is why in first place a truly devoted Vaishnava will marry a Materialistic mindset non devotee person? (Unless it's because of the one's family pressure) or a Non devotee who's looking for good sex life will marry a true Vaishnava?
The answer is simple -
If you're Non-devotee and is on seach of material pleasure than you should not go for a Vaishnava girl only later to cheat and hurt her feelings by having outside affairs, but if you want to change your path and lead your life to an amazing adventure ahead through Krishna consiuosness you should marry a Vaishnava and together both go on a path to liberation from the cycle of birth and death..
A pure Vaishnava will posess these qualities- :
Equal to Everyone (to all classed religions regardless of race nationality color views)
Aware that everything belongs to Krishna
A performer of welfare work for everyone
Who surrendered to Krishna
Indifferent to material acquisitions and not obsessed with them
Completely in control of bad qualities and his 5 senses
Moderate in eating
Respectful and Loyal
a person without false ego and prestige
a friend to all
Poetic Divine and Mild
Om Tat Sat (Everything is within you)
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
What you have mentioned typically happens when the couple gets married, afterwards one partner gets into devotion and the other partner is not interested. I personally know ladies who fought with their husbands and came into devotion only to save their marriage. Now they are convinced devotees and very senior matajis.
I also know one couple whose marriage almost broke because the husband came into devotion and could not appreciate whatever little his wife was doing.
This happens more because of the partner who has taken to devotion. It is initial stages, that much realisation is not there, they dont know how to be patient and cultivate the other partner into devotion, but have heard of some rules and regulations in lectures or read in books, they start to find fault with their partner to such an extent that the non devotee partner takes an aversion to devotion, esp the ISKCON way.
That is the reason we encourage couples to come to our classes together and consciously cultivate the non devotee partner, at the same time counselling the devotee partner on how to be patient. We have tried this with a newly married couple, husband in our group, wife non veg eating, non pious (not much faith in God). Out of love for her husband and due to friendship with the group, she has now become Krsnaterian, chants 16 rounds and now has Laddu Gopal in her house, whom she takes care of very lovingly. All this within 15 months of marriage. She even renders service in the temple during festival times and is ever ready for any service.
Radha Rasamayi DD
Sometimes looking from a wide perspective, if we follow the rules given by Srila Prabhupad such a combination may become favorable to the nondevotee as well as devotee.
By living with a non devotee while cultivating Krsna consciousness may make us very attentive so that amongst all the troubles we learn how not to leave the lotus feet of Lord Krsna.
A non devotee spouse may feel inspired. If he doesn't cultivate KC at once also one can cook and feed and eat Krsna prasadam daily.
There is nothing auspicious in the world (gift by Krsna) other than Jagannath Maha prasadam.
When nondevotees have Krsna prasadam somehow or other in majority of cases they tend to talk atleast a sentence about Krsna or (God, or some really important instructive teaching for life etc) . Iv seen this at home many a times.
In the least case they would atleast say the food is very delicious. That's it.
Jagannath Maha Prasadam or Krsna prasadam is not only the savior for such a couple but a life giver too.
Hare KRsna Prabhuji,
Yes, it is advisable to go for horoscope match before looking at a profile for marriage.
Regarding varna, in Kaliyuga, everybody is a sudra. I have seen people checking the gana - manusya gana, devata gana, rakshasa gana.
Anyways, if you match horoscopes, these things will automatically come out.
Radha Rasamayi DD
As if marriages between devotees is completely devoid of all problems.
When two people start to stay together..there will be fights ego clashes..
no marriage is successful unless there is underlying love within it. If there is no love then any marriage can break.
There are no like minded people...what should be there is understanding, adjustment and cooperation.
These days we rarely find adjusting mentalities.....
In olden days also there were fights between couple but there were living together adjusting..not simply opting divorce or adultery as a rescue.
Material mind is the root cause and and selfishness...! Selflessly loving other person is completely lacking now.
basically people are married seeing the outer appearances....that is the main reason.
desire for supremacy in both the genders is also increasing.
If there is some lacunae in the marriage....people are easily opting for divorce or adultery to satisfy the needs. But don't care to sit and sort out the differences and understand giving time each other ....giving space to each other..is lacking
Basically........Love is lacking. Two people are just attracted to each other and marrying.. Attraction is a temporary thing., when attraction is lost they no longer want to continue.
devotee and a devotee if get married also there is no gaurantee that their marriage is gonna be successful.
Well, Karma also comes into play.
we decide so much and marry but what is in store in our destiny it is bound to happen. In Telugu we have a saying..
punyam koddi purushudu., danam koddi biddalu" it means your good karma decides you life partner, while our charity decides you children's fate.
You cannot chose parents, brothers, sisters, friends, and life partner....they just happen. We think we are deciding..but actually they come to you as per ur destiny.
In majority cases a devotee- devotee pair is successful as they have one goal. And as devotees they know what to be given priority.. body or the soul. ....selfish interests vs. Lord. They know clearly what is given more priority to.
This is a nice vid. you can watch it.
even this vid.