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Hare Krishna,

 

What is the Krishna Conscious solution for violent and abusive relationships?

 

Should a woman leave her husband? Will it not be a Vaishnava aparadha? What is the husband is not at all  a devotee to start with and neither is aspiring to be one? Will leaving consitute bad karma?

 

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  • Volunteer

    MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 1.‏

    http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...

    MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 2.‏

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    MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 3.‏

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    MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 4.‏

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    MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 5.‏

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    MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 6.‏

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    MARRIAGE IN KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. PART 7.‏

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  • Volunteer

    Q. WHO ARE THE GRHAMEDHIS ? PART 1.‏

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    IMPORTANT PRINCIPLES OF GRHASTHA (HOUSEHOLDER) ASHRAM.‏

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  • Hare Krishna

    By the Supreme Lord's mercy have I been able to survive for 22 years. I have three beautiful girls and 2 grandchildren.

    I continously prayed to the Lord and after so many years we are all temproraily happy. When we go through trials and tribulations epspecially verbally and physical we should never loose our faith.FAITH< PATIENCE<CONFIDENCE is what we require. After 22 years one realises that its not about ourselves but LOrd Krishna. When we circumbulate Tulasi mata we beg forgivness. BEG and pray to Tulasi mata. One day your life will be what you never expected. Never leave your husband and persevere.You always remain a wonderful devotee and  serve Srila Prabhupada's movement to the fullest and know our purpose.

    YS

    Vrindadevidasi

     

  • Volunteer

    Dear Sharanagat Prabhu, lets do one thing!

    For one month only You try to do next things and see the result:

    ---to try to chant the Holy Names in the association of Devotees, if there is a Temple near by.

    ---to read Bhagavad Gita everyday

    ---to listen lectures

    Here are some very nice lectures that will change Your life if You follow them:

    Marriage life and Relitionships: http://audio.iskcondesiretree.info/index.php?q=f&f=%2F02_-_ISKC...

     Parents training children: http://audio.iskcondesiretree.info/index.php?q=f&f=%2F02_-_ISKC...

     

    Personality Development: http://audio.iskcondesiretree.info/index.php?q=f&f=%2F02_-_ISKC...

    Sense gratification :  http://audio.iskcondesiretree.info/index.php?q=f&f=%2F02_-_ISKC...

     

    Vaishnava Aparadha:  http://audio.iskcondesiretree.info/index.php?q=f&f=%2F02_-_ISKC...

      Wish You that Krishna will take care of You and give to You needed strength and desire! Also request Devotees to pray to Your spiritual life!

    If questions appear Devotees here are ready to help You!

     Your servant,

    • Mata jee,

      Humble obeisances! Sashtang dandwat!

      I go to temple twice every week and chant daily. My chanting has helped. The more I chant, the better I feel. I have no idea how much chanting should be done. I usually do between 6-10 rounds that has helped a lot. I have got the strength from it. The feeling of loss is diminishing, only the guilt of wrongdoing sits. I read Srimad Bhagwad as I am not qualified to understand Bhagwad Gita at this stage. I also plan to do service in temple, cleaning or washing as they will allow.

      I have seen Krsna help me, it has been kripa(blessing) of him. For desires:

      On material side:

      You will not believe, my Bhaktin has calmed down like before. She is like an ocean, nothing perturbs her for long. Her fear is gone and her anger is gone too. She is perhaps feeling for me once more and seeing things from my side too. As I keep chanting, HE smiles and then I see the result, almost immediately.

      Spiritual side:

      I have calmed down a lot. It would have taken ages for me to come down to where I am, or maybe never, had I not chanted. In fact, in last few weeks, I sought forgiveness from near and far people. It gives immense peace inside, the burn of years is dying.

      Family side:

      My kids are feeling so close to me. My daughter has come closer and my son is talking little, whatever he feels like talking.

      Work side:

      I am working with peace of mind. I am not high performer any more. But I am doing things diligently.

      Other than chanting, 3-4 hours of Bhajan has helped me tremendously. I saw a father going with his son, little younger than my son. I closed my eyes and felt my son holding my hand. It was calming. Earlier I used to have pain in heart, today I felt his hands and missed him, that is it. Same for my daughter, I felt her claps and hand.

      I am not worried, Krsna will bring my life back. For him it is not even moving his fingers, it is as easy for HIM. So I see the results as you said - on all sides: spiritual, mental to worldly side.

      I will surely go through the audios tonight after I am back from temple. You are very learned soul. Please keep guiding us.

      Your servant,

      Sharanagat

      • Volunteer

        I put within my heart, how guilty,

        Air full balloon, now empty.

        Flew away, now empty, it's empty,

        From my heart for eternity.

         

        Yes, i see Sharanagat Prabhu, to say something to others is the easiest thing but similar difficulty comes on your own way then you will really feel other's position. These days Krishna gave put me in the same situation......

        It is very difficult to survive in this world. We put our faith into our close friends, relatives but they are not ideal as like we are ourselves. We do not have ocean like heart in order to accept everyone's love. And because of that one person loves another, father loves kids, husband loves wife or vise versa but the opposite side may betray your love. and it is very painful.

        Because of that we have to trust our heart only to Krishna. Krishna has ocean like heart. He does not neglect surrounded soul.

        Lord Ramachandra once said: "If person once says Oh Lord, I am Yours!"  with faith, then I will accept him/her".

        If we put our faith into material bodies, mental bodies then we will suffer.

        Your servant,

      • I am not qualified to speak on the experience of a vaisnava woman but I can speak on the topic of abuse generally.

        Since the topic is "abusive relationships", I would assume that it is not limited simply to marriage because abuse can occur in many kinds of relationship. In that regard my only comment is that as we have an obligation to respect ourselves and that is a brahminical quality. Bhagavad-Gita is very clear regarding what sorts of actions are in the mode of ignorance - tama guna. To cause harm to one's self or to another is evidence that one is under the influence of tama guna. Our goal is to come to the platform of pure goodness - suddha sattva. This would include not only refraining from causing harm to other living entities but also not allowing others to harm us. We must be prudent in this regard and use our basic common sense.

         

        Humility means surrender to guru and krishna. This is not the same as 'humiliation' which is a symptom of an oppressive reltaionship. Srila Prabhupada has recognized in The Gita, as well as his Bhagavatam that persons in positions of respect, whether acting as gurus, husbands or politicians are not worthy of that respect if they behave in ways that are oppressive by using various kinds of abuse. They should be rejected on the principles of spiritual progress. The experience of abuse is a horrible experience and it can interfere with our ability to become steady in our service to sri sri radha-krsna. 

        The purpose of Prabhupada's mission is to create pure vaisnavas who are attached to the lotus feet of guru and krishna. Anything that helps us in this regard should be accepted and anything that interferes with that should be rejected. Always remember krishna and never forget him. That is the highest regulative principle for all ashrams. 

         

        Hari bol!

        KP

         

  • Volunteer

    i did not know that personality disorders are able to be cured? if only person himself does not have determination to do so :-(

  • Volunteer

    Hare Krishna Sharanagat Prabhu, please accept my humble obeisances! ALl glories to Srila Prabhupada!

    The first duty of the husband is to control his senses. When husband's senses are controlled he becomes strong. Why women take shelter of men? Because they do not have protection. But if man becomes weak then woman won't respect him and she does not feel any protection from him.

     -------------

    It is woman should eat after her husband not husband after her. When husband is depended not on her but on Guru and Krishna then wife will automatically depend on him.

    Not husband should depend on his wife.

    --------

    Again, women like strong men! How can man become strong? When he becomes a "go swami" not "go dasa". When he controls his senses.

    ----------

    Please, for a while, just a while, forget Your wife, but try to associate with Devotees, visit Temple, attend Kirtans, Namahattas, find chance to chant along with Devotees, read Srila Prabhupada's books, listen lectures which You can download from IDT, and doing these things You will get higher taste. And will be able to control Your senses. And Your wife will start to respect You.

    Please, depend on Krishna! Pray to the Holy Names to give You higher taste so that You could be able to loose attraction to the lower tastes.

    We are souls. For trillion lives we had married billion times. we had billions of husbands and wives, children. billion lives we took birth and died. even now we are chewing the chewed things and suffer.

    The meaning of human life is to stop for a while and THINK: WHAT I AM DOING? WHOM AM I? WHERE I AM GOING? FOR WHAT I CAME TO THIS WORLD? WHY I SUFFER? WHY SOON I WILL DIE?

    Your servant,

     

    • Hare Krishna Bhaktin Maral Mata jee. I was lost indeed. My senses overtook me in course of time. When I was devoted, I used to have very decent control on my senses. At this time, it is just one person on which I am not able to control, her affection and true devotion for me overtakes when I think of her.

      Even in temple, I feel that she should have been with me, doing prayers and kirtan.

      Please guide me further.

      Your servant,

      Sharanagat

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