Hare Krishna To All Vaishnavas !!
This question is everyday haunting me , finally thought to discuss
Before becoming Krishna Councious , I worshipped Krishna ,But did not knew
who is he really . . Who am I . . ?
So i committed to a girl 5 Years younger than me , and promissed that i will marry her for sure
" Actually That Girl Only have his brother and no one in this world ,
She proposed me in Sadness and tears , I asked Krishna within my heart what to do ,
He said Go Ahead , Live for her ,she needs you unconditionally "
Now i am only Boy child of my parents so they agreed , I told them please do not talk to me about this matter before i stand on my feets !!
I meet that girl nearly once in a month and that also from very far , because i know people can think in wrong way , if Krishna do not want us to be together ,than atleast no one will put finger on her values !!
Now i am 21 , and sometimes think what will happen after marriage beacause i am KCON ,
and how to live with a women , especialy when i have always ignored these things . .
Also how to wait for 5 more years !!
I do not want to distract myself in Sexual Life because i have faced chalenges to overcome ,
sexual attraction !!
sometime i think tht Krishna if you had not sent this girl then i would had remained Bhramchari,
and controlled my senses , what is this Krishna , that you have given a gift that will take you away from me !!
I have told her that we have to remain KCON forever ,
but i do not like worshipping whole day then , enjoying senses in Night !!
It will be a cheat to Krishna !!
Please help and suggest ways to Controll Senses Today and after marriage !!
Please help i need Your Help Krishna !!
Please help me . .
Replies
Hare Krsna Prabhu.
Jai Srila Prabhupada
Please accept my respectful obeisances.
The most important thing in any relationship is communication. please let her know of your plans. Thus she will not feel insecured.
just today in the lecture of His Holiness Bhakti Vikash Swami Maharaja heard that in one place Srila Prabhupada told if a Devotee wants and needs something very much then he has to pray to Lord Narasimha Dev :-D so for material things also we can go to Krishna also. As Sudama did.
But when we chant our 16 we have to pray to remove unneeded desires.
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First and foremost thing that we have to remember when we live among Devotees is that always RESPECT them whatever there is. :-)
All glories to Guru and Gouranga!
Your servant,
Respected Ashwani Kumar Prbahu, if she is a Devotee girl and chants her rounds then You are fortunate.
Just in the question above You told that You do not want serve to Krishna in day times and be engaged with sense gratification at night times, i thought girl was not a Devotee at all.
If You want to give to her protection then it should be glorified and honored. But she also should gain good qualities in order to be qualified to be a wife of a Devotee who does not drink, smoke but knows his responsibilities.
21 is early to a man. But for girl 21-5 = 16 is also little bit early, but acceptable.
It says that man starts to become mature only after 24-25. In those ages his vision to the world changes. And that time only he starts to do his responsibilities: like 4 types of protection to a wife, rules and regulations regarding having and educating children...
As Siddhartha Prabhu told, You need material things not for sense gratification and here it is not a Maya. Maya is that if You enter into Grihastha ashram and keep hungry Your children.
Main aim of Grihastha ashram is to have Krishna Conscious children. You have to have place to live, something to eat, wear for them. have something for paying for their nice education, maybe some nice Gurukula education.
Grihastha Devotees do not leave for charity except Brahmanas.
You told that You are planning to marry after 26 and saying to her You will marry to her. Then it is nice.
But if after 4 years you change Your plan than it will kill her. It will be the most horrible thing in her life.
Or else for security You can documentary marry but wait for 4 years. So that her mind will be calm and fixed in one person who is You.
Interesting, at this time You are working or studying?!
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if i were You, for 4 years i would try the next things:
to enter into Brahmachari Ashram and to be trained nicely as a Devotee. maybe for 1-2 years. then would find job and get ready for Grihastha ashram.
Because only first class Brahmachari is able to become a first class Grihastha.
Believe me, to be trained as a Brahmachari under the authorities will be very beneficial to You and to Your future children and of course to Your future wife. You will have time to learn Bhagavatam, serve to Deities (which should be done in every Grihastha house), serve to Devotees, have friends among Devotees, You will gain more experience of preaching, You will gain qualities....so many pluses.
Now, You got so many ideas from so many Devotees, now think, analyze nicely and decide what to do!
And pray to Krishna to guide You!
Your servant,
Hare Krishna Maral Mata jee, please accept my humble obeisances! all glories to Srila Prabhupada! You are gifted in speech and writing as much as in your thoughts. You must have done a lot good in your previous lives.
Your servant,
Sharanagat
No, No each of us here can speak because we have done nothing good in previous lives but Srila Prabhupada made our pious sukriti, isn't it?!
and if we just listen and repeat what we heard people may glorify us but in the reality we are just parrots :-D
Your servant,
Hare Krishna Ashwani prabhu,
PAMHO
All glories to Srila Prabhu Pada!
Although Iam fallen soul I feel that deep in your heart you want to marry that girl. Its Ok and no problem at all, the only thing is make sure you and your family are KCon. But before marrying make sure you earned good degree in education and have good job in hand, otherwise your life goes in trying hard to earn money and raise family. You can tell her to wait and support her in your decision. I feel you are too young to get married.
Your Servant
Aakash
Siddhartha Prabhi,
Accept my humble obisience. You have answered it yourself - "Avoid sin and chant Mahamantra."
You opted karma, you must fulfill it right way. Krishna himself in second chapter of Geeta says Arjuna to fulfill his duty or promise of duty, as one may see. I am not sure if I am offending anyone here, but Grihastha Ashram is must to avoid selfishness for average souls. Only learned souls can avoid it.
Sorry if I offended anyone.
Maral Mata,
Please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada! Won't it be selfish not to allow souls to seek the guidance of two enlightened parents?
Prabhu Ashwani jee, I am not learned soul but I will give a worldly advice. If you decide to start family, no matter how much you care, expose your wife to worldly problem you face, maybe limited. Allow her to see and more importantly face some part from day one. Else she will be a pampered and will never be able to understand the depth of pain you take to keep home and family together and price of your blood and sweat. She will think it all comes from nowhere. Same goes for you, take some time to help her in home, else you will never be able to see what she is doing for you. Just a brotherly advice.
Hare Krishna Ashwani Kumar Prabhu, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
If i were in a male body i d prefer to remain in the Brahmachari ashram and be engaged with full Temple service and preaching----nectar!
Decide Yourself!
There are so many nice girls in ISKCON who are also strict in spiritual life. And if She wants sense gratification i am sure She can find husband with similar desires, but do not say me that in whole India there is no such like a person!
Your servant,