Krishna, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You are my best friend, my one true love. You are so gentle and kind and loving, Krishna, and I am only your poor, lowly servant. I feel like the most fortunate person in all the universes to have You, and also I feel like the most unfortunate fool to ever exist. This is because with all the love you show me, I cannot begin to fathom the depth or importance of our love, and I take it for granted. I remain attached to the material world despite all You have done for me, and I am so poor and lacking in my service to You.
You are so forgiving that you excuse me immediately for direct disobedience, yet I cannot even forgive myself for acting so foolishly. You are so merciful that You have given me this life to live and love you with, but I am so unconscious that I cannot focus even for a few minutes on your form. You are so loving that you fill me with transcendental ecstacy, even when I have done nothing special for You. You are so patient that You have waited for me all this time, and still wait for me, though I am so ignorant and foolish and cannot even be patient for one day. You are so graceful in Your association that You are always surprising, yet I am so conditioned that I sometimes mistake Your actions to be mundane and ordinary. You are so infinitely blissful that You have thousands of wives and infinities of servants, yet still you would spend time with me, a lowly conditioned soul who cannot even begin to fully appreciate You in Your glory.
How could I be so fortunate, Krishna? I don't deserve You.
Oh Krishna, when will I be able to love You to Your full satisfaction? When will I weep with ecstacy in the manner of Caitanya, just for chanting Your holy names? When will I be so firmly situated in love for You that I disregard material association? When will my heart no longer be split in two directions, like two coi fish swimming in a circle, and my love become focused wholly on Your radiant self? When will I feel worthy of Your love?
Thoughts of a mad and foolish lover