plz suggest me which one lord krishna accept. and what we do in case of love marrige parents not allowed.
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plz suggest me which one lord krishna accept. and what we do in case of love marrige parents not allowed.
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One point we have to understand is that in kali-yuga everyone is shudra by birth and we develop qualities by the environment we are brought up in. So do not go by the so called castes. Try to understand the nature of boy and girl.
Read more in Prabhupada's books what characteristics of a person define his mode (goodness, passion and ignorance) and how they map to our Varnas (brahmin, kshatriya, vaishya, shudra). After this, try to analyze if boy is of a higher Varna (which is a favorable case).
Malis belong to the shudra caste and the Marathas belong to the Kshatriya caste. When a Mali boy marries to a Maratha girl, the marriage would be classified as 'Pratilom'. Pratilom marriages are not permitted in the Varnashram system of Hinduism. It's progeny will be classified as Varna-sankara i.e they will neither belong to any four castes. However, the progeny will be entitled to attain liberation, if pursued diligently.
Manusmrti : 3. 21 mentions eight types of marriages :
1. Brahma 2. Daiva 3. Arsha 4. Prajapatya 5. Aasur 6. Gandharva 7. Rakshasa and 8. Paishacha
(of which, 6th marriage i.e Gandharva vivaha is in today's parlance, called as 'love marriage' and the first 5 marriages are kinds of arranged marriage.)
Of the above eight marriage, first 4 marriages are permitted for the Brahmanas. 5th-7th type of Marriage has been permitted for the Kshatriyas and the Vaishyas. The last marriage i.e Paishacha has been permitted to the Shudras.
Lord Krishna married with Rukminiji as per Rakshasha vivaha where, a war is fought and the girl is kidnapped after which the couple marries. Lord Krishna was a Kshatriya and Rakshasha vivaha is permitted to the kshatriyas.
Besides above, you should also need to know about anuloma and pratiloma marriages.
An anulom marriage is one in which a man of a higher class (varna) marries a woman of a lower class while a pratilom marriage is one which involves the marriage of a man of a lower class to a woman of a superior class. The offsprings of the two are called anulom and pratilom progeny.
In reality anulom and pratilom relationships are not sanctioned by Righteousness. Yet all these offsprings were entitled to the attainment of God. This was proven when Shukracharya accepted Suta as His close disciple. Suta’s father was a Brahman while His mother, a Kshatriya. Suta preached the Shrimadbhagvat and other Purans to sages like Shounak. Though Suta was a great exponent of Righteousness He used to consider Himself a Shudra, due to His anulom birth.
Krishna is pleased when the Varnashrama dharma is followed. Hence, you can take the decision as per your Varna and ashrama.
In case, the girl whom you love is marriageable with you as per the Varnashrama dharma and also Krishna conscious, yet your parents are against her (perhaps, they want a dowry or they prefer some material qualities over her virtuosity) then, for the sake of Krishna consciousness, you can even go against your parent's wishes and marry with that chaste Krishna conscious girl.
firstly we have to understand that in previous ages parents also were very religious and intelligent. So when they used to look for a girl or boy for their child they used to study everything:
-horoscope
-family background
-qualities of a boy or girl
-looks if their own child is suitable for her or him
-material situation
-interests
-education
-goals in life
...
but these days mostly parents want their daughters to marry to a rich man no matter what age, quality, religion...
so should we obey to such type of orders???
....
Another thing is that in ISKCON usually love marriage is rare, of course if boys and girls live according to Vaishnava etiquette then love marriage is rare. Because they do not mingle with each other so easily so where is the word of "love"?
So only arranged marriage is available. And that happens through senior Devotees who are in charge marriage boards in each Temple.
...
In karmi world mostly happens marriage with so called love. But as i see in the example of my some friends the results are very sad. So better to hear advises of senior-experienced ones and then only get married not out of blind "love".
Your servant,
>>>>firstly we have to understand that in previous ages parents also were very religious and intelligent.
.This is not true,,,even in India there were so many non-devottes, who were and are serious about arrange marriage.
ISKCON has more divorce and love marriage rate then karmi/outside people.
Mostly marriage are done like Love Marriage, within ISKCON.
That's why when H.H.Subhag Maharaj joined ISKCON as full time in London. Srila Prabhupada Warned him and suggest that "You learn devotional practice from devotees here, but keep a culture of what you have learn from your parents specially mother.
ISKCON is fail upto great extant culture wise, for example
- Free mixing of men-women
- Working women, rather than taking care of family and husband's family, Now mostly mataji\s can't tolerate husband\s parents. Srila Prabhupada sister was tolerating her husband who was eating meat, she was cooking meat for her husband, she is Mahabhagvata, This exmample can not be taken as General, but Principle can be understand
- Deliberately Not having children, this will make women unsatisfied.
- No putting Sinddor, improper hair style etc. etc.
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So above is some of the culture-wise major missing things within ISKCON.
Then how and what we should do ?
First of read srila prabhupada books, listen his lectures, there is lots of pracitcal knowldge there within. Also there is special book for Before getting marridge and after gettting marridge
Book name is "Samskara". Nice book, must have for everyone except Brahmacari.
Also we need guidance of Mature Devotte, who act accordingly his divine grace, but there is lots of information in his divine grace's books, lectures. We don't read the manual of gadget and we brake head with the problem of gadgets, in similar way many problems can be solved if we read srila prabhupada books.
http://www.bvks.com/2011/11/time-for-a-revolution-2
Hare Krishna
Madhava Das
www.HareKrishnaMedia.com
Fully agree with you Prabhuji.
Jai Srila Prabhupada !
Hare Krishna.
in order wife sit at home woman should have a husband who is ready to perform his duties, isn't it?
If he is not doing his duties and kids are hungry then what can wife do?
So here we need that men also get proper education of their dharma, isn't it?
Women do not like to do job, they get tired outside but many of them do it because they do not have other option.
For example, i have a friend whose father died just recently and they are 3 girls and mother who does not have education so she can not do any job...so what will they do???
Only thing is daughters should study and work which they are doing. If they get married what will be with mother? So some are working and some are studying.
So we have to use our intelligence and act according to time, place and circumstances.
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Arranged marriage? If boys were not choosy then girls would get easily married on time, but these days boys became choosy. They look for Urvashi on Earth.
Plus with education, good family background, BEAUTY, plus good qualities...sometimes girl who works and earns money oh what a shame!!!
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agree with hair style and other external clothings. It is true loose hair usually in Vedic times only prostitutes used to have...
Hare Krsna dear prabhu!
Well, using the example of Lord Rama - the ideal person, we see that He always obeyed His parents, no matter what. On the orders of King Dasaratha and Queen Kaikeyi, he cheerfully accepted exile.
Further, we have such teachings such as Matrudevo Bhava, Pitrudevo Bhava (One should treat his/her parents as God), thus our greatest duty as a son or daughter is to obey our parents.
Now, since this is KaliYuga, we don't have that high level of tolerance to obey our parents constantly (as each generation progress, they have less and less respect for their parents). Now if you want to do a love marriage, you should seek permission from your parents (not only are they wiser but they have the experience). One of the highest orders of life is to fulfill your duty - and being a son, it is your duty to not go against the wishes of your parents.
Hopefully this answers your question.
If anyone feels offended, please accept my sincerest apologies and obeisances.
YS
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