Hare Krishna . Please accept my humble obesiances. All glories. 

I want to get married to a devotee, but I don't know how and I am 42 and can't have children. Can I still get married? What can I do? 

You need to be a member of ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT to add comments!

Join ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT

Email me when people reply –


  • Volunteer

    Hare krsna mataji,

    I am sure Rashmi mataji would have provided you with the best counsel.

    Just my 2 cents regarding the matter, if you feel that getting married will assist in progressing further in KC, then there is nothing wrong in seeking a devotee for marriage irrespective of whether you can have children or not. If Krsna wills, then He will arrange the path accordingly.

    Sometimes, having another person in the household who can help assist us in keeping us honest and humble in the KC path becomes essential. Only krsna knows whats best for you and He will communicate accordingly. You just have to have faith and follow Him.

    Hare krsna.

  • Hare Krsna!

    The devotee was mentioning Vanaprastha.  Actually, "Vana" means forest.  How many spiritual aspirants are experienced at living in a forest, remaining vegetarian, and upholding the basic standards of the Hare Krsna belief?

    I believe it will be a helpful idea for devotees to consider going off-the-grid as much as possible and this is in the direction of living in the forest.  Here is a group I just created with Google. 

    HARE KRSNA "Off - the - Grid" :

    The artificial standards of living in many areas of the world has made nature's arrangements covered over or confused.  In nature the natural order of the husband of the head of the household may take place automatically.  This is not just a question of the male ego or some kind of egotism.  I believe the hormones and other bodily functions are affected by the relationship between the man and the woman in marriage. 

    May Lord Sri Krsna Bless you Abundantly!

    Your humble neighborhood Hare Krsna,

    Dandavats dasa


  • Hare Krsna!


    I believe that most devotees can use friends and family that they can count on for confidence and trust.  The rare few are so spiritually advanced that they can simply depend on the mercy of God. 

    I noticed this article or essay about marriage on ISKCON DESIRE TREE. The article is rather lengthy and I had to utilize text-to-speech software to review the contents. This essay does nothing more to explain Hare Krsna beliefs regarding marriage.

    For the remaining sections:;


    Therefore, it is notable that the Mataji is willing to accept marriage vows.  This in itself should be appreciated.   Sex desire is a struggle for all married couples who are serious spiritual aspirants. 

    Srila Prabhupada said so many things about marriage.  Some devotees may have trouble rounding up everything Srila Prabhupada said about marriage.  A couple of items can get overlooked. 

    *Srila Prabhupada indicated a number of times that the married couple should be the same age or the wife younger.  This will help a little in establishing the husband as the head of the household.  Establishing the husband as head of the household is not always easy in these modern times.  Perhaps some women are from traditions that more or less match these Vedic concerns for marriage. 

    *Srila Prabhupada mentions the circumstance in marriage choice that the wife should not be of a higher caste.  This helps to ascertain the husband as the head of the household.  Here is a purport by His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada where he says some things about mixtures in marriages.  I do not know if all of this statements in this purport are entirely relevant here.  However, I am presenting for your information. 

    ["Among the mixed classes, there are two divisions -- pratilomaja and anulomaja. If a woman of a high caste marries a man of a lower caste, their union is called pratiloma. If a woman of a low caste, however, marries a man of a higher caste, their union is called anuloma. The members of such dynasties have their traditional duties as barbers, washermen and so on. Among the antyajas, those who are still somewhat pure in that they do not steal and are not addicted to meat-eating, drinking, illicit sex and gambling are called antevasayi. Among people of the lower classes, intermarriage and the drinking of wine are allowed, for these people do not recognize such conduct as sinful among themselves."]

    >>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 7.11.30

    Some people may have trouble accepting abject renunciation of sex as instructed by leading Vaisnavas.  However, sex desire is also a health concern and so those who have trouble renouncing sex desires will probably suffer health problems. 

    In relation to the sex desire concern in everyone's life is diet control.  it is not always easy to just demand that someone control their diet.   Many people have trouble establishing very strict diet controls. There are a number of strong indications in the Vaisnava teachings for spiritual aspirants to realize very serious diet control in their life.   I believe that only the certain few spiritual aspirants that have trouble controlling their diet will do well as leading Vaisnavas.  Over-all, I am inclined to believe that anyone who has trouble controlling their diet will probably suffer associated health problems or medical problems.  Check with your professional health care provider about diet and other healthy living concerns. 

    Devotees establishing themselves as renunciants and potential leaders in spirituality is also a difficult proposition. 

    I have posted the topic of "Hare Krsna Centers for Women" a number of times.  This might be something worth considering.  Mother Yamuna devi had established a farming community for women so many years ago.   I believe that Hare Krsna Women's centers are needed in every town and village worldwide. 

    Marriage carries with it some rather steep and serious obligations.  I believe that the main concern is to establish trusted relationships with nice Hare Krsna devotees. This will be important whether or not there is actual marriage vows.  

    May Lord Sri Krsna Always Bless you and yours!

    Your humble neighborhood Hare Krsna,

    Dandavats dasa


  • Haribol! I agree to all of this. It does not hurt my feelings at all. It has been some time since I posted the marriage discussion and I have had time to think more about it. 

  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krishna Mataji,

    The scripture enjoins," Putresu dara". That means,to beget a son,one has to accept a wife. 

    Here is a problem that you can not have children by providence or what so ever. So, why do you want material sense gratifications which has only pains and complecated life.

    In SB 5.5.8,t is stated that:

    puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ

    tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ

    ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair

    janasya moho ’yam ahaṁ mameti



    The attraction between male and female is the basic principle of material existence. On the basis of this misconception, which ties together the hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home, property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life’s illusions and thinks in terms of “I and mine.”
    So, all problems you have to take on your head for a little pleasure of sense gratification. Also,you are already at 42 which is near to 50. At age of 50 you must take the process of vanaprastha( a pre stage of sanyasa). So, where is the time you have for all such nonsense things. You have to enjoy your life in Krishna conscoiusness in full extent though the devotional life which is the real pleasure for your mind and anxiety free. 
    Therefore, I suggest you divert your mind to read Srilla Prabhupada's transcedental books daily and take up Deity Worship to have a real change and best pleasure in your thoughts.
    Again if you see this verse of SB, 7.9.45:

    yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tucchaṁ kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ kaṇḍūtivan manasijaṁ viṣaheta dhīraḥ


    Sex life is compared to the rubbing of two hands to relieve an itch. Gṛhamedhis, so-called gṛhasthas who have no spiritual knowledge, think that this itching is the greatest platform of happiness, although actually it is a source of distress. The kṛpaṇas, the fools who are just the opposite of brāhmaṇas, are not satisfied by repeated sensuous enjoyment. Those who are dhīra, however, who are sober and who tolerate this itching, are not subjected to the sufferings of fools and rascals. 

    So, please be tolerant and accept Krishna as your everything. This is a spiritual suggestion only. You may accept or reject. Please do not mind if this reply has hurt your feelings.

    Hare Krishna!

  • if your faith in Krishna is becoming shaky then you can worship goddess Katyayani. gopis worshipped Katyayani to have Krishna as their husband. hopefully she will solve all your problems.

  • Hare Krsna!


    I think it might be possible to marry a man the same age or older.  However, to be higher than Sudra it is necessary to be very free from sex desire.  This may be difficult for some people. 

    You are welcome to participate in a number of Vaisnava Marriage groups on Facebook, LinkedIn, and YahooGroups.  Here are some addresses. 

    Vaisnava Marriage:

    Share this link to help people find your group.
    Emails sent to this address will appear as posts in the group.

    Vegetarian Singles:

    Vaisnava Singles:

    May Lord Sri Krsna Always Bless and Protect you!

    Hare Krsna!

    Vaisnava Marriage
    Vaisnava Marriage. 820 likes · 2 talking about this. Putting together what we need to know about Vaisnava Marriage - Before, During, and Retirement Y…
  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna dear Mataji,


    I have sent you a friend's invite. Pls accept. I will answer your question as a personal mail.


    Your servant,

    Radha Rasamayi DD

This reply was deleted.